The Pessimist’s Guide to 2017

By Mithun Mohandas | Updated Jan 04 2017
The Pessimist’s Guide to 2017

2016  was a really bad year, we lost Alan Rickman, David Bowie and the glorious Harambe. 2017 could really outdo 2016 if the following were to happen ...

The Pessimist’s Guide to 2017

1. Nuclear Kim

Fatty Kim the Third has been bawling like a sullen child all this while. His constant threats to nuke the crap out of the America have started getting old. But one of these days, a tired North Korean military researcher might actually get things right and build Kimmy his first viable nuclear missile. But will Jonggy use it?

The Pessimist’s Guide to 2017

2. Hackity Hack

With the US Presidential elections over and the losing side whining about hackers having influenced the outcome of the elections, 2017 looks to be a year when countries go at each others’ throats, at least in the digital arena. Things could go horribly wrong but one thing’s for sure – WikiLeaks will have its hands full.

The Pessimist’s Guide to 2017

3. You get spied on

Technology companies have this nasty habit of spying on their users and there have been some huge admissions by certain Silicon Valley giants. Who knows if you discover in 2017 that almost every social network, mail service and everything on the internets were spying on you from the very beginning. *sigh*

The Pessimist’s Guide to 2017

4. Game of Thrones cancelled

In a twist of events, something that George R. R. Martin is quite well known for, HBO decides to one up Georgie by pulling the ultimate Game of Thrones death scene by cancelling Game of Thrones right before the April season premiere. We might probably go picket outside HBOs offices if that were to happen.

The Pessimist’s Guide to 2017

5. Aliens land on earth

We’ve been wondering about it for ages, whether we are the only ones alive in this gigantic universe. The answer though positive might not bode well for us humans as any species capable of interstellar flight will have sufficiently powerful weapons than us and we’ll be delegated to the role of food. Yikes!

The Pessimist’s Guide to 2017

6. World War III

The killing of Archduke Franz Ferdinand set off World War I in motion back in the days when all was fine and dandy. And now with the tense atmosphere in Europe, Russia’s ambassador got shot dead by a lunatic. While experts believe this won’t set off World War III, it surely has become a cause for concern.