# Joke: Guidelines for posting on this forum.



## alexanderthegreat (Feb 22, 2009)

CAUTION:This is just a joke for light reading (But sadly, this is the unspoken truth!). The real rules are the exact opposite of the guidelines posted below.
The poster recommends people follow the real rules (Link in signature).

*<satire>*
Guidelines for posting on this forum, and for getting a proper response:- (Otherwise, you'll be ignored like hell!)
1. NEVER use the search feature before posting. Usage of the search feature will result in more bandwidth usage for this forum's servers. Being as crappy as the servers are, that will most probably result in server overload and you will be banned from the forums for all eternity. 

Moreover, the search feature will only take its time getting cozy and take a nap and return results which look alien to you.

2. If you find the problem to your solution even before posting, don't stop! Post it anyway! It will earn you post count as post count IS counted in Across the Board section.

3. In spite of the forum rules and guidelines asking you to use proper titles for posts, NEVER use proper titles. Titles which express the exact prolem you've got are very unpleasing to look at. I mean come on! Who'd like to read "Error code 1337x6743872EE at POST in AMI BIOS". Instead of all this, type in titles that are nice to look at. Titles like "!!!!!!Plz!!!! Hlp!!! URGNT!!!!!!!" look waaay too cool and catch more attention. Thus:-
"DevC++ compilation error :<error message here>" - Bad
"Dev C++ won't compile my program! It hates me, boo hoo" - Good
"Plz Hlp Fulkz!! Urgnt hlp reqd." - Smart
"!!!!!!Plz!!!!! Hlp Fulkz!! Urgnt!!!! hlp reqd.!!!!!" -Best (and cool)
Never forget to decorate your title with lots of cool(read: incessant) '!'s and '?'s

4. NEVER get to the point in the first line! The first line should be used to describe your favourite itching spot or your dog's new mental illness which was caused because you stole it's new pair of socks.

5. Post your problem several times all across the board. This may result in you getting warned by any moderator but your original post WILL get noticed!

6. Dig out reeeally old threads and just reply to them with "^^+1" or "I agree". You will be considered the coolest kid in the block! The thread might get locked but your post count will be retained!

7. Never post in the right section! If a mod moves it, it will grab his attnetion and he will reply to it after he moves it.

8. In the news section, just post random comments even if you don't have a damned clue about what is being reported.

9. Post tutorials like "Press Space bar! See? It enters a space! See? Cool, eh?"

10. Post count is everything! Remember that! Whenever you spot a spam post, ALWAYS reply with "*&^&*%##*#(% Spammer!".
*</satire>*

No offence intended to any human, mole rat, rabbit or dog, fictional or real!
No animals were harmed in the making of this post. (Except the dog who's socks got stolen).


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## Kl@w-24 (Feb 22, 2009)

Ahh, finally someone has unearthed the unwritten set of rules for this forum!!


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## comp@ddict (Feb 22, 2009)

Nice one
 this shud be made sticky


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## Liverpool_fan (Feb 22, 2009)




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## iinfi (Feb 22, 2009)

will try to follow these from now on.


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## Krazy Bluez (Feb 22, 2009)

Heee hee heee.....now I'm really gonna try it someday.....


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## rhitwick (Feb 22, 2009)

On behalf of Alexander (without taking his permission though) I say, everyone has his right to express his damn views...


Every post is welcome


No reporting


Everyone get hold of SPAMbots, when u r tired of posting use them


Spammers are always right (b4 reporting them plz find out if theres' any human or living being behind it, then he/she/it has right to fcuking* SAY*)
Unban all old member who were accused of spamming and flaming


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## Anorion (Feb 22, 2009)

*&^&*%##*#(% Spammer!

My second favorite itching spot took offence


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## max_demon (Feb 22, 2009)

^+1


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## j1n M@tt (Feb 22, 2009)

lol.....i hav followed almost all these rules when I was noob here


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## Kl@w-24 (Feb 22, 2009)

Haaaaiiii!!!!!!! I am having problem with my computer. I think it hates me. Whenever I start it up, nothing happens. Monitor does not show anything!!!
My vendor said that I should get the RAM checked!!!!! What the hell is RAM?? I thought there were only the monitor, CPU, keyboard & mouse in a computer!!!
Please please please, help me!! I will be forever greatfulllll to you!!!! Please!!!!!


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## alexanderthegreat (Feb 22, 2009)

^^You forgot the ultimate anti eye weapon! The SMS language. 

Anyway, I posted this (out of frustration) because this is exactly what people *do*.


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## Kl@w-24 (Feb 22, 2009)

Oops!!!!! Sry my baD!! I wil try nt 2 rept d sm mistk agn!!!!


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## gopi_vbboy (Feb 22, 2009)

the truth is ur imperfections gets us to more noticing than being normal


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## victor_rambo (Feb 22, 2009)

make this thread sticky


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## ring_wraith (Feb 22, 2009)

Finally, some original humour with a purpose. Dog thing was fantastic 

[Celebrates increase in post count]


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## 6x6 (Feb 22, 2009)

^^+1


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## krates (Feb 22, 2009)

^^+1


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## j1n M@tt (Feb 22, 2009)

hey guys, post count will not increase by posting here "^^+1"


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## Kl@w-24 (Feb 22, 2009)

Good article. I wholeheartedly agree with the views expressed in this article.

__________________________________________________________

For best deals on branded mobile phones visit www.spammymobile.com


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## a_k_s_h_a_y (Feb 22, 2009)

Way Back in *2000 *I got my First PC. I was 12 years old Then.

It my first time with computers. I changed the screen saver in Windows 98 to That space screen saver, Changed the wallpaper. That was enough to put me on Top of Mount Everest on 1st day !! Was big time on cloud nine.
Win 98 SE ruled those days.

It was *PIII, 64 MB SD RAM, Intel 810 Chipset, 15GB Quantum FileBall HDD, 15inch Samsung CRT V55 * Motherboard.

Then i started to subscribe to Computers@Home Magazine, Then started my Geek Life !
Every month on the 5th I used to wake up early and wait at my house door open wide for the Magazine,
First thing i would check out was the Games That were in the in DISK provided with the magazine. 

hmmm Those were the days !! And now............. huh !!


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## rhitwick (Feb 22, 2009)

Kl@w-24 said:


> For best deals on branded mobile phones visit www.spammymobile.com


Tu "Ad" kyoin kar raha hai??
And d site is not opening...



a_k_s_h_a_y said:


> Way Back in 2000 I got my First PC. I was 12 years old Then.
> 
> I changed the screen saver in Windows 98 to That space screen saver, Changed the wallpaper. That was enough to put me on Top of Mount Everest on 1st day !! Was big time on cloud nine.
> Win 98 SE ruled those days.
> ...


Allright, as per d guidelines posted here, u r in right thread, but as per opposite guidelines, u r in wrong thread...


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## Kl@w-24 (Feb 22, 2009)

^ ^ ^ Bhai joke samajh!!! 



> 10. Post count is everything! Remember that! Whenever you spot a spam post, ALWAYS reply with "*&^&*%##*#(% Spammer!".


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## a_k_s_h_a_y (Feb 22, 2009)

LOL !! You did not get it...............!! I know what thread this is Clearly.

Now copying this to that thread also.  

Sadly this is Chit Chat. So no +2 to my post count........ huh ?? now what ??


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## rhitwick (Feb 23, 2009)

Kl@w-24 said:


> ^ ^ ^ Bhai joke samajh!!!


Oh sh1t...I actually searched google on dat site and found 1-2 results on it. There is no site but a few people used that word ago...


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## Faun (Feb 23, 2009)

lol


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## Krazy Bluez (Feb 23, 2009)

++100

Btw $#@$#!@$#^#$ !!!!


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## Faun (Feb 23, 2009)

Stop posting losers !


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## Coool (Feb 23, 2009)

^ +1...


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## comp@ddict (Feb 23, 2009)

THis thread's growing faster than humans, aargh, an ABOMINATION!


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## Faun (Feb 23, 2009)

^^Get some real life dude !


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## comp@ddict (Feb 23, 2009)

Dun be such a loser man^^^


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## Ecstasy (Feb 23, 2009)

Anorion said:


> *&^&*%##*#(% Spammer!
> 
> My second favorite itching spot took offence





max_demon said:


> ^+1


I agree.


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## Coool (Feb 23, 2009)

^ why only you? I too agreed


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## Plasma_Snake (Feb 23, 2009)

Yaar, koi joke bhi batana hai yoon hi bakwas karni hai?


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## Faun (Feb 23, 2009)

^^moron !!!


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## Plasma_Snake (Feb 23, 2009)

Sometimes u gotta be a moron too!


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## Faun (Feb 24, 2009)

^^did it for lulz


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