# Interview at Infosys [Joke ]



## DigitalImmigrant (Jun 16, 2007)

*Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.*

Candidate: I am Kondesh Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

*Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!*

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I cannot invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

*Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.*

Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know , these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments..It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

*Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.*

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

*Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.*

Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

*Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?*

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative ..

*Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?*

Candidate: He he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!! 

*Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?*

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

*Interviewer: And which languages have you used?*

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages. 

*Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?*

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD! 

*Interviewer : Do you know anything about Assembly Language?*

Candidate : Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

*Interviewer: What is your general project experience?*

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

*Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?*

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

*Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?*

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'versioncontrol', 'deadlines', 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes! 

*Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?*

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007,I don't mind going there in that period . As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

*Interviewer: He he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. ) We look forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys *


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## medigit (Jun 16, 2007)

is this real....


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## sachin_kothari (Jun 16, 2007)

i got this email 2 years back.
dont know if its true.


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## fun2sh (Jun 16, 2007)

my gaaaaaaaaaaaawd if its true THEN MAIN BE PADH KAR KYA KARUNGA. ISE TO AISE HI NAUKARI MIL GAYI AUR MAIN YAHAN ENGG ME ROJ APAN DIMAG KHAPATA HUN.


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## BBThumbHealer (Jun 16, 2007)

overall gud but this seemed strange ... 



			
				DigitalImmigrant said:
			
		

> *Interviewer: He he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. ) We look forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys *



how can they do this ??   



			
				fun2sh said:
			
		

> my gaaaaaaaaaaaawd if its true THEN MAIN BE PADH KAR KYA KARUNGA. ISE TO AISE HI NAUKARI MIL GAYI AUR MAIN YAHAN ENGG ME ROJ APAN DIMAG KHAPATA HUN.



then y don't u go ahead ?  .... make this man ur idol !


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## sachin_kothari (Jun 16, 2007)

^^ first need to check if its true.
and if it is i am also in the line


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## Quiz_Master (Jun 16, 2007)

It can't be real.
But ofcourse its hilarious.

"Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!"

And this one 

"Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!"
_____________
Actuallly every sinhle bit was hilarious. Amazing. U made my day.


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## Lucky_star (Jun 16, 2007)

ROFL 



			
				medigit said:
			
		

> is this real....


 Infosys has more than 70,000 people working worldwide. If they take people like this, then soon it will be the global leader in IT.

If Infy ever asked questions like this, then no student would ever think of anythng else.


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## i_am_crack (Jun 16, 2007)

Kool to read on saturday...


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## vish786 (Jun 16, 2007)

*is this stuff real... @author of this thread *


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## Apollo (Jun 16, 2007)

BlackBerry7100g said:
			
		

> how can they do this ??


Last year, an undergrad-engineer friend of mine was picked up by TCS via campus recruitments. He had listed studying the share market as one of his hobbies under his resume, and the only question he was asked in the PI was to state the previous day's share price of TCS. He got the job.


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## iMav (Jun 16, 2007)

BlackBerry7100g said:
			
		

> how can they do this ??


 if this was campus recruitment i am not surprised that the guy was hired coz as it is first 2 years they make u do nothing and ur just having fun and some time spent on training other than that its all time pass no work at infy and tcs


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## Lucky_star (Jun 16, 2007)

iMav said:
			
		

> if this was campus recruitment i am not surprised that the guy was hired coz *as it is first 2 years they make u do nothing and ur just having fun and some time spent on training other than that its all time pass no work at infy and tcs *


Who said you that?


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## iMav (Jun 16, 2007)

every 1 of my friends who have been employed there last year and the yr before that

and all my cousin's friend who got recruited there last year and before that


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## Lucky_star (Jun 16, 2007)

^^^Is it? Yippppeeee
Actually I got selected in Tcs this year, and as far as I know, the job is somwhat difficult for the first 2 years, as they make freshers to do heavy job.
iMav, thanks for the info you gave


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## iMav (Jun 16, 2007)

man my aggregate wasnt sufficient so wasnt eligible but from what every 1has told me that the first 2 years of training are fun but if theres some project that springs up they might turn towards u but infy toh im sure its fun tcs only 2 guys have given me feedback ... infy bahut log hain


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## sandeepk (Jun 16, 2007)

This one is old but still good!!!


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## praka123 (Jun 16, 2007)

Isnt this the reason one man some  "subramanya" got ditched off from Infy.i remember reading "skit" made by this infosys employee criticizing how infy newbies waiting for job there as "benchies"


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## aryayush (Jun 16, 2007)

Why are so many people wondering whether this is real or not! Do you need someone to confirm it to you that it is just a (very poor) joke!


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## Pathik (Jun 16, 2007)

^^ if that s the case then i am ready to confirm it  ... Its a poor joke...


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## Tech.Masti (Jun 16, 2007)

^^ yah ,Its just a joke


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## praka123 (Jun 16, 2007)

but then why these companies taking B.Sc grads too even from normal colleges for eg; in kerala.


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## iMav (Jun 16, 2007)

well the main reason for companies like tcs and infy for hiring 10k+ recruits every yr is so tht they do not have man shortage which is considered to be the biggest road block for any company .... now things have changed skilled man power available is scarce hence these ppl recruit any 1 ....

extc engg are hired by tcs and infy wat more can 1 say .... besides everything tht u r supposed to do thr u r trained for so its no big deal for them

now these guys know tht out of 10k+ a lot will leave so the next yr agan 10k+


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## Quiz_Master (Jun 16, 2007)

A little offtopic but I found this in my mail. Really Funny.


Why student fails in exam??????? 

It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails, Because the year has an 'ONLY 365' days. 

Typical academic year for a student. 

1. Sundays- 52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days. 

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days. 

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days. Balance 141 days. 

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days. Balance 126 days. 

5. Two hours daily for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat)-means 30days. Balance 96 days. 

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days . Balance 81 days. 

7. Exam days per year at least 35 days. Balance 46 days. 

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days. 

9. For sickness at least 3 days. Balance 3 days. 

10. Movies and functions at least 2 days. Balance 1 day. 

11. That 1 day is your birthday. 

"How can a student pass????"


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## Tech.Masti (Jun 17, 2007)

^^^ 
already posted here sometime before, but yes its really funny


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## fun2sh (Jun 17, 2007)

every1 knows its a poor joke but its more fun in belivin it to be real


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## blueshift (Jun 17, 2007)

Good one. lol


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## ashu888ashu888 (Mar 5, 2008)

Awesome dude, forget abt its identity being real or fake, I loved it 

Edit: im a 4th year I.T Engg Student, from Mumbai 

Cheers n e-peace..


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## NucleusKore (Mar 5, 2008)

I thought the training period was for six months and not two years


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## Faun (Mar 5, 2008)

now infy can kick u out within first 12 months, thats wat call letter says in my college


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## ::cyborg:: (Mar 5, 2008)

in our college campus recruitment HR was beaten by my friend a sikh jat guy of my class because the HR said that what do u do if i  was found  hving sex with ur mother

hr was beaten so badly that his nose was bleeding and he my friend was abusing him so badly 

 LOLZ


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## esumitkumar (Mar 5, 2008)

lemme clear all of ur doubts ..(been two yrs in Infy and now Im in TCS) :

** that above was a JOKE..good one  

** that bench part is true but u shud pursue ur HR to give some project ...he/she will definitely give

** that subramaniam part is true ..he was fired as he was making mockery of infy ad recruiting campaign...

** Infy training is one of the hardest in industry..for non comp engg graduates trng is 3.5 mnths..for comp engg its 1.5 mnths ...they teach u everything frm C,oracle,java,unix etc..thr r regular online tests(every two days) n projects..to pass u have to get 65 out of 100 else u r thrown out..so its not a joke ..njoying n masti in TRNG ! 

** as told by my TCS frnz, TCS fresher trng is somewhat easier..no online tests..no throwing out..2 mnths full masti fr everyone ...

** they r taking Bsc graduates cuz industry is facing shortage of good ppl..have u ever read in ET ..over 70% of engg graduates r unemployable ...also Bsc ppl will take less salary than enggs ...so ...

I guess that clear all the doubts


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## amol48 (Mar 5, 2008)

medigit said:


> is this real....



lol this was bigger joke than the original post  ....


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## raksrules (Mar 5, 2008)

esumitkumar said:


> lemme clear all of ur doubts ..(been two yrs in Infy and now Im in TCS) :
> 
> ** that above was a JOKE..good one
> 
> ...



+1 (In Infy for last 2.5 Years)
Yes the training is class apart. 
The Campus awesome.
Before being thrown out they will give you sufficient time and tests to save yourselves.
The training for a IT/CS/CE student is about 2 months and for a Non-IT/CS/CE students its 4 months.
Bsc people are being recruited by Infy but they are at a lower level than engg graduates. They are Junior Software Engineers and need to clear a tough test before being promoted to Software Engineer Role.


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## genxguy (Mar 5, 2008)

Awesome


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## Rahim (Mar 5, 2008)

DigitalImmigrant said:


> *Interviewer: And which languages have you used?*
> 
> Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.


This line takes my goat


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## legolas (Mar 5, 2008)

rahimveron said:


> DigitalImmigrant said:
> 
> 
> > By the way, I *can keep quiet* in German, French, Russian and many other languages.
> ...


Very true.. fc!kin hiliarious and awesome presence of mind!!


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## nileshgr (Mar 6, 2008)

BlackBerry7100g said:


> overall gud but this seemed strange ...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


They do this. There is another joke like this.



> Interviewer(I): What brought you here ?
> Candidate(C): The 10 O'Clock Train
> 
> I: What games do you play ?
> ...



The above one is true. It happened in the south when my GrandFather was working!



BlackBerry7100g said:


> overall gud but this seemed strange ...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


They do this. There is another joke like this.



> Interviewer(I): What brought you here ?
> Candidate(C): The 10 O'Clock Train
> 
> I: What games do you play ?
> ...


The above one is true. It happened in the south when my GrandFather was working!


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## praka123 (Mar 6, 2008)

does any IT company offers pension?
afaik Infosys gives.though u have to work there for 3 yrs or so.  correct me ,If I am wrong


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## __Virus__ (Mar 6, 2008)

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages

Hahahahaha


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