# Inter-Religion Marriage possible??



## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

Hi guys,
This thread is a bit serious one ....soo I hope to get some relevant suggestions from friends of both communities .

I know its an IT forum...but I have nowhere to ask...most people will avoid an answer or reject the idea completely without any logic.

Actually I am doing my IT job in bangladesh for a indian company...and bangladesh is a Muslim majority country ...but still a secular country.

Now I started liking a muslim girl very much in our client company...She is just perfect...I talk to her daily...but she is not too free in talking cause I am equivalent to position of her boss's boss 

 I am a originally from this side of bengal before partition...and I have no problem communicating and mixing up with bangladeshi people. 

As I am 29 and settled in job , my parents have started looking for my partner....

I know after wards I may have to tell lie to whole community about her relegion...but I have no issues with any religion...I am clean at heart..My parents may also accept her...

the question is ....Should I go ahead ....Going ahead means tell her...ask parents clearly...make it possible..

Or leave it as an infatuation /crush ....


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## Hrishi (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

As long as the family of the lady has no objection on it and you have complete support and agreeent of your family , there should be no harm in it.
But just make sure that she has no problems with your religion , and you don't have any problems with her religion.

However , to be honest , some of the members in society will always think negatively.So you'll have to deal with them.


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## vickybat (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

*Sujoy* i don't know but you have to ask this question to yourself than others. You can't take crucial decisions in your life based on others opinions mate.

Infatuation is basically one sided, but when its both sided ( to and fro communication), then its simply love.

If you are sure about everything and parents agree too, then there shouldn't be any problem. Religion does not come between love.
But make sure you do a full background check, like her family and probably everything about her ( be a detective ).

If everything's clear, take the ultimate decision of your life.


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

I am not afraid of those some people...but dont want my parents to suffer anything...

Also I am the only son with no bro or sis....soo more responsibility of parents

I am in bangladesh and we r talking about a girl of different country...i cant be a detective here...I have thought of asking a common person who is a good fellow...but then it will be out that I like her...

I am not asking for a decesion...I just want a opinion from our generation...


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## vickybat (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> But y is that most people dont object on hindu-christian  ..hindu-sikh...hindu-buddhist  etc marriage  .....y people see it soo complicated with hindu-muslim
> 
> I am not afraid of those some people...but dont want my parents to suffer anything...
> 
> Also I am the only son with no bro or sis....soo more responsibility of parents



If you have doubts and care about society, then i guess you have to put brakes. There are always different sentiments attached with the muslim community.
What about her? Is there an indication that she likes you?


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## icebags (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

there will be rituals, there will be habits and lifestyles are you sure both mian-bibi will have no problem ? 
not to forget, a full background check is a must.


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## vickybat (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> *Also I am the only son with no bro or sis....soo more responsibility of parents*
> 
> I am in bangladesh and we r talking about a girl of different country...i cant be a detective here...I have thought of asking a common person who is a good fellow...but then it will be out that I like her...
> 
> I am not asking for a decesion...I just want a opinion from our generation...



Same here. 

Ok buddy coming from someone like me, if there is true love between you two and both care about each other, then it should be a "go ahead" call.
But remember, it should be both ways in order to work. Be sure it isn't one -sided.

I don't care about community either, but you do have to think about everything. I think you should not involve a "third person" here. 

Do you text her often??


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## Extreme Gamer (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

Sujoy, I think you should do what your heart tells you, and not any of us (what a contradiction, lol). If the feeling is mutual, go ahead.

You should realize that it is _you_ who will spend the remaining time of your life with that girl, and not your parents (in the sense that you have 30 years more with her than your parents do), or your relatives, or other people you know.

If all else fails, you both could stop being hindus and muslims. instead become non-religious (believe in god but not in a particular faith).


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## CommanderShawnzer (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



vickybat said:


> *Sujoy* i don't know but you have to ask this question to yourself than others. You can't take crucial decisions in your life based on others opinions mate.
> 
> Infatuation is basically one sided, but when its both sided ( to and fro communication), then its simply love.
> 
> ...



+1
What if one day she steals all your dough and jumps the border to "Border-jumper Country"
No offense


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@vicky ....It wont be a love marrige but kind of love cum arrange one  ....if it was love I would have break all the laws created by human  

its like i will get married in a year then y not someone of my choice 

@icebags ....u forgot we both will be bengalies ..I am indian bengali and she bangladeshi bengali....food habits are same...rituals r different...but I see here girls watch lots of hindi serials...kuch to seekha hoga ekta kapoor ke serial se 

lifestyle is also different...but that can be matched

ok background check....I will try to find about her as soon as possible...it seems I need to fix a secret meeting with someone


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## Kl@w-24 (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

1. First of all, get to know her feelings. If she doesn't feel the same way then abort mission.

2. If she reciprocates, get to know her properly (not just likes and dislikes, but religious views, family background etc.)

3. You'll be moving back to India when your work in B'desh is done. Would she be willing to move and would her parents agree to their daughter being in another country?

4. Would your parents agree to having a daughter-in-law from not just another religion but from a different country altogether? You know them best, so only you can answer this.

5. Would she be able to adjust to a completely different culture? If not, it could cause problems in the future if/when you two get married.

Think hard.


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@vicky...no I dont text her...but we talk eye to eye mostly  i mean face-2-face ....3rd person is necessary...he is the  boss's boss...and I know him well ...

@extreme gamer .....hummm let me check my heart again 

@commander u r right in every sense 


@Kl@w-24  u have put all the difficult questions before me which i knew will come sooner or later...

ok if she dosnt likes me in that way..but i like her...thats what we do in arrange marriges...2 goats tied togather 
the answers to ur question come after i go ahead..

ok friends soo we have
1. Background check
2. find the answers 

Thanks for encouragemnets ....I think all will be well....


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## Kl@w-24 (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> @Kl@w-24  u have put all the difficult questions before me which i knew will come sooner or later...
> 
> ok if she dosnt likes me in that way..but i like her...thats what we do in arrange marriges...2 goats tied togather
> the answers to ur question come after i go ahead..



Yes, because there's no running away from them. Give it your best shot. Good luck!


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## vickybat (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> @vicky ....It wont be a love marrige but kind of love cum arrange one  ....if it was love I would have break all the laws created by human
> 
> its like i will get married in a year then y not someone of my choice .



 Well sujoy, finding women of your choice is always difficult. If you ditch this one, then finding another doesn't have a fixed amount of time frame. It can be 6 months, 1 year or maybe more.
If you are trying your luck here, here's what to do but .....*.only after a thorough background check. You can take any means you see fit.*
After everything is clear then take the following steps:

*1.* Obtain her number somehow. ( Afterall, you're her boss's boss. )

*2.* Try to make her more involved in your type of work, so that a communication is always possible.

*3.* If not, then get yourself involved somehow around her area. The idea is to get closer.

*4.* Once you start talking, notice her body language in order to point out, how free she really is.

*5.* Once that happens, start telling about your hobbies, show her your amazing photography works and all creative things you've done.
 This is how you should have a good impression in her. Side by side, make her feel safe around you. No other unnecessary movements required here.

*6.* Finally start texting her often and watch the bond grow. Tell her jokes, events and sometimes take it up a bit to the naughty side.
  Remember degree of naughtiness has to be minimal here.

*7.* Then slowly start talking with here via phone. Slowly make it last longer.

*8.* Then comes the time to take her out, you know some odd movies or a small dinner at restaurant. Keep it basic.

*9.* When everything falls in place, ask her out and tell your feelings about her.

*10.* The final response from her side will decide it all. But till this point, you would have known the answer all along.
      So this step can be optional.

All of this should take 3 months or longer. Don't rush at all.
There you go, i guess i gave all my opinions.


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@vicky  ur idea is brillient....but I tell u here people dont have time....she travels 2 + 2 hrs for office ...still i took her for pizza once and took some of her pics there   and she sits just in my next cubical...soo i can always call or talk to her...thats not a problem


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## vickybat (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

^^ So start from *step 4* then.  And always remember to go slow. If your heart kinda beats for her, then its upto you to make the same happen in her.
You know what to do , so start asap.


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## Faun (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

To make a girl love you, you must treat her like a princess. And the most important part is to listen to her, understand her and empathize her in things where she needs support. You don't have to provide a solution, she is not looking for solution but someone who can share her feelings. Be courteous. Don't just talk about yourself, that's not what a girl is looking for. She wants someone to hear her out. 

Jokes are good ice breakers too but that's all about it.

You can involve her more by asking her opinion/advice about things you want to do. But remember the first para still holds more priority, listen to her, understand her.

Girls love gifts at the most unexpected moments (giving gift on birthday is boring). So do surprise her with that. Gift can be related to her hobby or interest.

Don't try to restrict her freedom or intrude more.

Once the thread is thick enough, then you can take things for granted but not so granted. You can talk about yourself and be more informal, can share few secrets too that you would with a trusting person.

Also, you will have to change your faith. That I am pretty sure. Her parents will agree with much less effort then.

If you won't get a life partner out of her somehow, you will still end up with a good trusting friend. Just take things easy.


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## Thunder (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

^Someone give this guy a medal


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## thetechfreak (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

Maybe give her the link to this thread?

PS: I'm really bad with girls and stuff 

Jokes apart, what will be the biggest issue will be the convince your and her parents IMO. Do a full background check, don't make any decision in haste(find if the girl herself has any plans of getting married with someone)


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## rhitwick (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@Sujoy,
dude, wait before you could start thinking about marriage. Marriage is the final step. Go slow, go step by step.

Till now I got that you like this girl and you have no idea about her feelings. 

Before even going to feelings, get comfortable with her. Start talking (and as someone suggested involve her in some activities with you), ask her opinion about things etc...gist show her that her opinion is important to you. All this time a rapport is supposed to be developed with her. 
You would by now have a good idea if you are liking spending time with her or talking with her. This is important. If in this short time she starts boring you....abort!

Very soon you would need to ask a question yourself, *is she the one*? How would you decide that? Well, I guess till now you have a fair idea what qualities you want in a girl and what not. 
If the answer is yes to that question that she was the one for you, then comes the most important question, *"am I ready to do anything for her?"* Well, we all say we can do anything for my gal but we all have our restrictions, do check which boundaries you won't cover in any condition and if situation comes question yourself if she's worth it?

Why all such questions arising? She's of different community, practice a different religion (you might be cool with it but think about your parents and the society you would be living with her later), moreover a different country (need to check with migration laws of our country and Bangladesh)

Bhai, let me tell you...standing here you have two options. Live a predictable life where you know what the next steps are or jump to uncertainity---this could be challenging, tough, at times you would ask if you are doing the right thing. Here the answers to that questions (If she's the one and if you can do anything for her) come into play.

Think properly.

There is another way though which I've started believing to be true. Don't think anything, nothing at all. Just fall in love and let life take its own course.


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## funskar (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

Aslo remember ur are the one n only child of your parents..
They would have a dream for your marriage ,, or (Bahu)


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@faun ...thanks for the tips but I had a girlfriend many years ago ....till 4 years ago...and I somewhat have the ideas ....but I am really afraid of taking any stupid step which will tarnish my Consultant image or girls image. 

@techfreak ....hmm will do the check  thanks

@rhitwick but I am not ready for those old ladki dekho and simple arrange marrige kind of thing...thats too odd, I dont like that idea itself.

I want the girl of my choice...I have noticed the girl enough and asked enough stupid questions for last 1 year   where she lives, what she likes, wat she wears, how she like india, which place she wants to see there, and lots more  

Bangladeshi and indian people get married ...thats not new...and to marry a bangladeshi gal I have to marry in kolkata coz inter religion marrige is prohibited in bangladesh..

Changing my faith is next to impossible...but as somebody said i can become neutral and celebrate both 

@funskar ....yaah those eklauti bahu dreams are dangerous...but my parents will agree


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## Allu Azad (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

Subbed this thread


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## Zangetsu (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

u have to know completely if she has feelings for u or not...otherwise no point moving forward.
remember this quote: _"I am not a Fighter, but I'll fight for what I Love...."_


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@zangetsu  ....ha ha ha ur quote says "I will fight for what I love" and not "who loves me"  ...I think this is what i am doing


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## shreymittal (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



Allu Azad said:


> Subbed this thread



Me too


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

Guys I am again telling you .....I will be getting married within a year....and I really dont belive in ladki dekhne jao and tie knot like goat or cow...I want a girl of my choice...soo I was thinking of taking a chance .

So I was taking the opinion of u guys who are from different places/communities/interests ...if Hindu-Muslim marrige is even possible 

The thread is going in the right direction...and I am very happy with the encouragement


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## Zangetsu (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> if Hindu-Muslim marrige is even possible



possible...


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## Allu Azad (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

Even same-sex marriage is possible now-a-days . Then why not Hindu-Muslim ?


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## shreymittal (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



Allu Azad said:


> Even same-sex marriage is possible now-a-days . Then why not Hindu-Muslim ?



True..
@OP Do what your heart says not what people says. Because if your heart is happy every thing is happy.

"Logon ka kaam hai kehna, kehete hi rhenge". Aap apne dill ki baat suno kyunki yeh happy ni rha toh kuch happy ni rhega. Go ahead bro.


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## abhidev (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

before asking her out for marriage...make sure you both want the same from each other....also take it slow and try to know her better...


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@abhidev ....Actually I have some 3-4 months max more here....then project will be over...its already 10 months here....I dont have much time in hand..

Now there is another way to extend time....if we get next project here ....I may stay more...but i would do that only if there is chance...else I am just delaying my marrige ..


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## Faun (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> *Changing my faith is next to impossible*...but as somebody said i can become neutral and celebrate both


You will have to compromise when you reach this point. There wont be a middle ground or your side unless her parents are modern enough and the law of the land changes. I am assuming your parents will be ok with anything you do.


Has she ever asked you some personal questions ?


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## abhidev (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> @abhidev ....Actually I have some 3-4 months max more here....then project will be over...its already 10 months here....I dont have much time in hand..
> 
> Now there is another way to extend time....if we get next project here ....I may stay more...but i would do that only if there is chance...else I am just delaying my marrige ..



true that...but is your relation with her reached a point where you can discuss your personal life and expectations openly....if no then its time that you pick up the speed


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@faun ....my parents r modern enough to accept any bahu I bring....even we dont follow any of un-necessary customs ...but I am the Favorite among all my relatives...and suddenly they may see me in negative light...I will just compromise to a point like "you celebrate mine and I will celebrate yours" its good for both 

yes she know where i live,people at home,hobbies,distance from dhaka to nagpur  my marrige plans such types

@abhidev I must say muslim girls r bit conservative and wont talk too much openly ...i think I will need third person help here..


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## Extreme Gamer (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

You don't need a third person. Don't make that mistake. Hang out with her more often and become friends.

The law of the land is not an issue- both nations follow secular constitutions, so the law on both nations is on your side. India has a "Special marriages Act" so if a religious ceremony is not possible a registered marriage under the law is possible 

Also, your relatives are never a problem. They have no right to dictate your life. They may not speak to you anymore, but then you don't meet each relative regularly do you? It isn't like you tell them what they should or shouldn't do. Since your parents are quite open apparently, you will not be ostracized.

And do your neighbours at home interact with your family often? If not, then again, no problems. If they do then the interaction might just decrease.

And if you're from Kolkata then I doubt there will be much trouble. This city is usually more tolerant about inter-religious societies.

If anything you should just ask your Islamic colleagues about how you should communicate with women in general without offending them.


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## sujoyp (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@extreme gamer .....Thanks 
I live in nagpur...and there is slight problem if people know...u know bit small city mentality ....but I will be working in other city like pune banglore, kolkata  soo that wont be a problem.


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## Extreme Gamer (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

Are you telling me that people in Nagpur don't like inter-religious marriages? I thought Nagpur was third in tolerance to only Mumbai and Pune? (Shiv Sena and MNS are retards that don't represent the majority)


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## gopi_vbboy (May 24, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

You should try Live in relationship before deciding to marry.


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## Kl@w-24 (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



gopi_vbboy said:


> You should try Live in relationship before deciding to marry.



Don't think that's possible under the circumstances he described.


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## funskar (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> @funskar ....yaah those eklauti bahu dreams are dangerous...but my parents will agree



Yeah .. For eklautas only one n big trouble r eklautis n being eklauta is also beneficial 



sujoyp said:


> I must say muslim girls r bit conservative and wont talk too much openly .



That's not true


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## sujoyp (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@extreme gamer...nagpur is very tolerent in love marriges....no issues ...umm ok Nagpur is more tolerent than many other cities actually 

@funskar ...being eklauta in childhood is fun...u get what u want easily...but after grown up its bit difficult with all hopes and expectations on u


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## vickybat (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



sujoyp said:


> @extreme gamer...nagpur is very tolerent in love marriges....no issues ...umm ok Nagpur is more tolerent than many other cities actually
> 
> @funskar ...being eklauta in childhood is fun...u get what u want easily...but after grown up its bit difficult with all hopes and expectations on u



Sujoy, you will only get more and more confused with so many opinions. I say you better start in your quest asap, after a through background check that is.
Also make some contingency plans as backup. You can also talk to your parents first hand before proceeding. Their opinion should be positive from day one.
Also, you can tell this to the relatives you're the closest. Overall opinion from your family side, excluding your parents should also be positive.  

The more you think before making a plan of action the more confused you'll get. I also somehow support the points made by Faun.
But proceed after everything is ok from your side( family) and hers ( background check). You are smart enough to know what to do and how to proceed mate.


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## KDroid (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

I wish you good luck...


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## icebags (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

me back again 
yah was saying, hindu muslim marriage isn't some thing new, some of people known to me done it already. as long as you and family put religion not before life and don't force religious rituals on each other, i guess it will be fine. and about bangladesh, if sania mirza can marry to pakistan, why sujoyp can't marry to bangladesh ? 

i think you should first make sure the feelings are mutual, and the sense of love is not something like power/position/wealth induced, same goes for your part as well, in our society, marriage is one most important decision in one's life with lifelong impacts. are you ready to take lifelong responsibility of of her etc etc.

how long are you been seeing each other ? if i were at your place i would have given it time, some long time like 6-12 months, to check how things turn out over months.
all the best towards the phase of partner evaluation process.


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## sujoyp (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

Kdroid thanks 

@iceberg I can give time...actually I can buy time...and people will happily keep me in bangladesh ....but it should be worth...at least a relation should pick up before...or else i would be loosing all the happiness of the life for nothing


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## Nanducob (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

OP,I wish you good luck

PS:it would be better if we had a seperate section called 'Love and Relationship'.just my suggestion.


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## sujoyp (May 25, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*

@nanducob....Thanks brother


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## Allu Azad (May 26, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



Nanducob said:


> PS:it would be better if we had a seperate section called 'Love and Relationship'.just my suggestion.




*www.thinkdigit.com/forum/cavern/174211-love-relationship-problems.html


Done ! 
Posted in Cavern so as to escape from lurkers


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## Nanducob (May 26, 2013)

*Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??*



Allu Azad said:


> *www.thinkdigit.com/forum/cavern/174211-love-relationship-problems.html
> 
> 
> Done !
> Posted in Cavern so as to escape from lurkers



v.good


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## digitfan (May 29, 2013)

send me her photo address etc etc. I will investigate the matter and get back to you.


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## Kl@w-24 (May 29, 2013)

digitfan said:


> send me her photo address etc etc. I will investigate the matter and get back to you.



Sherlock Holmes in da haus!


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## Nanducob (May 29, 2013)

digitfan said:


> send me her photo address etc etc. I will investigate the matter and get back to you.



Most helpful member in TDF


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## sujoyp (May 29, 2013)

Thanks digitfan ...but sadly i have to do that myself  

Still looking for a chance  ...y is it soo difficult ....it was much easier before (no marriage in scene)


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## vickybat (May 29, 2013)

^^ 

Believe me, it even more difficult to pull this off than you imagined before. You just have to summon enough courage and continue in your path.
I'm sure you'' reach a positive conclusion.


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## Kl@w-24 (May 29, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> Still looking for a chance  ...y is it soo difficult ....it was much easier before (no marriage in scene)



Just wait till both families get involved. It's a nightmare trying to balance the needs of both sides without appearing to be biased towards either, trust me.


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## sujoyp (May 29, 2013)

@vickybat Thanks ...I too think something positive happens 

@kl@w if both family involved simultaneously then no one can save me


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## digitfan (May 29, 2013)

please find a hot sexy first hand girl for me too i too want to get married.


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## Nanducob (May 29, 2013)

digitfan said:


> please find a hot sexy first hand girl for me too i too want to get married.



Most horniest member of TDF


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## Kl@w-24 (May 29, 2013)

digitfan said:


> please find a hot sexy first hand girl for me too i too want to get married laid.



Fixed.


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## funskar (May 30, 2013)

Kl@w-24 said:


> Fixed.


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## sujoyp (May 30, 2013)

I know this thread is dull now with no activity...but I will post again after my attempt...and it will be very soon


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## Kl@w-24 (May 30, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> I know this thread is dull now with no activity...but I will post again after my attempt...and it will be very soon



All the best, mate.


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## TheHumanBot (May 30, 2013)

you guys should checkout Kazia Noble's: 10 Hook Lead System


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## sujoyp (May 30, 2013)

^^ whats that?


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## funskar (May 30, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> I know this thread is dull now with no activity...but I will post again after my attempt...and it will be very soon



so come sooner btw all the best pra


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## sujoyp (May 30, 2013)

Thanks funskar ....today was my birthday and had a great chance to flirt a bit and talk  didnt miss it ...but nothing serious


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## funskar (May 30, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> Thanks funskar ....today was my birthday and had a great chance to flirt a bit and talk  didnt miss it ...but nothing serious



So you would have taken full advantage of your Buttday

Between Happy belated Buttday


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## vickybat (May 31, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> Thanks funskar ....today was my birthday and had a great chance to flirt a bit and talk  didnt miss it ...but nothing serious



Happy belated birthday sujoy.  I hope you really enjoyed the day.  

Do post your experiences and progress.


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## sujoyp (May 31, 2013)

Thanks funskar and vickybat for the wishes .. funsker u still wished on right day just 5 mins before


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## AcceleratorX (May 31, 2013)

You know, I had a similar thread open in the fight club:

*www.thinkdigit.com/forum/fight-club/173527-inter-religious-relationships-what-your-thoughts.html

Funny how no one responded there. I too have similar concerns and don't know how to proceed, though of course I'm not really into someone just yet but I'm getting signals, so to speak.


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## funskar (May 31, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> funsk*a*r u still wished on right day just 5 mins before



Then give na party re


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## sujoyp (May 31, 2013)

@AcceleratorX    maybe the practical scenario is more interesting then theory  

@funskar yaah party due till we meet someday


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## Faun (Jun 27, 2013)

bump.....5 chars


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## Extreme Gamer (Jun 27, 2013)

Si how did it go sujoy?


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## sujoyp (Jun 27, 2013)

hmm still i couldnt talk to any senior person...they r bit busy with some of there work .

but i am talking to her daily and if she is not dumb enough will get the indication   I just cant go direct way...but interaction increased 

its just too dangerous to go direct ahead in a foreign land


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## Extreme Gamer (Jun 27, 2013)

Why? No mob will pick up Khukris and chase you down the road...just don't let the Muslim League find out


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## icebags (Jun 27, 2013)

walk straight and tall, stand face to face, bow a little, and ask "will u marry me?".

case closed.


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## Kl@w-24 (Jun 27, 2013)

icebags said:


> walk straight and tall, stand face to face, bow a little, and ask "will u marry me?".
> 
> *case closed.*



Probably not with the kind of verdict the OP is looking for, though.


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## sujoyp (Jun 28, 2013)

@extreme gamer ....in case of india , if something like that happens we can hide in hindu areas...in a muslim country I will have no where to hide ...still I am gaining enough confidence and will do something in next 7 days 

@iceberg ....yaah all that I can do but I still fear if the case close with end of friendship or maybe I am deported back to india by my client for bad behaiviour etc ....I am trying my best 

@kl@w  u r right


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## icebags (Jun 29, 2013)

^i don't get that bad behavior part. a mature unmarried person is asking another matured unmarried person of opp sex the permission to marry, whats bad in it *l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/106.gif ? if permission granted, go with it, if denied, accept it and deal with it. i believe its very rational and sane behavior.


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## Faun (Jun 29, 2013)

icebags said:


> ^i don't get that bad behavior part. a mature unmarried person is asking another matured unmarried person of opp sex the permission to marry, whats bad in it *l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/106.gif ? if permission granted, go with it, if denied, accept it and deal with it. i believe its very rational and sane behavior.



You can creep out the girl that way.


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## sujoyp (Jun 29, 2013)

@icebag ...its not as easy as it looks ...once u tell her that u like her and want to marry her ..the relation becomes either engaged or broken ...no single way


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## icebags (Jun 29, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> @icebag ...its not as easy as it looks ...once u tell her that u like her and want to marry her ..the relation becomes either engaged or broken ...no single way





Faun said:


> You can creep out the girl that way.



i think, i am talking about some "mature lady", not some creepy college/school girl. "mature ladies" are supposed to be mature, i mean they should be able to analyze the situation and visualize the outcome. its not that they are never going to get married.

so if its a necessity, why cant it be requested straightforward ? there is always option to agree or deny. a "mature man" should be able to accept whether its a go or a no-go. no ? *l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/102.gif


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## sujoyp (Jun 29, 2013)

ok you maybe right...in case of matured girls...but I assure you this gal is very immature ..and I know that either she will accept happily or wont talk to me again


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## Extreme Gamer (Jun 29, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> ok you maybe right...in case of matured girls...but I assure you* this gal is very immature* ..and I know that either she will accept happily or wont talk to me again



Is that why you like her? Just asking


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## vickybat (Jun 29, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> ok you maybe right...in case of matured girls...but I assure you this gal is very immature ..and I know that either she will accept happily or wont talk to me again



I would like to give one piece of advice here sujoy. Its been quite a while now and i guess you should tell her what you have in mind. The sooner the better.
Since you were the one that got attracted in the first place, its going to be hard on you if something negative in her decision arises.

What i'm trying to say is, you should avoid that post breakup/depression phase at all costs this time. Its either a "Yes" or a "No". 
Just summon courage and go ahead. Don't make her uncomfortable and be as polite as possible. A bit sentimental mood will be perfect.
I guess its time now.


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## icebags (Jun 29, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> ok you maybe right...in case of matured girls...but I assure you this gal is very immature ..and I know that either she will accept happily or wont talk to me again


if direct approach is not possible, then do it in the common indirect way, meet her parents and state the proposal.

i think normally parents don't creep out if they receive marriage proposals for daughters.


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## sujoyp (Jun 29, 2013)

@extreme gamer ....bingo...u r right...her innocence and immaturity I liked most 

@vickybat ....I can understand your point...I will wait just one more week for any helpful soul for advice or will directly approch...lets see 

@iceberg he he he parents dont live here...she lives in PG


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## Faun (Jun 30, 2013)

icebags said:


> i think, i am talking about some "mature lady", not some creepy college/school girl. "mature ladies" are supposed to be mature, i mean they should be able to analyze the situation and visualize the outcome. its not that they are never going to get married.
> 
> so if its a necessity, why cant it be requested straightforward ? there is always option to agree or deny. a "mature man" should be able to accept whether its a go or a no-go. no ? *l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/102.gif



Then be prepared for a 'no' in most of the cases because decisions like this are not made on the spot even by mature standards. But the same no can be converted to 'yes' if you hang out with that person and build a good relationship.


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## icebags (Jun 30, 2013)

Faun said:


> Then be prepared for a 'no' in most of the cases because decisions like this are not made on the spot even by mature standards. But the same no can be converted to 'yes' if you hang out with that person and build a good relationship.


who said decision has to be made on the spot ? the proposed person may start with "lets see", take the proposer details, and start dating if the same is found acceptable. "yes" or "no" may come after.

not all decisions in life can be made in binary codes, but some question are simple if asked directly - saves lots of trouble. isn't it ? 

( to tell the truth, if the answer is an instant NO, then the relationship is absolutely a no-go. )


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## sujoyp (Jun 30, 2013)

iceberg ...I am not ready to hear a NO that instant...a lets see or will think about it is a much better answer ...just like HR in companies do ...they say " we will consider your profile and will call you soon"


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## sujoyp (Jul 7, 2013)

ok soo at last today I talked with a good guy who explained me about there culture and rules.

Soo according to him its not possible to convert any muslim girl/boy to hindu or you can say to marry that girl the only way here is to convert to muslim..
And he says in that case I will have to live my parents and others forever coz they r hindu and live like a muslim .

ok soo this was something I was already mentally prepared to come...this is the general rule all muslim religion follow.. i know.

hmm but this way my plan failed badly..and I have no plan to leave anyone for a so-called-love.

I have just one more person who may help...he is bit modern..and he married a russian girl ...lets see


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## icebags (Jul 7, 2013)

u r trying to register the marriage in BD or in India ?


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## Faun (Jul 7, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> I have just one more person who may help...he is bit *modern*..and he married a russian girl ...lets see



Marrying Russian girl doesn't add weight to that.

Life is about compromises. You got to choose.


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## Extreme Gamer (Jul 7, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> ok soo at last today I talked with a good guy who explained me about there culture and rules.
> 
> Soo according to him its not possible to convert any muslim girl/boy to hindu or you can say to marry that girl the only way here is to convert to muslim..
> And he says in that case I will have to live my parents and others forever coz they r hindu and live like a muslim .
> ...



Just try as soon as you feel comfortable. Have you ever met her parents (maybe to commend her performance as your employee or something)?

Mentally prepare for the cliched no, but do not think it can never happen. Just don't push her for a relationship right after a no. Go it slow if there is a no.

Given how her parents live away from her it is possible that they are relatively modern given how conservative most South Asian Muslims tend to be.

Don't start with a "will you marry me." That will turn off many people. Tell her that you like her and that you would want to take the relationship further.


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## sujoyp (Jul 7, 2013)

@icebag...I will register in India

@faun  but he is a bit modern guy...I am sure 

@gamer i am going as softly and slowly as i can..but time is running away


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## damngoodman999 (Jul 7, 2013)

SUJOYP

Since u got feels for her, nothing should concerns you! cause u cannot push the feeling either you get mad (or) end up bad, even i too fixed my marriage after long struggle anyway its inside INDIA only , but where ever it is LOVE is LOVE, if u have guts go for it. "Happiness doesn't come at easy cost,  but its worth it" you ll realize it, when you marry the same gal.


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## icebags (Jul 8, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> @icebag...I will register in India



then there is no need to convert, inter religion marriage is ok here. but i am not sure if u need to convert if register in BD.

u have to fix this thing by talking with bride party, see what they want.


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## sujoyp (Jul 8, 2013)

@damngoodman999 yaah ...it is a feel of satisfaction ...I can do anything except leaving my dear parents..they are my living gods...( I really dont belive in those stone murties in temples)

@icebags..lets see what happens..nothing is a sure way


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## Extreme Gamer (Jul 8, 2013)

Inter-religion marriage is OK in Bangladesh too. It's more of a community acceptance thing (which can also be a concern in India).

Sujoy, you don't know until you ask her.

Don't waste any more time. Ask when you think the right atmosphere is there.

I get a slight feeling that you're actually trolling us and seeing how we respond to such a thread and don't really have a crush or anything on a BD girl  (Okay, I'm just messing with ya in this part )


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## sujoyp (Jul 8, 2013)

@Extreme Gamer no bro I really want to marry her...its ok if no one responds here...I will just close the thread thats it ...but I am really finding it difficult to manage things here...there r many things against me
1. Being Hindu
2. Being Indian
3. people may think I will start a relation and run away
4. Bad mouth about Indians coz of too many rape cases in news
5. these guys do not wait a sec after office and run straight back to home...uff its difficult to catch her for a talk.
6. Some kattarwadi people may beat me coz of talking .

its not soo easy


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## icebags (Jul 8, 2013)

we know u are thinking about her all the time, and desperately longing to finalise the marriage, but do us a favour, if, in case, despite the best efforts, result comes out zero, don't do anything in haste, try to face it like a man and look forward toward a new beginning.

its not worth loosing everything before a relationship is even started. *e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/salute.gif


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## sujoyp (Jul 9, 2013)

icebags u r absolutely right ....and no i am not taking any decesions in haste....i have never been soo cool like i am this time 

btw i got a nice news from her that she wants to come to India for MBA after april ...soo god have given me a fare chance to help her and in india everything is easier 
=========================================================================
aah another chance failed   that other sir says its a personal matter and you have to talk directly ...now I will have to rethink again


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## vickybat (Jul 12, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> aah another chance failed   that other sir says its a personal matter and you have to talk directly ...now I will have to rethink again



Who's this "other sir" sujoy ?


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## sujoyp (Jul 12, 2013)

@vickybat they are the people who are bit libral and may help me

I think its nearly impossible now...I will just have some patience and wait for right time to tell her


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## vickybat (Jul 13, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> @vickybat they are the people who are bit libral and may help me
> 
> I think its nearly impossible now...I will just have some patience and wait for right time to tell her



Hmm i see. I don't think its wise to keep delaying and think the right time would just arrive. The time will be right when you want it to be.
Weekends will be perfect. Just plan some short outing ( figure something out) and tell her what you have in mind. This way, i don't think you'll land in any trouble.


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## sujoyp (Jul 13, 2013)

problem is I have support of just no one back in family...mom dad are just ok but not much enthusiastic, cousin sisters says No , other family members although are not much important but will create problems...
still I have just enough motivation left (after all demotivating thoughts by people of bangladesh and family in india) that I may just try one last time.
I am looking for a new job in India and as soon as I get one I will tell her all I think.. untill that will wait (will have 1 months notice period here after resigning) ...


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## Renny (Jul 13, 2013)

Hindu woman marries a muslim guy = The Hindu must convert, else the marriage is not recognized for muslims.
Hindu man marries a muslim girl = The Hindu must convert, else the marriage is not recognized for muslims.

This is what happens MOST of the times in a Hindu-muslim marriage, and this is something I cannot accept. 
Why can't it be the other way round?
Why not give importance to the relationship/love between the two people, instead of bringing in conversion into it?

@Sujoy - Please take time to think things through, you may now be very happy and blissful since you're in love, but RELIGION will crop up and complicate things (Like what religion your kids will follow etc.)


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## vickybat (Jul 13, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> problem is I have support of just no one back in family...mom dad are just ok but not much enthusiastic, cousin sisters says No , other family members although are not much important but will create problems...
> still I have just enough motivation left (after all demotivating thoughts by people of bangladesh and family in india) that I may just try one last time.
> I am looking for a new job in India and as soon as I get one I will tell her all I think.. untill that will wait (will have 1 months notice period here after resigning) ...



Sujoy, i don't think your parents or relatives will allow you to convert. Things will become far too complicated before you realize.
I can absolutely understand your feelings, but there are some rules. Even if she says "Yes", what would you plan to do thereafter? 

You're even saying your parents aren't that enthusiastic about this. They just want you to be happy.
I think you should consider everything.


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## Extreme Gamer (Jul 13, 2013)

**** the rules. First ask her. All the problems can be dealt with after that.

Why worry about problems before they happen. It's funny how the girl in question is completely aloof about what is going on...

Give me her email address. I will send this thread to her 



Spoiler



I'm joking about the email address bit.


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## sujoyp (Jul 13, 2013)

@renny I discussed that thing in detail and in muslim religion conversion is totally prohibited....trying may lead to loss of life (as per rule)
I have considered everything...and I have clearly told them that conversion is out of question...in no case its possible 
I maybe bit nastik and dont belive in god too much but my parents r my gods and conversion may just lead to a permanent separation from them.

@vickybat ...I can live with no religion or both religion togather...that was the plan 

@extremegamer ...I will ask her very soon...and that will be the either end of story of a new start


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## vickybat (Jul 13, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> @vickybat ...I can live with no religion or both religion together...that was the plan



Wait I didn't get this mate. I guess you're saying that you won't convert and her conversion is out of question, because of her being a Muslim.
So what's the problem if either of you don't convert and live together?
According to me, everything boils down to her reply, isn't it? What's her body language like? You should have gotten some hints by now as its been a while.


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## Extreme Gamer (Jul 13, 2013)

vickybat said:


> Wait I didn't get this mate. I guess you're saying that you won't convert and her conversion is out of question, because of her being a Muslim.
> So what's the problem if either of you don't convert and live together?
> According to me, everything boils down to her reply, isn't it? What's her body language like? You should have gotten some hints by now as its been a while.



I think he already said he's worried about relatives from either side and society at large causing trouble for the newlyweds.
EDIT: Before telling me that they're unmarried, do note that I'm talking about scenario that can occur after marriage in case she accepts his proposal.


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## sujoyp (Jul 14, 2013)

@vickybat   ...if i was in US or europe I would have done what I think was correct...but sadly we live in a country where people love to interfere in others life and even dont mind spoiling it totally.. soo I will take steps cautiously ....I told you guys before that I will tell her before living bangladesh as soon as i get a new job
she wants to come to india for studies and job soo i can help her in that


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## Extreme Gamer (Aug 17, 2013)

Sooo....what happened Sujoy?


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## ashs1 (Aug 17, 2013)

vickybat said:


> According to me, everything boils down to her reply, isn't it? What's her body language like? You should have gotten some hints by now as its been a while.



^this !! i've been wondering if she's interested in you too or not.

have you asked her yet ?? what was her response ?? 

#bestofluck


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## sujoyp (Aug 17, 2013)

Thanks guys for asking 

Actually as I told u guys that I took advice of some liberal guys here...but it seems they all were not that liberal as they seems...somebody told the girl everything and also advised her to keep away from me  ...and she unfriend me from skype, facebook and stopped talking to me.
when I tried to talk she answered in one liners ...I wanted support of someone but got something totally opposite...Now nothing could be done

initially I was very angry ..coz without even saying anything I lost...but then I saw everyone in my life happy with it...my family, sisters, friends, colleagues ....

Thank you all for supporting me for soo long...I dont feel like living in bangladesh anymore and will come back in 2-3 months..



And seriously speaking I am not feeling like a looser but I think the girl will be the bigger looser......her bad luck  ....a lost opportunity to see the huge world outside there small city..


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## Kl@w-24 (Aug 17, 2013)

^ Everything happens for a reason. You'll find someone better (and not as controversial). Chin up.


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## Allu Azad (Aug 17, 2013)

WTF !!! This is just disappointing and sad !


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## sujoyp (Aug 17, 2013)

Thanks klaw 

@allu azad ....its ok ....I took the chance of including a middleman and failed ....but its true I couldnt have made it directly...I had to take the help of someone...it was risk ...

What shocked me was rather then at least waiting till I confess something she straightly unfriend me and stopped talking ....I would have helped her anyways in any case....


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## axes2t2 (Aug 17, 2013)

You also do the same.


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## sujoyp (Aug 17, 2013)

axes2t2 ....yup after I came to know that she unfriend me I didnt even tried to look at her nor talked to her..its been a month now ....but all these things will just make things uneasy ....better is I just move back to India and enjoy my life


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## abhidev (Aug 18, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> Thanks guys for asking
> 
> Actually as I told u guys that I took advice of some liberal guys here...but it seems they all were not that liberal as they seems...somebody told the girl everything and also advised her to keep away from me  ...and she unfriend me from skype, facebook and stopped talking to me.
> when I tried to talk she answered in one liners ...I wanted support of someone but got something totally opposite...Now nothing could be done
> ...



Ohhh man!!! Sorry to hear that...So did you tell her or not??


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## funskar (Aug 18, 2013)

Sujoy @

Pyaar me Dhoka mila re


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## Extreme Gamer (Aug 18, 2013)

You know, I kinda expected such an anticlimatic result. Given how Sujoy was such a wimp about it, talking to too many people instead of asking her, there was a high probability of this happening.

All in all, it's  just tough luck for you Sujoy, and it's not as bad as you thought it would be. I don't see a super-emotional version of you or anything, lol.

In the end it turns out you just had a crush on/obsession for her, and not "true love" as people would put it 

In other words, you're actually lucky. I'm surprised you didn't consult Suhel Seth or something before asking us, lol


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## pranav0091 (Aug 18, 2013)

I'll tell you what Sujoy. A no is often not a NO when it comes to girls. Not even a direct NO is a NO 
I know that from personal experience. Patience. More patience, and then some more. 

I haven't got the time to read out the whole thread, but from the little I read I dint find anything where the girl said yes... And this is all happening FAR TOO FAST if you ask me. A lady has to be given more time. Much more time than a couple of months. One shouldn't even be thing of going for the YES or NO question atleast until say you are good friends for something like half a year or so. And marriage is even further from that, say like atleast 6 more months after a yes. You need to know the person better. Infatuation might die out but you need to know if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with this person. Its not a simple matter of 'liking'

Unfriending from FB is no big deal. If the girl sits right next to you like you said, whats this FB anyways?
It seems to me that your 'enquiries' didnt do much good. If you ask me that was a bad idea right from the start. If there is one rule in things like these, its to talk for yourself. Never, NEVER ever let anyone else do the talking for you. Thats what happened here. Even if you are going to stand infront of her and just grin like a mad dog, do ti yourself.

You know what, if you are done then I wish you the best in life. Plenty of fish in the ocean. Of all types and shapes and colors 

I am much younger than you, but if anything I am proud that you always had your parents in sight. It was heartwarming to see that you never lost sight of them. They are lucky to have a son like you and you're already a better person than a lot of us. You'll be alright.

If you haven't really gotten over her, just putting up a show - you know , being a man and stuff like that, then walk upto her cube and call out her by name and tell her "I am sorry. I know why you unfriended me on FB. I wish to apologise... I dont know what has been told about me, but I am sorry anyways. I wish I could have talked to you myself, rather than somebody else warning you about me. I am sorry" Then stammer for a moment or two and say "I just liked you..." all while looking her in the eye. Then walk off back to your cube. Thats the best you can do, if you haven't already.
No, thats not your number, thats you praying that she forgives you. And DONT do that in the office when everybody else is around. She must have an atmosphere that'd let her shout at you if she so wishes. And I'll tell you this, if she shouts at you, you're doing well.

In addition to all of that, I endorse ajayritik, Faun and Klaw's comments from the first page for anyone else in this rather sticky situation.

But then again I shouldnt dig this matter up if its dead. Just hoping this might be of some use to some poor soul lost in the mysterious ways of love 

Edit: Extremegamer, Klaw and Faun should be given awards 
Especially post 36. Couldnt have put it better myself.


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## Extreme Gamer (Aug 18, 2013)

pranav0091 said:


> Edit: Extremegamer, Klaw and Faun should be given awards
> Especially post 36. Couldnt have put it better myself.



I'll settle for an operation payback pass (for CS: GO)


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## Faun (Aug 18, 2013)

Kl@w-24 said:


> ^ Everything happens for a reason. You'll find someone better (and not as controversial). Chin up.



Naah, man. What are you talking ? Come to think of it the solitude is no less better than that.


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## axes2t2 (Aug 18, 2013)

pranav0091 said:


> If you haven't really gotten over her, just putting up a show - you know , being a man and stuff like that, then walk upto her cube and call out her by name and tell her "I am sorry. I know why you unfriended me on FB. I wish to apologise... I dont know what has been told about me, but I am sorry anyways. I wish I could have talked to you myself, rather than somebody else warning you about me. I am sorry" Then stammer for a moment or two and say "I just liked you..." all while looking her in the eye. Then walk off back to your cube. Thats the best you can do, if you haven't already.No, thats not your number, thats you praying that she forgives you. And DONT do that in the office when everybody else is around. She must have an atmosphere that'd let her shout at you if she so wishes. And I'll tell you this, if she shouts at you, you're doing well.



Oh please.

I hope you are not serious about this.


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## sujoyp (Aug 18, 2013)

@abhidev ...no I couldnt tell her...even before that I think someone told her everything and now our eyes dont meet at all

@funsker  ...not pyaar me dhoka ...but a mission impossible which I tried to make possible , failed.

@Extreme Gamer the day I found out that she unfriend me and stopped talking...surprisingly I got very angry inside...till date I may have failed love affairs but no one have ever unfriend me...I am one of those cool friendly n helpful guy...it hurt me even more then any breakup and all the emotions for her absolutely vanished in minutes.
btw who suhel seth?

@pranav ....thanks for advices ....ooh if u read the thread ....it was just not possible to approach directly...and yes I want my parents support and want them to feel happy for there only child.
I can not say sorry to her...how would i know what the other person have told her...

@faun I have already told mom to just look for a girl with a certain specifications and likings  and she has started searching ...this was my last (mis)adventure


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## pranav0091 (Aug 18, 2013)

axes2t2 said:


> Oh please.
> 
> I hope you are not serious about this.



I suppose you have better ideas then ?
May sound a bit cheesy to you, being a boy, but sure as hell these things work wonders.



sujoyp said:


> @pranav ....thanks for advices ....ooh if u read the thread ....it was just not possible to approach directly...and yes I want my parents support and want them to feel happy for there only child.
> I can not say sorry to her...how would i know what the other person have told her...



Actually, I guess you should apologize precisely because you dont know what the other person told her. It doesn't hurt to come out of this like the gentleman you are


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## sujoyp (Aug 18, 2013)

ok pranav I will try this if I get a chance ...at least I will say sorry for any misunderstanding


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## pranav0091 (Aug 18, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> ok pranav I will try this if I get a chance ...at least I will say sorry for any misunderstanding



Yeah, avoid the cheesy parts, now that this is all done and dusted. Just let her know you're sorry about the way things turned out. And about those pics you took of her, return them if you dont mind. You'll be better off without looking at them. I dont know you personally, but you sound like a good person Sujoy, why let some girl think otherwise of you?


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## Faun (Aug 18, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> ok pranav I will try this if I get a chance ...at least I will say sorry for any misunderstanding



A little hope and persistence can also move mountains.


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## Nanducob (Aug 18, 2013)

I hate when things end like this.I think she friendzoned you in the first place and you misinterpreted it as love?


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## sujoyp (Aug 18, 2013)

@pranav ...Anyway I will be living here (bangladesh) for just max 3 months more....then I am gone forever (back to india) 

@faun I have no hope left...and I am still angry for unfriending me even without me saying a word ...

@nanducob you are wrong...look my family is looking for a bride ...and i thought she will be perfect...and I liked her....I was not kidnapping her or troubling her to accept me....but she dont have to unfriend me...just a "No" would have done without any harm....and I would still helped her like I did before...now things got sour


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## axes2t2 (Aug 18, 2013)

Is there no other girls you talk/have fun with ?


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## dan4u (Aug 18, 2013)

@sujoyp you did say she was immature and a bit childish, and if she found out your true intentions, she might unfriend or stop talking to you in a haste...that's exactly what happened. but she didn't hear it from you, she heard it from someone else right? that person must have said things out of proportion or things that are untrue, ....just *talk *to her and let her know exactly how you feel. Talk, no sms,fb, whatsapp ....


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## abhidev (Aug 18, 2013)

dan4u said:


> @sujoyp you did say she was immature and a bit childish, and if she found out your true intentions, she might unfriend or stop talking to you in a haste...that's exactly what happened. but she didn't hear it from you, she heard it from someone else right? that person must have said things out of proportion or things that are untrue, ....just *talk *to her and let her know exactly how you feel. Talk, no sms,fb, whatsapp ....



+1 ... you may never know if things turn out in your favor after talking to her... Anyways you are here for only 3 months... Why waste a chance to clear your image


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## sujoyp (Aug 18, 2013)

@ axes2t2 ...bro its bangladesh...they are not soo open...bit conservative...it took me lot of time to just become friends...fun is just not possible

@dan4u and abhidev .....ok I will try to talk to her...I actually dont feel like giving importance to somebody completely ignoring me...


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## vickybat (Aug 18, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> @ axes2t2 ...bro its bangladesh...they are not soo open...bit conservative...it took me lot of time to just become friends...fun is just not possible
> 
> @dan4u and abhidev .....ok I will try to talk to her...I actually dont feel like giving importance to somebody completely ignoring me...



Sujoy, there was a reason why all this happened. This relationship had a lot of loose ends right from the beginning. Besides you parents just supported this coz of you and not from within.
Society would have always posed a problem if it had worked out.

I suggest, finish your work and get out of there asap. The sooner, the better. I'm sure you'll find someone way better back here in India allowing you to raise your neck like a boss in society.
I'm glad you actually feel angry after her actions. This way, depression will never get you.


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## axes2t2 (Aug 18, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> @ axes2t2 ...bro its bangladesh...they are not soo open...bit conservative...it took me lot of time to just become friends...fun is just not possible



Ya,good point.forgot about that.

Here is a simple solution.

Girls over react like this (deleting number,unfriending etc).

Forget about her or any girl for that matter.Focus on your work and in the free time hang out with your close friends to pass time.

Or even better join a gym.


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## sujoyp (Aug 18, 2013)

@vickybat ...u are absolutely correct ...I liked her soo tried all this...I knew its nearly impossible and a single mistake may make big blunders...anyways my parents are happy that uska bhoot sir se utar gaya  and now looking for a suitable match 

@axes2t2 yup will just come back in 2-3 months and concentrate on photography and career for now  in india I was soo lost in photography that I didnt feel like this for last 3 years after my breakup...but here I have free time and free mind 

gym is not good here...i checked just yesterday...will read some good books which i bought "why Men lie and women cry" , "revolution 2020", "what young India wants" and "women and men in my life by khushwant singh"


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## Faun (Aug 18, 2013)

@sujoyp

Yeah, when you live alone away from home then things like these can happen. I remember my first time being away from home alone.

But now away from country and pretty much independent.


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## ashs1 (Aug 18, 2013)

have pretty much zero experience in these matters, so i'll just say this : 

I am glad you're not obsessed with her & have taken things positively rather than getting sad & depressed . I hope you do find your true soul mate asap ! 

#Goodluck !


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## sujoyp (Aug 18, 2013)

@faun Its not my 1st time out...I have been 3 years out before too  still yes when u r lonely u fell sooner 

@ashs I am not obsessed coz I have past experienced in these matter  thanks for wishes


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## funskar (Aug 19, 2013)

*


sujoyp said:



			I have already told mom to just look for a girl with a certain specifications and likings  and she has started searching .. 

Click to expand...

*I hope your mom finds the girls asap for you ...
Also don't forget to invite us on your marriage


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## sujoyp (Aug 19, 2013)

@funsker .... Theek hai    yaah sure..but it will take another 4-5 months


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## icebags (Aug 19, 2013)

so, it came to an end at last.  the climax was a bit sadistic, but not too unexpected, given the circumstances. anyways, take it like a man, and move ahead, man. things got clear before the relation started, u should be thankful for it.

if u r still feeling depressed, try joining bf3 thread, there r a lots of guys to kill with stuff.


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## Faun (Aug 19, 2013)

sadistic...huh ?


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## Extreme Gamer (Aug 20, 2013)

Faun said:


> sadistic...huh ?



I was thinking the same as you. Maybe he meant anti-climatic.


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## icebags (Aug 20, 2013)

^ well, op had a lot of expectations, and none of them got fulfilled.


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## sujoyp (Aug 20, 2013)

icebags u r partly correct ....yes it always feel sad when u determine to get something and think about it all the time....but sometimes with time these desires fade away naturally....and it dosent hurt soo much afterall


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## abhidev (Aug 20, 2013)

To be honest... I think you gave up to soon... Maybe coz it was just infatuation... Good thing is you got over it.... Kudos!!!


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## rhitwick (Aug 20, 2013)

Good...


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## sujoyp (Aug 20, 2013)

@ abhidev



> To be honest... I think you have up to soon.


 eeh now dont say that....i will start feeling guilty


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## Faun (Aug 20, 2013)

rhitwick said:


> Good...



*www.thinkdigit.com/forum/customavatars/avatar870_6.gif


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## abhidev (Aug 20, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> @ abhidev
> 
> 
> eeh now dont say that....i will start feeling guilty



hehehee...don't worry...u r lucky to not become a Devdas after all this   ...get married to an Indian girl and get yourself free from other inter-religion hassles


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## Zangetsu (Aug 20, 2013)

abhidev said:


> hehehee...don't worry...u r lucky to not become a Devdas after all this   ...get married to an *Indian girl *and get yourself free from other inter-religion hassles



ahem...Indian girl is better than any other girl in the world


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## abhidev (Aug 20, 2013)

Zangetsu said:


> ahem...Indian girl is better than any other girl in the world



True that


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## sujoyp (Aug 20, 2013)

I would love to have a imported girl as wife   but desi girl is best


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## icebags (Aug 20, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> I would love to have a imported girl as wife   but desi girl is best


ok. try some other no so conservative country this time, europe or so. *l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/15.gif


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## funskar (Aug 21, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> [I would love to have a imported girl as wife



Then why don't you try out sunny leone ka swaymwar


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## sujoyp (Aug 21, 2013)

@funskar LOL    after that again will have to open a new thread here...how to hide her from the hungry eyes 

@icebags ...yaah ur idea is nice...lets see .. I have some photography friends from italy, US


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## Extreme Gamer (Aug 21, 2013)

funskar said:


> Then why don't you try out sunny leone ka swaymwar


I thought that it was common knowledge that she is a married woman?


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## icebags (Aug 21, 2013)

sujoyp said:


> @funskar LOL    after that again will have to open a new thread here...how to hide her from the hungry eyes
> 
> @icebags ...yaah ur idea is nice...lets see .. I have some photography friends from italy, US



wait, u're not going to mail them ur shadi[]profile, r u ? *l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/13.gif


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