# Poor Jokes Thread



## rezurect007 (Feb 22, 2012)

PJ's anyone:

Collection of some of the most pathetic poor jokes

Q.What's a PJ ?
Answer: Obviously "a poor joke"
Question: What's a (P + i J)?
Answer: "complex poor joke"
But why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ? 

A. Because the joke part of it is imaginary.

Q.What did one elephant comment when a she-elephant passed by a group of elephants?

A.3600-2400-3600

Q. You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette.
You don't have anything else with you in the boat? 
How will you do it? 

A.Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette.
Another deadly answer:
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette 


Q. A railway station beggar meets another beggar. A software engineer meets another software engineer. 
Both of them ask the same question to each other. 
What is the question? 

A."So, which platform are you working on?"

Q: What happened to the fireproof, unbreakable, shockproof, waterproof watch?
A: I lost it. 

What is height of Suicide? 
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

What is height of De-hydration? 
A cow giving milk powder.


----------



## Alok (Feb 22, 2012)

Knock, knock....


----------



## rezurect007 (Feb 22, 2012)

Kola2842 said:


> Knock, knock....



Whose there?


----------



## patrick4 (Feb 22, 2012)

^^ whos there?


----------



## Shah (Feb 22, 2012)

Q: Why the kela(banana) is very sad?
A: Because it is a-kela(alone)


----------



## rajeevk (Feb 22, 2012)

*Another PJ*:
Q: What is height of Fashion?
A: Dhoti with a zip.


----------



## Siddhartha_t69 (Feb 23, 2012)

A lady teacher in  a primary school:
teacher: Kids, What does a chicken give you?
derp: Eggs
teacher: Good children. What does a fat pig give you?
derp:Becon
teacher: Very Good derp, What doea a fat cow give you?
derp: Homeworks.


----------



## axes2t2 (Feb 23, 2012)

What did the cat say when the girl slipped ?

Meow-Meow....aur kya bolegi


----------



## utkarsh73 (Feb 23, 2012)

Teacher was explaining a diagram in the class and all the students were looking in the text-book. To catch their attention, she drew the diagram on the board and said "Don't look at book figure, look at my figure"......


----------



## tkin (Feb 24, 2012)

Thread getting better and better.


----------



## Rahim (Feb 24, 2012)

^Yes indeed!! These jokes are not PJs....simple but funny ones 

*Q*A Girl asks while showing her index finger, if this is Pankaj then what is this (bending her index finger)?
*A* Pankaj Udhas.


----------



## rezurect007 (Mar 5, 2012)

Q.I'm not a fan of Computer-related jokes.
Not one bit.


QAfter a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."



Q.I walked up to a tramp today and said, "If you answer this question correctly, you will be in with a chance of winning one million pounds. Would you like to try?"

Her eyes lit up, "Yes please!"

I said, "Right then. What is 50p + 50p?"

He screamed, "One Pound!"

So I give her one pound and told her to go buy a lottery ticket.


Q.My calculator is missing the minus button, but on the plus side it still works.




Q.Teacher: Right class I want you all to think of a sentence that uses the word 'contagious'. Sarah you have a go.

Sarah: My sister has a cold and I think it's contagious.

Teacher: Good. Now Kate.

Kate: My cousin's laugh is really contagious.

Teacher: Excellent. Billy your turn.

Billy: My Dad was painting the fence on Saturday, and it took the c*nt ages.




Q.A tortoise went into a police station and said, "Help, I've just been mugged by 3 snails".
The policeman said, "Can you describe them?"
The tortoise said, "No, it all happened so fast!"


----------



## Skud (Mar 5, 2012)

Bahawah...


----------



## rezurect007 (Mar 5, 2012)

I had 2 FLIES crawl under my keyboard before, I've managed to get one under CTRL but the other managed to ESC.


Call me prejudiced if you like, but if I owned a shop I'd ban all people with blurry faces from coming in.


----------



## theserpent (Mar 6, 2012)

Raj:long time no talk(to sham)
sham:Hmm...


----------



## cute.bandar (Mar 6, 2012)

Q . why is that girl always smilling.
A. because she lives in flat no 32-C (bateesC)


----------



## axes2t2 (Mar 26, 2012)

What do call an alligator in a vest ?

An Investigator.


----------



## Niilesh (Mar 26, 2012)

^ 
This made remember a similar joke

Q.What is automatically?
A. auto-me-takli


----------



## ajai5777 (Mar 26, 2012)

There is a classic comedy scene in a famous malayalam movie.Dont know whether it will be good if it is translated to english, still let me try.
Hero is recently married and he is trying hard to impress his wife.He learns some jokes from magazines and goes near wife who is washing clothes.
Hero : I just remembered a joke and wanted to tell you.
Wife : yeah..tell.
Hero : A man goes to a barber shop and asks what items are there? salesman says cutting and shaving. Then the man : 1 plate cutting and 1 plate shaving 
Hero is laughing his ass off after telling this joke 
I guess you can imagine the expression in the wife's face


----------



## nims11 (Mar 26, 2012)

once a plane was tranferring mad people from one hospital to another. Suddenly a guy threw a fridge out of the plane. Why?


Spoiler



because he was mad




Once a couple were sitting near a lake full of crocodiles. The lake had an island at its center with a beautiful rose. The girl asked the boy to get the rose for her, who at first was not willing to take the risk, but later due to the insisting girl, went to fetch the rose. When he returned, he found the girl was dead. How?


Spoiler



the fridge fell on the girl


----------



## Piyush (Mar 27, 2012)

^^


----------



## ajai5777 (Mar 27, 2012)

Here is an example of how to place a giraffe in the fridge in 3 steps.

1 open the door.
2 place the giraffe.
3 close the door.

Then how to place a camel in the fridge in 4 steps?



Spoiler



1.open the door.
2.take the giraffe out of fridge.
3.place the camel in the fridge.
4.close the door.



There was a meeting of animals in the jungle but only one animal didnt go. Which was that?



Spoiler



The camel.It was in the fridge.



A guy went to bath in a lake, he found a board which read, Dont enter the lake.There are crocodiles.But he didnt care and bathed in the lake and nothing happened. Why?



Spoiler



All the crocodiles were gone for the meeting in jungle


----------



## dashing.sujay (Mar 27, 2012)

An aeroplane is flying with 500 bricks, suddenly one brick falls. What happens to the plane?



Spoiler



nothing 



How will you keep en elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?



Spoiler



1) open the fridge
2)insert the elephant
3)close the fridge 



How will you insert a deer into fridge using 4 steps?



Spoiler



1) open the fridge
2)take the elephant out
3)insert the deer
4)close the fridge



Lion gave a grand party, but at the last moment one was missing, who was that?



Spoiler



deer ! 



There was a lake full of crocodiles, but an old woman had to cross. How will she cross?



Spoiler



Dumbo, all crocodiles were enjoying the lion's party! 



So the old woman now crossed the lake but still died, how?



Spoiler



Remember the brick which fell from the plane? 



Same questions, though mine is better


----------



## krishnandu.sarkar (Mar 27, 2012)

^^And you copied this from a image in OT Thread


----------



## dashing.sujay (Mar 27, 2012)

krishnandu.sarkar said:


> ^^And you copied this from a image in OT Thread



No I was asked same questions by one of my senior yesterday. Moreover I rarely visit OT thread now.


----------



## Nipun (Mar 27, 2012)

The images copy stuff from us.

Girlfriend : "Last night I had a dream of you."
Boyfriend (got excited): "Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke"
Girlfriend replied : "We were traveling in bus,
Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone."
... Boyfriend (with luv): "I was searching for you, na ? ♥ "
Girlfriend said: NO, You were shouting,
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
"Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the"  

I setting password for his Laptop with friend sitting beside me...

I type "BRAIN" as password. The friend fell off his chair Laughing b'coz Laptop replied :"TOO SMALL"

--

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Girl: Mom, today the teacher beat me for something that I didn't do. 
Mother: That's very bad of your teacher. What was it that you didn't do? 
Girl: The homework.

--

Teacher: Why are you late..???
.

.

.

.

.

.
Student: Does it really matter. You still get Paid..!!

*www.thinkdigit.com/forum/cafe-games/141224-teh-lol-thread.html


----------



## krishnandu.sarkar (Mar 27, 2012)

dashing.sujay said:


> No I was asked same questions by one of my senior yesterday. Moreover I rarely visit OT thread now.



Ohh..!! It's ok


----------



## saikiasunny (Mar 27, 2012)

Hawa chali ud gaya pappu, hawa chali ud gaya pappu 
.
.
.
hawa ruki gir gaya pappu (common sense)


----------



## theserpent (Mar 27, 2012)

Nipun thats not PJ'S


----------



## Desmond (Mar 27, 2012)

I've said this several times and I will say this one again:



Spoiler



Two fishes are in a tank. One says to the other, "You drive, I'll man the turret"


----------



## Nipun (Mar 27, 2012)

Desmond

Parrot stepped on an elephant and elephant died. How?


Spoiler



Parrot's name was elephant and elephant's name was parrot


----------



## Desmond (Mar 27, 2012)

^^ dafuq!?


----------



## theserpent (Mar 27, 2012)

Nipun said:


> Desmond
> 
> Parrot stepped on an elephant and elephant died. How?
> 
> ...


*
The PJ of the year

*


----------



## Nipun (Mar 27, 2012)

2008.


----------



## theserpent (Mar 27, 2012)

Nipun said:


> 2008.



:Lol: ahaha ok


----------



## axes2t2 (Mar 27, 2012)

Nipun said:


> Desmond
> 
> Parrot stepped on an elephant and elephant died. How?
> 
> ...


----------



## amruth kiran (Mar 27, 2012)

why do i  feel these pj's are more funnier than the normal jokes??
then again do NORMAL JOKES even EXIST??


----------



## axes2t2 (Mar 27, 2012)

Why did the Integer drown?

Cos he couldn't Float !!



amruth kiran said:


> why do i  feel these pj's are more funnier than the normal jokes??
> then again do NORMAL JOKES even EXIST??



An 85 year old man is at the doc's having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "Never better!" he replies. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story...

I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.

So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. *BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him."

"That's impossible !" said the old man in disbelief, "Someone else must have shot that beaver."

"Exactly."


----------



## pratik385 (Mar 27, 2012)

Classic Geek joke 


Two software engineers happened to be very close friends.
One day, while sitting in a restaurant and having coffee,
one friend asked the other..    
"howz your relationship with that new G/f going"?
The other guy "i forgot to mention, yesterday she came to my house". 
WOW!!!  What happened then..  tell me the full story...     
Well..   i played her favorite music and we danced. 
Then!!  what happened...  
Well..  as we were dancing together..  we kissed...    
MAN!!!  then what...   keep going...  
Well..  i picked her up in my arms and placed her on the table..  next to my new laptop..     
You got a New Lapotop....     When...??? 
Just last week...   my parents gifted me one...  
Wow!! What configuration... ?? 
500GB harddisk, 8 GB ram..   4.3GH processor...  ........


----------



## Vyom (Mar 27, 2012)

^^ wow.. Had to post this. This is by far the most awesome thing I have read in this thread... And its not a PJ! ...


----------



## Skud (Mar 27, 2012)

pratik385 said:


> Classic Geek joke
> 
> 
> Two software engineers happened to be very close friends.
> ...




Bahahaha... 

The best I have heard in a long time, and its new, at least to me.


----------



## RiGOD (Mar 27, 2012)

ajai5777 said:


> There is a classic comedy scene in a famous malayalam movie.Dont know whether it will be good if it is translated to english, still let me try.
> Hero is recently married and he is trying hard to impress his wife.He learns some jokes from magazines and goes near wife who is washing clothes.
> Hero : I just remembered a joke and wanted to tell you.
> Wife : yeah..tell.
> ...



Yeah buddy. You meant this right?


----------



## helion (Mar 27, 2012)

There's a place where the Genius of India is getting selected.
Best friends Santa and Banta make it to the final round and Banta goes in first.
He comes out exasperated, sweating and all. 

Santa: Kya hua Bhai...
Banta : Bahuuuuut tough hai. Inko apna Genius of India samjho milne waala nahin hai. 
Santa : .... .... (wonders about his chances, rather dejected, feeling like itna door to aye hain woh to achcha hai.)

Santa goes in. There's MMS and Kapil Sibal ready to interview him. 
MMS : (points to his nose and asks) What's this?
Santa: Nose.
Kapil Sibal & MMS look at one another very pleased.
Kapil Sibal: (points to his ears and asks) What's this?
Santa : Ear.
Kapil Sibal & MMS (euphoric, extatic): Mr. Santa Singh, you are the Genius of India. Congratulations. 

Santa goes out smiling ear to ear, proud and Banta asks him " Itna tough thaa kaise select hue bhai? "


Spoiler



Santa(points to his own head): Kidneys !!


----------



## Faun (Mar 27, 2012)

pratik385 said:


> Classic Geek joke
> 
> 
> Two software engineers happened to be very close friends.
> ...



I thought it would end up with the guy installing windows on her laptop at 2am and doing a virus check.


----------



## RCuber (Mar 27, 2012)

Faun said:


> I thought it would end up with the guy installing windows on her laptop at 2am and doing a virus check.


am I the only one reading this wrong!!!


----------



## Skud (Mar 27, 2012)

Yeah, its his laptop, not her.


----------



## ajai5777 (Mar 27, 2012)

A man sailing in a boat having 3 sacks of rise.He has a a cigarette in his hand and he wants to light but he doesnt have a lighter then how to do it?



Spoiler



Just throw down the sacks of rise then the boat will become 'lighter' then he can use it


----------



## Nipun (Mar 27, 2012)

Plan B:
Take drops of water from sea and throw on cigerate slowly. It will light cangle. How?


Spoiler



Tip tip barsa paani, paani ne "AAG" lagayi



PLAN C:
Throw rise in air, and catch it. Catches wins matches. With this matches we will light the candle.

PLAN D:
Praise rice. Cigerate will become jealous. with this jealousy, it will heat up. 

Conclusion: You didn't open the link on previous page


----------



## ajai5777 (Mar 28, 2012)

^^
You win


----------



## eggman (Mar 28, 2012)

Nipun said:


> Plan B:
> Take drops of water from sea and throw on cigerate slowly. It will light cangle. How?
> 
> 
> ...



You sir, have won the internet.


----------



## pranav0091 (Mar 28, 2012)

Not very relevant now, but was until a lil while ago...


> These fernando torres jokes have crossed the line....
> .
> .
> .
> .





Spoiler



unlike his shots



Got it off 9gag. And I mean no hurt to any chelsea fan around.


----------



## krishnandu.sarkar (Mar 28, 2012)

1. Go to *www.google.co.in/
2. Search for "How to kill rajinikanth"
3. Click on the first link.


----------



## Nipun (Mar 28, 2012)

krishnandu.sarkar said:


> 1. Go to *www.google.co.in/
> 2. Search for "How to kill rajinikanth"
> 3. Click on the first link.


There was also googlerajnikanth or something. It said 'Google can't find rajni because no one can find him, but he can find everyone'


----------



## Desmond (Mar 28, 2012)

Nipun said:


> There was also googlerajnikanth or something. It said 'Google can't find rajni because no one can find him, but he can find everyone'



Its a ripoff of "How to find Chuck Norris" trick.


----------



## Nipun (Mar 28, 2012)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> Its a ripoff of "How to find Chuck Norris" trick.


Whats so cool about chuck norris?! hes just some dude. if hes so strong he can just break into my room and smash my face all across the keybo-FIAHFISBXLSBCOSNCOSDDPJF


----------



## Faun (Mar 28, 2012)

Charan said:


> am I the only one reading this wrong!!!



It happened in this forum, old member


----------



## ajaybc (Mar 28, 2012)

Well since it is a PJ thread..

Why is the Great Wall of China on of the 7 wonders of the world ?



Spoiler



Because it is the only Chinese product that has lasted this long






Nipun said:


> Whats so cool about chuck norris?! hes just some dude. if hes so strong he can just break into my room and smash my face all across the keybo-FIAHFISBXLSBCOSNCOSDDPJF



RIP mate


----------



## Desmond (Mar 28, 2012)




----------



## RCuber (Mar 28, 2012)

ajaybc said:


> Well since it is a PJ thread..
> 
> Why is the Great Wall of China on of the 7 wonders of the world ?
> 
> ...


ha  ha good one !!


----------



## Nipun (Mar 28, 2012)

*‎"i wasn't that drunk" 
*

REPLIES TO ABOVE GUY:

"dude, you threw my hamster and said, 'pikachu, i choose you" -.-

you ran at a wall while shouting 'IM GOING TO HOGWARTS!'

"Bro you destroyed my moms garden while yelling, "Screw Farmville!"

Dude, you opened all my cabinet doors and checked all my closets then yelled, ‘Where the hell is Narnia?!?!’

Dude, you saw this hobo on the corner with a white beard, ran up and hugged him crying, ‘DUMBLEDORE YOU’RE ALIVE!’

 “Dude, you grabbed my parakeet and threw it at my dog and yelled, ‘ANGRY BIRDS!’”

 “Dude, you jumped into a pile of mud and yelled ‘Look! I’m in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river!’”

“Dude, you were arguing with yourself over the phone then got upset when you hung up.”

“Dude, you kept calling my goldfish Cosmo and Wanda, got angry and started yelling at them when none of your wishes were coming true.”

“Dude, you saw this little Mexican girl, picked her up and yelled, ‘DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!’”

 “Dude, you gave a midget a mushroom and said, ‘GROW MARIO GROW!’”

“Dude, you called me saying you couldn’t find your phone.”


“Dude, you tried to open your door by
screaming ‘Alohamora!’”

“Dude, you stood in my Fireplace and yelled, ‘Diagon Alley!’”


“Dude, you gave a sock to a Midget yelling ‘Dobby, you’re FREE!’”

Dude! You were cutting open pineapples yelling, “Spongebob! I know you’re in there!”

” Dude, you thought my sponge had the Krabby Patty formula.”

Dude..... You were chasing my dog saying "Come back Sirius!!"

You Ripped Off Your Girlfriends Necklace, Yelled Horcrux And Then Crushed It Into Hundreds Of Pieces With Your Foot


----------



## ajaybc (Mar 29, 2012)

^ Awesome

Another one :

A man called his home at night. The servant guy picked up the phone.

*Man* : I want to talk my wife.

*Servant *: Sorry madam is in room with her husband now.

*Man *: WHAT ?!! I am her husband. That must be her lover. You do one thing, take a gun and shoot them both in the head. I will pay you whatever you want and I will make sure you dont get in trouble.

*Servant*: Okay...Hold on... [shots fired]...Sir I have killed them both and put the bodies in the swimming pool.

*Man*: What ?? Swimming pool ?? I dont have a swimming pool at home. Oh wait sh1t. Wrong number! [hangs up]


----------



## Desmond (Mar 29, 2012)

^ 

Not PJ though.


----------



## rezurect007 (Apr 19, 2012)

I was excited last night when I thought I found a film about a magic caravan, but it was just a trailer. 

How do you make a vegetarian chilli?
Steal his coat. 


Even though I've been married for five years I still can't help thinking about the one that got away. My wife's ex. What a lucky ba*stard. 


I was in Tesco today when I noticed a little old man struggling to get something from the top shelf.
"I can't reach it, I can't reach it" he kept saying to himself.
I walked over and said, "I can do that."
I took my shoes off, knelt down on top of them and said, "I can't reach it, I can't reach it." 

I've just subscribed to Sheep Farmers weekly magazine.
I was delighted to receive a free pen. 


My neighbours just complained that I was out in the back garden wearing nothing but my boxers today.
I don't see what the problem is, I think they make a lovely sun hat. 


I'm beginning to think my imaginary girlfriend is cheating on me.
She says it's all in my head.


----------



## Arrow-> (Apr 19, 2012)

Some jokes are good not poor.


----------



## toad_frog09 (Apr 20, 2012)

Knock knock


----------



## Nipun (Apr 20, 2012)

toad_frog09 said:


> Knock knock


"Who's that?"

"Arfur"

"Arfur who?"

"I fur got"


----------



## Faun (Apr 20, 2012)

Ni pun intended


----------



## $$Lionking$$ (Apr 20, 2012)

ajai5777 said:


> A man sailing in a boat having 3 sacks of rise.He has a a cigarette in his hand and he wants to light but he doesnt have a lighter then how to do it?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



or he could drop a few drops of water on the cigarette to light it.... 

tip tip barsa paani.... paani ne aag lagayi....


----------



## Nipun (Apr 20, 2012)

$$lionking$$ said:


> or he could drop a few drops of water on the cigarette to light it....
> 
> Tip tip barsa paani.... Paani ne aag lagayi.... :d :d


y u no read my post?


----------



## toad_frog09 (Apr 20, 2012)

Nipun said:


> "Who's that?"
> 
> "Arfur"
> 
> ...



.
.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Imma.
Imma who?
Imma kick your freakin' a$$ If you steal my post again.
.

.
Knock knock..
Who's there?
Juno.
Juno who?
Juno I'm gonna kick your freakin' a$$ now, right?
.
.
.
Knock knock..
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Dont cry, Nipun, I haven't kicked your freakin' a$$ yet!
.
.


----------



## $$Lionking$$ (Apr 20, 2012)

toad_frog09 said:


> .
> .
> Knock knock.
> Who's there?
> ...



Nipun - Sorry bro!    ROFLCOPTER!


----------



## RCuber (Apr 21, 2012)

crap.. I was suppose to be preparing to a interview tomorrow  today morning at 9.. I ended up in this thread


----------



## toad_frog09 (Apr 21, 2012)

Go tell this joke, you'll get selected.
.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No sir, Cows go moo.


----------



## Nipun (Apr 21, 2012)

I am on a Sea Food Diet.
.

.

.

.

.

I eat food when I see it.

--

I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat


----------



## $$Lionking$$ (Apr 21, 2012)

toad_frog09 said:


> Go tell this joke, you'll get selected.
> .
> Knock Knock?
> Who's there?
> ...



hahahaha... Killer stuff dude... ur on a rollll!!! !


----------



## rezurect007 (May 30, 2012)

As I grabbed my cock and held it firmly in my hands I thought to myself 'this is going to get messy.' I grabbed the nearest sharp implement, my cleaver, and chopped at the head hard. As mangled as it was it refused to come off. I clenched my cleaver harder and swung with a mighty swing, chopping the head clean off with dark red blood spurting everywhere, just veins and arteries were left hanging from the core.

Anyway, I hate my job as a poultry farmer.




No rest for the wicked.

probably why I've got insomnia I suppose



My mum never let me play with scissors when I was younger.

I could only use rock or paper.




I got my girlfriend really wet yesterday and she didn't like it when I squirted all over her face, she kept shouting 'WHAT ARE YOU A CHILD?!?!'

But the weather was so good I had to get her with my water gun.



My teacher just told me we have an exam on Monday.
That's an oddly specific subject. 

In my spare time I like to dress up as a knight, and jump over 20 parked cars on a horse.
I call myself Medieval Knievel. 

A really sexy girl asked for my number this morning.
All I did was hit her car with my car. 

I don't know what sort of animal the Sham is.
But its poo has done wonders for my hair 

I couldn't finish all my food so the waitress asked me, "Excuse me sir, do you wanna box for that?"
"No, but I'll arm wrestle you for it." I replied 

Not even in my wildest dreams did I think I'd work in a LSD factory run by french ginger unicorns. 

My maths teacher gave me additional subtraction as a punishment. I don't know how to take it.. 

I was on a charity obstacle course race with my girlfriend when she fell, hit her head and died whilst attempting to climb over a wall.
I got over it.


It's always been a pipedream of mine to quit my job and work in an arcade but I'm scared of change 

For years I struggled to make a sound when snapping my fingers.
Then suddenly it clicked. 

The doctor just told me that I'm partially deaf, which was difficult to hear. 

"Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a pharmacist!" my daughter exclaimed.
"Why on earth would she want to be a helper on a farm?" I thought to myself 

I saw a man wearing a pink jacket and leather hot pants today. He was shouting at everyone.
He was a raging homosexual. 

I've recently started a job retrieving litter.
It didn't require any training, I just picked it up as I went along. 

I haven't yet established myself in Snooker.
I'm just waiting for my big break. 

The EU can go f*ck themselves!
And the other vowels can p*ss off as well. 

I just discovered a cure for the fact half of my face has collapsed on one side.
It's a stroke of genius. 

playing chess improves intelligence, which is why I frequently play chess with the computer on the hardest level.
it keeps me in check.


----------



## TheSloth (May 31, 2012)

Santa purchased a crow as a pet for him. The crow was so soft so santa named it "my-crow-soft"

Santa purchased a crow as a pet for him. The crow was so soft so santa named it "my-crow-soft"


----------



## Anorion (May 31, 2012)

Mens rights.


----------



## techiemaharaj (May 31, 2012)

Q: What is the volume of the brain of a person who has lost his memory ???
.....
....
...
..
.
..
...
....
.....
Ans: 1/3pi*r^2h (1/3 pi(3.14) r square h)
Coz he'll always say "MAIN CONE-(kaun) HOON"
and volume of cone is 1/3pir^2h !!!!


----------



## axes2t2 (Jun 2, 2012)

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.


----------



## Faun (Jun 2, 2012)

Anorion said:


> Mens rights.



Women rights.


----------



## Assassini (Jun 2, 2012)

coudn't have been a better thread.
Another pj
Y do women watch sony's bade achhe lagte hain....?
A:Kyonki unhi BADE hi ache lagte hain.Small ones not of their business


----------



## dashing.sujay (Jun 2, 2012)

"humein bhi BADE acche lagte hain"


----------



## KDroid (Jun 2, 2012)

^^


----------



## saikiasunny (Jun 2, 2012)

CONFUSING PJ
Tomorrow's yesterday is
today...
and Yesterday's
tomorrow is also today...
but Today's yesterday
was yesterday's today...
so Tomorrow's today is
today's tomorrow.
ENJOY a confusing PJ.


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 3, 2012)

axes2t2 said:


> What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
> 
> An investigator.



you already posted it before


----------



## Nipun (Jun 3, 2012)

saikiasunny said:


> CONFUSING PJ
> Tomorrow's yesterday is
> today...
> and Yesterday's
> ...


How is it joke?


----------



## saikiasunny (Jun 3, 2012)

Do we always need a joke to laugh


----------



## axes2t2 (Jun 3, 2012)

Swapnil26sps said:


> you already posted it before



Really :O


----------



## aaruni (Jun 3, 2012)

What would you call a fat woman weighing herself?

Moti-Weightion (motivation)


----------



## Anorion (Jun 3, 2012)

salted peanuts

some are real good jokes


----------



## Assassini (Jun 3, 2012)

What will happen if u sleep at night?





Most probably u will not sleep in daytime...


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 3, 2012)

Like this i can say many.for e.g.
What will happen after you eat alot?
You will not feel hungry.


----------



## Vyom (Jun 3, 2012)

^^ One from me too then,

What will happen if I read more jokes like this...


I will think the idea gone stale.. and hence most probably won't laugh again...


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 4, 2012)

One of my friend told me this.
Friend:Shaktimaan should be rated 'R' and parents should not allow their children to watch this show.
Me:that show was hit among kids.and even parents liked 'choti magar moti batien'.
Friend:when he come,what a sound effect,fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk ............


----------



## Assassini (Jun 4, 2012)

Swapnil26sps said:


> One of my friend told me this.
> Friend:Shaktimaan should be rated 'R' and parents should not allow their children to watch this show.
> Me:that show was hit among kids.and even parents liked 'choti magar moti batien'.
> Friend:when he come,what a sound effect,fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk ............



FCUK fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk...hahahaha


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 8, 2012)

My friend heard it somewhere and told me. 
My Friend:MF
MF:total how many dogs in chennai? 
Me:i didn't count but there could be like 1 lakh or may be more.i don't know,who cares. 
MF:actually there are only 6 dogs in chennai. 
Me:how come?
MF:che-6 (in hindi) nnai-dog(in tamil)


----------



## rezurect007 (Jul 5, 2012)

Before we've found a cure for AIDS or Cancer, we have a Boner pill and a Hair growing pill.

Cancer..,You can Wait, we`ll get to you. I`m working on some thing here... 
Yeah.. what's the point of keeping people alive if they cant have Rock hard Erections.


----------



## Anorion (Jul 5, 2012)

mera naam Zoya hai but my friends call me zee
mera naam Manish hai but my friends call me doordarshan


----------



## rider (Jul 5, 2012)

Anorion said:


> mera naam Zoya hai but my friends call me zee
> mera naam Manish hai but my friends call me doordarshan



That was in ek tha tiger trailer, still can't get it.


----------



## Anorion (Jul 5, 2012)

^Zee, Star, Discovery, Doordarshan


----------



## rider (Jul 5, 2012)

so, what funny? 

It sounds like the worst hindi PJ of early 90s


----------



## axes2t2 (Jul 5, 2012)

A red ship crashed into a blue ship.

THE CREW WERE MAROONED


----------



## Faun (Jul 6, 2012)

^^nice one


----------



## Desmond (Jul 6, 2012)

Anorion said:


> ^Zee, Star, Discovery, Doordarshan



I don't get it either. Please tell me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## trublu (Jul 6, 2012)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> I don't get it either. Please tell me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



That's the whole point of a pj. You either get it and , or you never get it and 

btw... Katrina says Zee (the name of a channel)..so Salman says the name of another channel


----------



## Nipun (Jul 6, 2012)

Anorion said:


> mera naam Zoya hai but my friends call me zee
> mera naam Manish hai but my friends call me doordarshan


----------



## Desmond (Jul 7, 2012)

trublu said:


> That's the whole point of a pj. You either get it and , or you never get it and
> 
> btw... Katrina says Zee (the name of a channel)..so Salman says the name of another channel




_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Vyom (Jul 12, 2012)

Shadi ki 1st night

Dulha- Hamesha Puja krna,

Vrat rakhna, daan dena

Sabse pyar se bolna!

Dulhan pareshan ho ke bahar gyi,

Or boli , sab ander ajao,

SATSANG ho raha hai.


----------



## Nipun (Jul 12, 2012)

Vyom said:


> Shadi ki 1st night
> 
> Dulha- Hamesha Puja krna,
> 
> ...


----------



## aaruni (Jul 12, 2012)

> One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient
> arrives
> complaining of serious back pain.
> The doctor examines him and asks him:
> ...


 Saw this on facebook.


----------



## dashing.sujay (Jul 12, 2012)

^


----------



## Nipun (Jul 27, 2012)

Two Men, One Indian and One American were sitting in a bar & drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American

"'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.'

We call this arrange marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't Love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.'

The American said, talking about the love marriage I 'll tell you my story.

'I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 yrs. 

After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her,

So my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother.

More problem occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my Uncle.

Situations turned worse when my father had a son.

Now father's son is my brother, My brother is my Grandson. 

Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problem..!!

This is Family problem


----------



## KDroid (Jul 27, 2012)

^^ Awesome


----------



## krishnandu.sarkar (Jul 27, 2012)

Nipun said:


> Two Men, One Indian and One American were sitting in a bar & drinking shot after shot.
> 
> The Indian man said to the American
> 
> ...



 Hilarious


----------



## RCuber (Jul 28, 2012)

@Nipun , Hilarious Man


----------



## TheSloth (Jul 28, 2012)

@nipun:super. Heard a nice joke after very long time. Thanks


----------



## CyberKID (Sep 4, 2012)

@Nipun: thanks for sharing that.


----------



## KDroid (Sep 8, 2012)

> Thank god Ekta Kapoor ended her 'K' fixation otherwise her serial #BadeAcheLagteHai, would have been called ..Khade Acche Lagte hai.


----------



## Skud (Sep 8, 2012)

No doubt about that.


----------



## dashing.sujay (Sep 8, 2012)

^Ultra lol


----------



## axes2t2 (Sep 9, 2012)

What's the difference between iron-man and iron woman?

one is a superhero and the other is a command.


----------



## saurav_wow (Sep 21, 2012)

I heard a friend was addicted to brake fluid...i confronted him and told him my concern for his health...he said not to worry..he could stop any time...


----------



## axes2t2 (Sep 24, 2012)

A font walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Hey,we don't serve your types here" and then calls the Serif.


----------



## Faun (Sep 24, 2012)

saurav_wow said:


> I heard a friend was addicted to brake fluid...i confronted him and told him my concern for his health...he said not to worry..he could stop any time...



zing.......


----------



## Faun (Sep 27, 2012)

So Pyramid head walks into a bar and the bartender says:

"Hey, why the long face?"

There were no survivors.


----------



## Desmond (Sep 27, 2012)

Faun said:


> So Pyramid head walks into a bar and the bartender says:
> 
> "Hey, why the long face?"
> 
> There were no survivors.



duh!!


----------



## Knightlover (Sep 28, 2012)

aa ooo ee oooooo mera dil na todo.


----------



## sling-shot (Sep 28, 2012)

Chote : Are Bade, woh kaun hota hai jo jabhi bulaye hilta hai?
Bade : Pata nahi yaar.
Chote : Abhi-shek.

----------------------------------

Mr. Pawan Kishorilal Jhoke went to Pakistan without visa. But he was not stopped at the border. Why?
Because "Panchi Nadiyaan Pawan K Jhoke, Koi sarhad na use roke" - Refugee, Refugee (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


----------



## Nipun (Sep 28, 2012)

sling-shot said:


> Chote : Are Bade, woh kaun hota hai jo jabhi bulaye hilta hai?
> Bade : Pata nahi yaar.
> Chote : Abhi-shek.



So everyone is copying my jokes... hmm...

Tere mast mast do nain, mere dil ka le gye *chain*. Chain snatcher!!


----------



## sling-shot (Sep 28, 2012)

OOPS! Sorry, just repeated something I heard on 9XM.


----------



## KDroid (Sep 28, 2012)

@Nipun

As if you make them  You copy from somewhere else....


----------



## Nipun (Sep 28, 2012)

KDroid said:


> @Nipun
> 
> As if you make them  You copy from somewhere else....



Actually I _made_ the Abhi-shake and Dil ka le gye chain. And many more.


----------



## Faun (Oct 3, 2012)

Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice.



Spoiler



Except for Chris Brown




what did the beaver say when he swam into the wall



Spoiler



DAM



Why do people hit machines when they don't work?



Spoiler



It worked with the slaves...



Why do Scotsman wear kilts?



Spoiler



Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.



what bounces and makes kids cry



Spoiler



my donation cheque to Children in Need.


----------



## axes2t2 (Oct 7, 2012)

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot ?



Spoiler



A carrot


----------



## Nipun (Oct 15, 2012)

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, ‘For you, no charge.’
Bazinga!


----------



## Faun (Oct 15, 2012)

Fans: When will half life 3 release ?
Gaben: Looks like you have to deal with the weight.


----------



## Flash (Oct 15, 2012)

*
Tech  support:   What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:        Netscape.
Tech support:    That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:        Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
*


----------



## marvelousprashant (Oct 15, 2012)

Women live a better, longer and peaceful life, as compared to men, why? 

A very INTELLIGENT sardar replied: Women don't have a wife!


----------



## Flash (Oct 15, 2012)

^ Why sardars are always cornered for stupid jokes ?


----------



## marvelousprashant (Oct 15, 2012)

^No idea sirjee


----------



## axes2t2 (Oct 15, 2012)

marvelousprashant said:


> Women live a better, longer and peaceful life, as compared to men, why?
> 
> A very INTELLIGENT sardar replied: *Women don't have a wife!*



Oh really.....


----------



## CyberKID (Oct 15, 2012)

Gearbox said:


> ^ Why sardars are always cornered for stupid jokes ?


Because, IMO, they're humble enough to hear and laugh on the joke without bashing the one telling it.


----------



## KDroid (Oct 16, 2012)

^^ No one tells a sardar joke in front of him lol. 

btw, I got an SMS some time back that British used to Publish Sardar jokes in their mags during the stuggle for Independence because Sardars were the most active participants and it continues till date. Dunno if it's true or not.


----------



## Nipun (Oct 16, 2012)

KDroid said:


> ^^ No one tells a sardar joke in front of him lol.



I do all the time. Two of my best friends are sardar, including Jaskanwar. They don't mind it!

Infact, many times my friends crack jokes "Once there was a Nipun...", I don't mind that either.

And BTW that reminds me of a joke:

Santa: Bhaia kela kitne ka h?
Kele wala: 1 Rupye ka.
Santa: 40 paise me doge?
Kele wala: khali chilka milega.
Santa: Ye le 60 paise, khali kela dede.


----------



## RCuber (Oct 16, 2012)

Felix Baumgartner set the speed record? 



> People around me run at speed of light when ever I fart


----------



## Nipun (Oct 19, 2012)

A Czech visiting India goes for an eye check.
Ophthalmologist shows the letters 'CZWXNQSTACZ' to the Czech.
'Can U read this?' he asks.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Read?' the Czech replies, 'I even know the Guy! =D

BRUCE LEE was a great man..
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
But after his sister gave birth to a baby.... he became an ordinary man....
why ?
.
..
.
. .
.
.
.
.
Because he became MAMU LEE. 

‎"If you fall, I'll be there." 

-The Floor

--
Coolie to an IT employee: Aajkal konse platform pe kam kar rhe ho?


----------



## Flash (Oct 21, 2012)

Two ten year olds were arguing about who's parent was older.There was a girl and a boy.

Girl:"My mom is fifty years old!".
Boy:"Dang!You're mom must be ugly!".
Girl:"What? Just because she's old doesn't mean she's ugly!".
Boy:"I didn't say because she was old.".
Girl:"Then why?".
Boy:"Because no one wanted to screw her until she was forty!".


----------



## axes2t2 (Oct 21, 2012)

Arsenal FC are title contenders.


----------



## Nipun (Oct 21, 2012)

BRUCE LEE's Profile :-

1. Favorite vegetable
* Mu Lee

2. Favorite Lunch
* Tha Lee

3. What happens to the theater once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee

4. Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name?
* Saa Lee

5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee

6. Favorite festival
* Diwa Lee

7. Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee

8. Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee

9. Favorite job?
* Coo Lee

10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee

11. How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee

12. Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee

13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee

14. Favorite Hindi movie?
* Gharwa Lee Baharwa Lee

15. Favorite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee

16. Favorite Pet
* Bil Lee

17. Favorite pass time
* Khuj Lee

18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee

19. Jab Gussa Hota h to Deta hai
* Ga Lee

20. Sab Bajao
* Taa Lee


----------



## dashing.sujay (Oct 21, 2012)

^ Awesome guddu


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 21, 2012)

I didn't understand 'Fina Lee'


----------



## Nipun (Oct 21, 2012)

Swapnil26sps said:


> I didn't understand 'Fina Lee'



Finally, someone who doesn't understand!


----------



## dashing.sujay (Oct 22, 2012)

Swapnil26sps said:


> I didn't understand 'Fina Lee'



"Grand" Finale. Got now?


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 22, 2012)

are yaar samajh gaya tha par laga it could be something else too.


----------



## Desmond (Oct 22, 2012)

This video is one huge PJ.


----------



## aaruni (Oct 22, 2012)




----------



## Flash (Oct 22, 2012)

^ Are those game videos compiled by someone or rendered newly for spreading funny?


----------



## axes2t2 (Oct 22, 2012)

at the comments on that vid.


----------



## Desmond (Oct 22, 2012)

Gearbox said:


> ^ Are those game videos compiled by someone or rendered newly for spreading funny?



Rendered again mostly. I think the creation kit is capable of that.


----------



## Flash (Oct 23, 2012)

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy? 
*Subramanium Didn't See Me.*


----------



## Anorion (Oct 23, 2012)

kk. got one. a paleontologist walks up to a magazine stand and picks up a copy of digit.


----------



## axes2t2 (Oct 23, 2012)

I remembered one too *@Anorion*.



Spoiler



Skoar was a bi-monthly magazine.


----------



## Nipun (Oct 23, 2012)

Gearbox said:


> What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
> *Subramanium Didn't See Me.*



Old. More:

Opposite of Dominos?
Domi doesn't know.

Opposite of Pizza Hut?
Pizza Hutna Mat.

Opposite of Gopala Krishnan?
Come Pala Krishnan.

Opposite of Onion?
Aachar. (Onion = Piaj, Opposite = Pikal, pickle = aachar.)


----------



## Desmond (Oct 23, 2012)

Anorion said:


> kk. got one. a paleontologist walks up to a magazine stand and picks up a copy of digit.



Didn't get it.


----------



## Flash (Oct 23, 2012)

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. 

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. 

The husband  shouted , "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have   apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." 

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. 

A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. 

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?" 

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied. 

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll Give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself." 

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my life." 

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" 

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said. 
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire,burglary and natural disasters!" 

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?" 

" Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife." 

The husband looked at his wife and said, "honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?" 

She mul! led it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?" 

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. 

"I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. 
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?" 

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly. 
.
.
.
.    

"Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you
still believe in genies?"


----------



## aaruni (Oct 23, 2012)




----------



## RCuber (Oct 23, 2012)

Anorion said:


> kk. got one. a paleontologist walks up to a magazine stand and picks up a copy of digit.



was that Ross Geller by any chance? 

LMFAO on the Genie .. I had guessed the outcome


----------



## aaruni (Oct 23, 2012)

Anorion said:


> kk. got one. a paleontologist walks up to a magazine stand and picks up a copy of digit.



I am really not getting it...


----------



## Nipun (Oct 23, 2012)

Gearbox said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Anorion (Oct 23, 2012)

waa thought it was easy to get ok
an _archaeologist_ walks up to a magazine stand and gets a copy of dig_it _


----------



## Nipun (Oct 23, 2012)

Anorion said:


> waa thought it was easy to get ok
> an _archaeologist_ walks up to a magazine stand and gets a copy of dig_it _



There was no need to change paleontologist to archaeologist, we all can use Google. 
Digit was where help was needed.


----------



## KDroid (Oct 24, 2012)

Gearbox said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...







Gearbox said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 24, 2012)

Nipun said:


> There was no need to change paleontologist to archaeologist, we all can use Google.
> Digit was where help was needed.



So what is PJ here????


----------



## aaruni (Oct 24, 2012)

Nipun said:


> There was no need to change paleontologist to archaeologist, we all can use Google.
> Digit was where help was needed.



 .....


----------



## Nipun (Oct 24, 2012)

KDroid said:


>



Double rofl, with extra goodness! 



Swapnil26sps said:


> So what is PJ here????



Dig-it. They mostly dig to find old stuff.


----------



## Flash (Oct 24, 2012)

^ That's extreme! 

*No S** since 1955 *



Spoiler



A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.


'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?' 


'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.' 


The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.' 


'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.' 


The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.' 


The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.


Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?


"1955, ma'am." 


"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!"


She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'


.
.


The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I Hope Not; It's only 2130 now.'


----------



## Skud (Oct 24, 2012)

@Gearbox: awesome bro. Some more in stock?


----------



## Flash (Oct 24, 2012)

Yes buddy. 
But it will be of no more fun, if posted often


----------



## Nipun (Oct 24, 2012)

Ram : Sita :: RAM : SATA


----------



## Flash (Oct 24, 2012)




----------



## axes2t2 (Oct 24, 2012)

What do you call the father of all corny jokes?

Popcorn.


----------



## Flash (Oct 24, 2012)

Wife by text to husband at work:
“Windows at home frozen – what should I do?”
Husband: “spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them”


----------



## Nipun (Oct 25, 2012)

At Dinner Little Jhonny Was Ordered To Lead In Prayer.

Little Jhonny: “But I Dont Know How To Pray?”

Dad: “Just Pray For Your Family Members, Friends And Neighbours, The Poor, Etc”

Little Jhonny Started The Prayer:

Dear Lord, Thank You For Our Visitors And Their Children

Who Finished All My Cookies And Ice Cream. Bless Them So they Wont Come Again.

Forgive Our Neighbor’s Son, Who Removed My Sister’s Clothes And Wrestled With Her On Her Bed.

This Coming Christmas, Please Send Clothes To All Those Poor Naked Ladies On My Daddy’s I-phone

And Provide Shelter For The Homeless Men Who Use Mom’s Room When Daddy Is At Work.

Amen

Dinner Was Cancelled  

--
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious. :/ 

Looks like I found a treasure 



Pathik's Siggy said:


> <TB>I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life Line.
> <TB>I reached a call center in Pakistan & told them I was suicidal.
> <TB>They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck





Third Eye said:


> Three men, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting in a sauna.
> Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
> The First young man pressed his forearm and the beep stopped.
> The others looked at him questioningly.
> ...



Credit for this to T159:

Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell! After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, Lord. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?" "Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!"

Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.

The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect!

Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!"

To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went. Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing.

It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Mr. Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision

"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."

"As you desire," said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded with anguish and despair.

"This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

"Oh, THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver"

-
Doctor ki Shaadi kuch is tarah se honi chahiye...

MEHENDI ki jagah DETTOL solution istemal ho..!

BAARAT Ambulance me jaye..!

SHAADI Hospital mein ho..!

PHOTO ki jagah X-ray liya jaye..! 

Aur kya khub ho agar KHANE me Vitamin C & B ki goli di jaye..!

MEHMANO ko CHAY ya Cold Drink ki jagah Glucose & ORS diya jaye..!

DULHAN ke gale me haar ki jagah Stethoscope lagaya jaye..!!

Aur...

Maza to tab aye jab Dr. Shaadi ke baad bole...

"NEXT PLEASE!!!"


----------



## Flash (Oct 25, 2012)

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. 
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, 
“Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear
“God Almighty!” shouted Mary, and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, “Who is our Lord and Savior,” but Mary didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again.
“Jesus Christ!” shouted Mary, and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question.
“What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” 
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. 
This time Mary jumped up and shouted,
“If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half


----------



## Skud (Oct 25, 2012)




----------



## Nipun (Oct 26, 2012)

Gearbox said:


> Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.
> One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
> “Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
> When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear
> ...



Source: Same as my posts


----------



## codypunk (Oct 26, 2012)

this thread is really funny. And these are not PJs


----------



## Flash (Oct 26, 2012)

Nipun said:


> Source: Same as my posts


I just Googled for Johnny and got that! 



codypunk said:


> this thread is really funny. And these are not PJs


So you want one PJ. Here it is

What do you say when u see a Microsoft engineer sleeps on the table with his face on top?
*Microsoft-Sir-face. 

*


----------



## codypunk (Oct 26, 2012)

Here's one from my side-
A man brought a young cock because his old cock was too old for his young hens to ferti.... errrr you know that.
The first day when the young cock came, 
Old cock: If you have to take charge of my hens then you have to defeat me in a race tomorrow morning.
Young cock: Get ready to get out from here now. Tomorrow morning. OK
Now the old cock happened to be a marathon champion.
The next morning the race began. The old cock was leading the race and the young cock was behind him. Then suddenly *bang* And the young cock was dead.
The owner was standing and watching all this and he said: What the f==k!!! What's wrong with the cocks of this town? This is the fourth gay cock I brought from the market....


----------



## manojkrishnaks (Oct 26, 2012)

codypunk said:


> Here's one from my side-
> 
> The owner was watching all this and he said: What the f==k!!! What's wrong with the cocks of this town? This is the fourth gay cock I brought from the market....


 Awesome


----------



## Flash (Oct 26, 2012)

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life. 

The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. 

After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" 

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" 

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!"


----------



## axes2t2 (Oct 27, 2012)

President Bush has a small one. President Roosevelt has a long one. Their wives got it after their wedding.What is it ?



Spoiler



their surname


----------



## Skud (Oct 27, 2012)

Njoying. Some joke are not really poor.


----------



## Nipun (Oct 27, 2012)

axes2t2 said:


> President Bush has a small one. President Roosevelt has a long one. Their wives got it after their wedding.What is it ?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## axes2t2 (Oct 27, 2012)

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 27, 2012)

codypunk said:


> Here's one from my side-
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...



I didn't understand. Anyone explain?


----------



## codypunk (Oct 27, 2012)

Swapnil26sps said:


> I didn't understand. Anyone explain?



Please tell me what you didn't understand


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 27, 2012)

Last line


----------



## Faun (Oct 27, 2012)

^^he was running to mate with the old cock, that's what the owner thought.


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 27, 2012)

Then  who hit the young cock?


----------



## Faun (Oct 27, 2012)

^^owner, because it was of no use.

*images.nonexiste.net/popular/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/The-Joker-s-truth.jpeg


----------



## codypunk (Oct 27, 2012)

Swapnil26sps said:


> Then  who hit the young cock?



Learn from her! lol come on!! 



Faun said:


> ^^owner, because it was of no use.


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 27, 2012)

Thanks faun.
@codypunk: what to learn from whom?

Oooooooo, now I totally got the joke. 
Hahahahahaha, very funny joke.


----------



## Nipun (Oct 27, 2012)

Faun said:


> *images.nonexiste.net/popular/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/The-Joker-s-truth.jpeg


That's me in my class most of the time. Except 2, no other understands my joke in whole school.


Girl: Dabao na

Zor se

Aisa karo mera blouse nikal do

Sari bhi

Ab dabao

Thoda aur zor se

Apni pant bhi nikal do
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dekho,hogaya na suitcase band.......     

----

Boy : Mai tumhare liye kuch bhi kr skta hun ♥
Girl : Acha jao fir chand taare tod ke layo! 
Boy : Acha fir Karvachauth tu apne baap ko dkhe manayegi? 

--
Shadi ke time Dulhe ke mobile pe bel hui..!
.

.
Aur...
.

.
Ladki walon ne usse bohut mara Rington lagi thi..!!
.
...
.
"Dil Me Chupa Ke Arman Le Chale...
Hum Aaj Apni Mot Ka Samaan le chale..!!!"


----------



## Flash (Oct 27, 2012)

I HAVE A ZARA HATKE PLOT FOR A HINDI FILM. IT'S ABOUT TWO CHARACTERS. 
VEERU & BASANTI OF SHOLAY. 

THEY FALL IN LOVE. GET ENGAGED. LIVE WITH EACH OTHER. BUT DURING THIS LIVE-IN, VEERU DISCOVERS BASANTI'S SECRET AFFAIR WITH JAI. AGHAST HE CALLS OFF THE ENGAGEMENT. 

AND IN THE CLIMAX ELOPES WITH RADHA AS A REVENGE ON BASANTI. CAN YOU TELL ME AN APT NAME FOR THIS POTENTIAL BLOCKBUSTER?
Ring Dey Basanti.


----------



## Nipun (Oct 29, 2012)

Teacher - Agar tumhara dost or gf kashti me doob rahe ho to tum kise bachaoge..? .
.
.
.
.
. . . . .
.
.
...
.
Student - Marne do dono ko.!. . . . .
.
.
.
.
. Teacher- kyu.? . . . . .
.
.
.
.
.
.
? ? Student- Saale dono 1 sath 1 kasti mein kar kya rhe the.;>


----------



## Flash (Oct 29, 2012)

Boy to Boy : which laptop do u
have?
.
.
.
. .
Boy : Dell i7 procssr 2.2ghz
with led display 4Gb ram 1 TB Hard Disk
.
.
.
Girl to Girl: which laptop do u hav ?
.
Girl : Pink One...

--------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher:
What does a green dot on ParleG biscuit packet indicate?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student:
It indicates ParleG is online..


----------



## Nipun (Oct 29, 2012)

WIFE: what would you do if I died? 
would you get married again? 
H: No
W: Why not? Don't u like being married?
H: Of course I do
W: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
H: Ok, ok, I'd get married again
W: You would?
H: ?
W: Would you live in our home
H: Yes its a great house.
W: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
H: Where else would v sleep?
W: Would you let her drive my car?
H: Yes its almost new
W: would you replace my pictures?
H: That would seem like the proper thing to do
W: Would you give her my jewelry?
H: No I'm sure she would want her own
W: Would she wear my shoes?
H: No her size is 6
W: --silence-

-
Santa: Waiter, why is there an octopus in my soup?
Waiter: Because we're out of flies.


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 29, 2012)

ParleG is online is awesome.
And Pink one too.


----------



## Flash (Oct 29, 2012)

*Call summary Analysis:*
Boy to boy = 00:00:59
Boy to mom = 00:10:30
Boy to dad=00:02:36
Boy to girl = 01:15:01
Girl to girl = 00:29:59
Girl to boy=00:00:05Father to Rangus: Success is when Signature turns into Autograph.
Rangus: No Dad, Success is when, Signature turns into Black Label..!  Father to Rangus: Success is when Signature turns into Autograph.
Rangus: No Dad, Success is when, Signature turns into Black Label..! 


A guy asked a girl in a library; “Do you mind if I sit beside you”?

The girl answered with a loud voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT
WITH YOUUU!!!”.


All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the
girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?"


The guy responded with a
loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!"


...and all the people in the
library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears; “I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"


----------



## Nipun (Oct 30, 2012)

^OLD.


----------



## Flash (Oct 30, 2012)

^ Whispered in eyes? Where?


----------



## Nipun (Oct 30, 2012)

Gearbox said:


> ^ Whispered in eyes? Where?



Having day dreams?


----------



## Flash (Oct 30, 2012)

Nipun said:


> Having day dreams?


I should've quoted yours, Eyewhisperer!


----------



## Nipun (Oct 30, 2012)

gearbox said:


> i should've quoted yours, eyewhisperer!



troll.png


----------



## codypunk (Oct 30, 2012)

Nipun said:


> ^OLD.





Gearbox said:


> ^ Whispered in eyes? Where?





Nipun said:


> Having day dreams?





Gearbox said:


> I should've quoted yours, Eyewhisperer!





Nipun said:


> troll.png




ton ton ton
Round one goes to Nipun since Gearbox has gone offline lol
Next round will be played some other day


Now don't fight with the referee ie ME
OK?


----------



## Flash (Oct 31, 2012)

codypunk said:


> Now don't fight with the referee ie ME
> OK?



I give up. 

A little boy opened the family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in-between the pages.

"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?"

With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"


----------



## Nipun (Oct 31, 2012)

I'm not a fan of Computer-related jokes.
Not even a 'bit'.


----------



## aaruni (Oct 31, 2012)

Nipun said:


> I'm not a fan of Computer-related jokes.
> Not even a 'bit'.



then how about a "byte" for you ?



Spoiler



*2.bp.blogspot.com/-G_2Jll-47tI/Td8RfXcLFhI/AAAAAAAAA3I/_-C3x9fPmTQ/s1600/file_10_29%2B%25281%2529.jpg


----------



## Nipun (Oct 31, 2012)

aaruni said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> *2.bp.blogspot.com/-G_2Jll-47tI/Td8RfXcLFhI/AAAAAAAAA3I/_-C3x9fPmTQ/s1600/file_10_29%2B%25281%2529.jpg



I miss these.....


----------



## Faun (Oct 31, 2012)

aaruni said:


> then how about a "byte" for you ?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Take my nibbles.


----------



## Desmond (Nov 1, 2012)

Nuff said.

*i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/6/6WRKfz6TcE-OKRH6jm2zZQ2.jpg

*wirdou.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/silver-surfer.jpg

*wirdou.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/freddie.jpg

*i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/10/mzg-jL3gA0Gd_CISpg3NQQ2.png


----------



## KDroid (Nov 1, 2012)

This is not lolpic thread, sir.


----------



## aaruni (Nov 1, 2012)

@KDroid : 

@Faun:


----------



## Nipun (Nov 1, 2012)

I fart because it's the only gas I can afford.


----------



## aaruni (Nov 1, 2012)

what about O[sub]2[/sub] or CO[sub]2[/sub] ??


----------



## Flash (Nov 1, 2012)

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. “ Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."


----------



## nac (Nov 2, 2012)

This was from a book written by GM Patrick Wolff.

Yasser Seirawan (a Grand Master), loves to try to reach a position where he can promote one of his pawns. Commenting on this aspect of his play, Joel Benjamin (GM), joked to Patrick Wolff, "Yasser keeps pushing his pawns even after he's checkmated!"

A few days later, Patrick told Yasser about this joke. "That's not fair," he said, "it only happened once!"

"You mean, it actually happened?"

"Well, many years ago, when I was a kid playing my first tournament, I played a master. And just when I was about to promote my pawn, he checkmated me. But before he could say anything, I promoted my pawn to a king."

"Did he tell you that was against the rules?"

"Nah. He just checkmated my other king too, and that was that."


----------



## Nipun (Nov 3, 2012)

THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER :-

My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell u that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to u for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks haven been hell. Your boss called to tell me that u left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and u didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your fa
vorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn't tell me u love me anymore, u didn't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either u are cheating on me or u don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone....
YOUR EX-WIFE

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!....

REPLY :

Dear Ex-Wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true u and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what u have been. I watch TV soaps so much becoz they down out your constant whining and *****ing. Too bad that doesnt work anymore. I did notice when u got a hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to my mind was 'you look just like a boy!'. Since my father raised me not to say anything if u can't say something nice, I didn't comment. When u cooked my favorite meal, u must have got me confused with MY BROTHER becoz I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new night gown, I turned away from u becoz the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, i still loved u and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home u were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope u have fulfilling life u always wanted. My lawyer said that the LETTER u wrote ensures u won't get a dollar from me. So take care...
Signed....
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell And Free!


----------



## dashing.sujay (Nov 3, 2012)

^Too good


----------



## sling-shot (Nov 3, 2012)

This thread has degraded too much.

For all people posting jokes and pictures etc. ---> Please read the thread title. There are other threads for jokes and if you feel necessary please create another one.

Please post only PJ's on this thread. Please...


----------



## Nipun (Nov 4, 2012)

sling-shot said:


> This thread has degraded too much.
> 
> For all people posting jokes and pictures etc. ---> Please read the thread title. There are other threads for jokes and if you feel necessary please create another one.
> 
> Please post only PJ's on this thread. Please...



Last time a thread was created for _jokes_, it was closed because I started posting in it. 

Not sure if I've posted this earlier:

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, ‘For you, no charge.’


----------



## Faun (Nov 5, 2012)

Nipun said:


> A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, ‘For you, no charge.’



A web designer walks into a bar, leaves in haste after seeing the table layout there.



Nipun said:


> A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, ‘For you, no charge.’



A web designer walks into a bar, leaves in haste after seeing the table layout there.


----------



## Desmond (Nov 5, 2012)

Faun said:


> A web designer walks into a bar, leaves in haste after seeing the table layout there.



A Windows application walks into a Linux bar.

Bartender : What will it be?

Windows app : *Wine* please.


----------



## sling-shot (Nov 6, 2012)

Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne ke liye karoge ....
...
To dusro ki gaand me ungli karne ka waqt hi nahi milega


----------



## dashing.sujay (Nov 6, 2012)

^Use spoilers with warning.


----------



## marvelousprashant (Nov 7, 2012)

I know this isn't a video thread but you have to WATCH THIS


----------



## Vignesh B (Nov 7, 2012)

^^ Just couldn't stop laughing at the comparison done between iphone 4 & 5(Mumbai).


----------



## CyberKID (Nov 7, 2012)

^ LOL! That's upto the *INDIA TV* Standard


----------



## Flash (Nov 7, 2012)

A Web developer went to the bar and booze till he can't walk. 

Bartender asked "Sir, whether you want any of us to accompany yourself till home?"
Developer said "No problem. I can walk by myself" and left his home key in the bar.

Next day, he came again to the shop. Bartender asked "Sir, you forgot your key yesterday. How did you managed?"
Developer said "Don't worry. I have a primary key, and as a backup a foreign key".


----------



## Faun (Nov 7, 2012)

^^haha...


----------



## Nipun (Nov 7, 2012)

marvelousprashant said:


> I know this isn't a video thread but you have to WATCH THIS



"Voice calling keval wifi ke zariye hoti thi"


----------



## Desmond (Nov 8, 2012)

Gearbox said:


> A *Web developer* went to the bar and booze till he can't walk.
> 
> Bartender asked "Sir, whether you want any of us to accompany yourself till home?"
> Developer said "No problem. I can walk by myself" and left his home key in the bar.
> ...



???

I think that should be Database Administrator.


----------



## axes2t2 (Nov 8, 2012)

You learn everything now a days.

jack of all,master of none.


----------



## Nipun (Nov 8, 2012)

Santa Class Me Hans Raha Tha
1 girl Boli: Stand up

Santa: Tum Kaun Ho....??

Ladki: Mai MONITOR Hu

Santa: Ha ha ha Tere Din Gaye Pagli .!

Ab laptop aur LCD ka zamana hai.


----------



## Desmond (Nov 8, 2012)

axes2t2 said:


> You learn everything now a days.
> 
> jack of all,master of none.



Nope...web developers do not play around with Primary keys and Foreign keys. The one who designs the schema implements them.

Another one :

Is life worth living?


Spoiler



Depends upon the liver


----------



## Nipun (Nov 8, 2012)

Man: 1 Vodka plz.

Bar Man: Rs. 5 sir!

Man: What! only Rs. 5?

Can i also hav 1 plate kebab plz?

Bar man: Rs.7 sir.

Man: Wow dat's really cheap!!
can i meet d owner?

Bar man: No sir, He's busy wid my GF.

Man:What 's he doing with ur
GF??

Bar man: D same thing dat i'm
doing wid his business here


----------



## Shah (Nov 8, 2012)

Nipun said:


> Santa Class Me Hans Raha Tha
> 1 girl Boli: Stand up
> 
> Santa: Tum Kaun Ho....??
> ...



I remember reading this one in One India's Jokes Section....


----------



## Nipun (Nov 9, 2012)

Spoiler



TEACHER : "Aisi kaun si cheej
hai, jise tum roj dekh sakte ho
par chhu nahin Sakte..?"
Student : "Rahne do Madam
Aap naraj ho jayengi..."



A small girl looked at her brother's gf and asked
innocently...
...
..
...
..
...
..
...
Everyday you come to meet my brother...!
Don't you have your own brother???


----------



## Nipun (Nov 12, 2012)

Strict Warning -

Don't use kingfisher bottle to fire rocket. It may not fly


----------



## Flash (Nov 17, 2012)

In a computer class:

Student: Mam, you're drawing the flowchart wrong. "Alternate process" should be depicted as Rounded-rectangles.
Teacher: I know that. Now, Rounded-rectangles are belonged to Apple.


----------



## Nipun (Nov 17, 2012)

An apple a day is almost Rs.1000 a month.
Seeing a doctor is much cheaper.


----------



## Nipun (Nov 20, 2012)

What were Sunita Williams' first words when she landed back on earth? "Tata Sky"


----------



## Julieanderson (Nov 21, 2012)

Why do people always troll on blondes ?
Because blondes always prefer to stay like blondes !!!


----------



## Nipun (Nov 28, 2012)

Ek shaitan baccha unknown number se call karta hai..!
Ek aadmi uthata hai..!

Admi: Hello!
Baccha: Ullo pullo kullo..!

Aadmi: Kaun hai be? 
Baccha: Ek Insan..!

Aadmi: Wo pata hai naam bol..?
Baccha: Main ek ganda bacha hu..!

Aadmi: Teri to aisi ki taisi..! Kahaan rehta hai..?
Baccha: Prithvi pe..! 

Aadmi: Wo to pata hai, phone kyu kiya..?
Baccha: Tujhe pareshan karne ke liye..!

Aadmi: Ruk saale! Apne baap ko bula! Chhakke ki aulaad..!!
Baccha: Hello papa, main Pappu..!!! D


----------



## Nipun (Dec 11, 2012)

A boy was watching cartoons at POGO. .
.
.

His younger brother came and asked:Bhaiya yun hi
POGO dkh rahe ho ya koi joke samaj ni aya?


----------



## theserpent (Dec 11, 2012)

^^ LOlllll


----------



## Desmond (Dec 11, 2012)

Nipun said:


> A boy was watching cartoons at POGO. .
> .
> .
> 
> ...



What?


----------



## Nipun (Dec 12, 2012)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> What?



You need to watch pogo too.  (No offense)


----------



## TheSloth (Dec 13, 2012)

I too didn't understand the meaning of that joke.
I used to watch pogo.


----------



## Nipun (Dec 13, 2012)

Swapnil26sps said:


> I too didn't understand the meaning of that joke.
> I used to watch pogo.



In end of many adult jokes, its written "Those who understand hit like, others watch pogo".


----------



## TheSloth (Dec 13, 2012)

^i didn't understand the meaning of "hit like". could anyone explain?


----------



## RCuber (Dec 13, 2012)

^^ facebook buddy!!


----------



## Nipun (Dec 13, 2012)

What's blue and not heavy? 


Spoiler



Light Blue.



What's red and smells like blue paint??


Spoiler



RED PAINT.


----------



## Flash (Dec 14, 2012)

This got the whole of Sydney laughing..... 

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks heard this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney . 

The DJs play a game called 'Mate Match'. The DJ calls someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. 
If the contestant answers 'yes', he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. 



Spoiler



The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with(phone number) for verification. 

If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. 

The Harbour City dropped to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet . 

Anyway, here's how it all went down: 

DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?' 

Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.' 

DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.' 

Contestant: 'Brian.' 

DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?' 

Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.' 

DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.' 

Brian: 'Sara.' 

DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?' 

Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.' 

DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?' 

Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.' 

DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?' 

Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.' 

DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' 

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...' 

DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?' 

Brian: 'About 10 minutes.' 

DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake.' 

Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.' 

DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning? 

Brian: (laughing hard) 'I, ummm, I, well...' 

DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?' 

Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for couple of weeks...' 

DJ: 'Uh huh...' 

Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.' 

DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' 

Brian: 'On the kitchen table.' 

DJ: 'Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. 

You listen to this.' 

[ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ] 

DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?' 

(Touch tones.....ringing....) 

Clerk: 'Kinkos.' 

DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?' 

Clerk: 'This is she.' 

DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.' 

Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?' 

DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to 
Give any..answers away or you'll lose.Sooooooo... Do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?' 

Sarah: 'No.' 

DJ: 'Good!' 

Brian: (laughing) 

Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?' 

Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest..' 

DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us. 

Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' 

DJ: 'All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?' 

Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work.' 

DJ: 'What time?' 

Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.' 

DJ: 'Very good. Next question. How long did it last?' 

Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.' 

DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?' 

Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' 

DJ: 'Where did you have it?' 

Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?' 

Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.' 

DJ: 'What is bothering you so much, Sarah?' 

Sarah: 'Well...' 

DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it? 


Sarah: 'Up the arse.....'




They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was going to have a heart attack , he could not stop laughing.


----------



## Nipun (Dec 17, 2012)

Beautiful love story - MUST READ

A certain rich businessperson had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner. When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.

Now, the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.

The girl's father started
searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home thru a local newspaper. Her father said, "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."

Therefore, in this way, their love won and they returned home.

The couple next day went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in a white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, suddenly from the next corner, a lorry came at a fantastic speed and hit him. He died on the spot.

The girl was devastated and lost her senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the next day because he had died horribly.

Father felt very sad for his daughter. He told his daughter, "See, This is all divine will. I know I should not be talking to you so soon. However, I cannot bear the pathetic sight of you like this for the rest of my life. I beg you; please try to come out of this sorrow. I want you to marry again and live happily forever. My partner's son is willing to marry you." The girl, who was already so sad, now felt sorry for her father also.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the bloodstains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.

The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night; she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes with the bloodstains immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream. She again washed the stains but some remained. But again, the next night she had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the bloodstain, or else something terrible would happen.

This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains remained. She was very tired.

In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked on the door. When she opened the door, she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. Her face was pale. She seemed to be half asleep or in a trance. The girl got very scared and fainted. And slowly she slipped, and slipped down to a bottomless pit. She lost any idea of time.

The old lady woke her up. She gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl.

She asked the old lady, "What is this...?"

The old lady started singing in unbelievably melodious semi divine voice.



Spoiler



"Washing powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma
Doodh si safedi Nirma se aaye,
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye,
Washing powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma. Nirma"

10 ka 1, do pe ek free

The girl bought two and got one free!


----------



## Nipun (Jan 19, 2013)

Sach baat itni chubti kyo hai?


Spoiler



kyonki usme point hota hai!


----------



## TheSloth (Jan 19, 2013)

@nipun: awesome. i will use it to pi$$ off people


----------



## Flash (Mar 6, 2013)

*Call to IT Department *

Caller:                      Hi, our printer is not working. 
Customer Service:    What is wrong with it? 
Caller:                      Mouse is jammed. 
Customer Service:    Mouse? Printers don’t have a mouse you retard 
Caller:                      Mmmmm…….. oh really?... I will send a picture.



Spoiler



*image.digital-kingdom.dk/images/nHH13068.jpg


----------



## aaruni (Mar 6, 2013)

should have been "rat" is stuck...


----------



## RCuber (Mar 6, 2013)

@Gearbox Hahahah... excellent one.


----------



## aaruni (Mar 6, 2013)

also, she should've contacted one of TDF cats. they would've been of more help..


----------



## Nipun (Mar 6, 2013)

Gearbox said:


> *Call to IT Department *
> 
> Caller:                      Hi, our printer is not working.
> Customer Service:    What is wrong with it?
> ...



He looks innocent. "Save me, please!"


----------



## quagmire (May 1, 2013)

Not a PJ, but a pretty good geek joke:



Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon.

Einstein is bored, so he suggests, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll be it!"

The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. "One... Two... Three..."

Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.

But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square. He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, "Ready or not -- here I come!"

Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. He says, "I found you, Newton!"

Newton replies, "No, you found one Newton per square meter -- You found Pascal!"​



-Credits to whoever wrote this.


----------



## flyingcow (May 1, 2013)

What do you become when you have 100 sorrys??




Spoiler



Mafia


----------



## rst (May 1, 2013)

Police Constable To Son:
 "Stupid,
 Why Did U Get Very Low Marks in All Subjects.?
 .
 .
 .
.
.
.

 Son: "Keep This 50 Rupees


----------



## Anorion (May 1, 2013)

One of the many from race 2... Men are many but money is money


----------



## Nipun (May 1, 2013)

quagmire said:


> Not a PJ, but a pretty good geek joke:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



*cough* OLD *cough*


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 18, 2013)

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the
other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms
a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian,
a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a
single language, not one, in which a double positive can
express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah,
right.”


----------



## Flash (Jun 18, 2013)

^  How's that even a joke?
Is it have a hidden meaning?


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 18, 2013)

Gearbox said:


> ^  How's that even a joke?
> Is it have a hidden meaning?



I guess you didnt get the joke.' yeah,right '- are two positive words when used sarcastically becomes negative.


----------



## harshilsharma63 (Jun 18, 2013)

What would the sequel (if any) of Man of Steel would be?



Spoiler



Man of Carbon Fiber


----------



## Niilesh (Jun 18, 2013)

Nanducob said:


> An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the
> other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms
> a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian,
> a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a
> ...


----------



## dan4u (Jun 18, 2013)

Nanducob said:


> An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the
> other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms
> a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian,
> a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a
> ...



Lolzz good one


----------



## Anorion (Jun 18, 2013)

What do you call a cross between lassie and a cantaloupe?
A melon-collie baby


----------



## Zangetsu (Jun 18, 2013)

Throw Butter out-of-the window & watch "ButterFly"


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 18, 2013)

Throw pigs out of the window and see 'pigs fly'


----------



## axes2t2 (Jun 18, 2013)

What did baby corn ask mama corn ?

Where is popcorn.......hahahahahahahahahahaha


----------



## Flash (Jun 18, 2013)

Where do you find MANGOES? Mango tree? Fruit shop? 

**** NO ****

Where ever WOMAN goes, Peeche-Peeche MAN-goes!


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 24, 2013)

A drunk would take your money and say he didnt but
, a dopehead would go around searchin for it with you"


----------



## Nipun (Aug 19, 2013)

A aur B ki shaadi thi, usme CBI.

--

Me : Hey how are you ?

She : I am not Well baby...

Me : So what ? r u River , Ocean ?

*Blocked For Life*
--
She: Hey,Whats up? 
Me: Onion prices. 

She: You know what I mean, like What's crackin'? 
Me: Nutshells. 

She: Really? Fine. What's poppin?
Me: Corn. 

*Blocked*
--

Boy: aaj mausam achha h mall chalte h. 
Girl: waha kya karenge?? 
Boy: hawan karenge, hawan karenge. 
*blocked* 
--

Girl : see ya! 
Boy: var Ram chandra ki jay..! 
Blocked* 
--

Girl: Have a Good Day.... 
Boy: No thank you... I like Parle-G more... 
*BLOCKED* 
--

Girl: I need some Space. 
Boy: Ok then go to Rahul Gandhi's forehead. 
*Blocked* 
--

Girl puts up her status :" waiting for CHENNAI EXPRESS "… 
Boy: COOLIE hai kya? ? 
*Blocked* . 
--

Boy- Thank you 
Girl-My pleasure 
Boy- My Bajaj Pulsar 
*Blocked Forever*
--

She : Main tumse naaraz hu. Tum mujhe manaate hi nahi  
He : Tum Diwali ho? 

*Blocked*

--
Today two computers files got embarrassed when I unzipped them.


----------



## snap (Aug 19, 2013)

lol where did you get this


----------



## harshilsharma63 (Aug 20, 2013)

Nipun said:


> --
> Today two computers files got embarrassed when I unzipped them.


----------



## ashs1 (Aug 20, 2013)

lol !!! gr8 thread  !!!!

one from me : 

Question: Two hairs on a bald man’s head fall in love with each other and want to get married, but cannot. Why?

.

Ans: Because under Indian laws, “baal vivaah” is illegal.


----------



## Flash (Aug 20, 2013)

Man1: I haven't slept for days.
Man2: What? Aren't you tired?
Man1: No. I sleep at night!! :trollol:


----------



## vijju6091 (Aug 20, 2013)

Gearbox said:


> Man1: I haven't slept for days.
> Man2: What? Aren't you tired?
> Man1: No. I sleep at night!! :trollol:


----------



## cacklebolt (Aug 20, 2013)

Or Man of Stainless Steel


----------



## cacklebolt (Aug 20, 2013)

harshilsharma63 said:


> What would the sequel (if any) of Man of Steel would be?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Or Man Of Stainless Steel ?


----------



## manojkrishnaks (Aug 20, 2013)

Gearbox said:


> *Call to IT Department *
> 
> Caller:                      Hi, our printer is not working.
> Customer Service:    What is wrong with it?
> ...




Same thing happened in my office,Colleague raised a request to replace mouse saying "My mouse has been eaten by a mouse"


----------



## krishnandu.sarkar (Aug 20, 2013)

manojkrishnaks said:


> Same thing happened in my office,Colleague raised a request to replace mouse saying "My mouse has been eaten by a mouse"


----------



## Nipun (Aug 21, 2013)

Zindagi Ne Kiye Hain Bahut
Se Sitam
.
.
.
Teri Kasam
.
.
.
Shayari Khatam
.
.
.
Dekho Dus Ka Dum
.
.
.
Paayal Baje Cham Cham
.
.
.
Mobile Mein Balance Kam
.
.
.
Raat Ko Dikhta Hai Kam
.
.
.
P.J. Kyun Nahi Ho Raha
Khatam
.
.
.
Do You Believe In Pichla
Janam
.
.
.
Mere Dil Mein Hain Bahut
Saare Gham
.
.
.
Haddi Mazboot Karta Hai
Calcium
.
.
.
Shakespeare Ka Pehla
Naam Tha William
.
.
.
Daanth Kharab Karta Hai
Chewing Gum
.
.
.
Exam Mein Marks Aate Hain
Minimum
.
.
.
Hum Khelte Hain Maximum
.
.
.
Explain The Following
Term
.
.
.
Main Peeta Nahi Whiskey,
Beer Ya Rum
.
.
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
.
.
Khushi ke baad aata hai gum
.
.
.
Coffee me pite cheeni kam
.
.
.
Dukh me peete hai whisky aur rum
.
.
.
.
Pak me chalte hai goli our bum.
.
.
.
China Dikhata hai apna dum.
.
.
.
Ye kis P.J me phaans gaye hum
.
.
.
Diga diga dum dum
.
.
.
Karte hain PJ ko end ab hum
.
.
.
Vande Matram.


----------



## cacklebolt (Aug 21, 2013)

someone whatsapped me this. I wanted to destroy my phone. :screwy:


----------



## cacklebolt (Aug 21, 2013)

View attachment 11905


----------



## cacklebolt (Aug 21, 2013)

View attachment 11906


----------



## nims11 (Aug 21, 2013)

Girl: Tere paas spiderman 3 hai? 
Boy: Ha 
Girl: LAN pe shared hai? 
Boy: Nai
Girl: toh daal dega?
Boy: Nai, Chawal dunga...


----------



## snap (Sep 12, 2013)

cracked commentator said:
			
		

> I speak Batman. You may think that's awesome but it's not. Have you ever tried to order a cheeseburger sounding like batman? It's f*****g impossible. It usualy goes like this.
> 
> - WHEREH IS ITH!
> 
> ...



5char


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 12, 2013)

*Q:Chintu's mom has three sons.What is the name of the* *other  two?*

*A:Chin-1 & Chin-3*


----------



## cacklebolt (Sep 12, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> *Q:Chintu's mom has three sons.What is the name of the* *other  two?*
> 
> *A:Chin-1 & Chin-3*



Burn.


----------



## Zangetsu (Sep 12, 2013)

*Salesman:* Sir, Buy this new launched cheap Iphone 5c only @35k
*Customer:* 35k cheap!!!..do u see a 'C' written over my forehead


----------



## Flash (Sep 12, 2013)

'C' written over my forehead - ???
What that means?


----------



## Desmond (Sep 12, 2013)

Gearbox said:


> 'C' written over my forehead - ???
> What that means?



C***iya


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 12, 2013)

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very long pause….

“Java.”


----------



## Zangetsu (Sep 12, 2013)

Gearbox said:


> 'C' written over my forehead - ???
> What that means?



u didn't get the joke


----------



## Flash (Sep 12, 2013)

Zangetsu said:


> u didn't get the joke





DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> C***iya


I didn't know the C-word mentioned by DD earlier.


----------



## Desmond (Sep 12, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> “Knock, knock.”
> 
> “Who’s there?”
> 
> ...



I heard a similar one, only that there was Internet explorer instead of Java.


----------



## Desmond (Sep 12, 2013)

Three logicians are in a bar. Barkeep asks whether they would like a beer each. First says, "I don't know." The second says,"I don't know." The third says, "Yes."


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 12, 2013)

Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.


----------



## dashing.sujay (Sep 12, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.



That was a good one


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 12, 2013)

["hip","hip"]
  (hip hip array!)


----------



## amjath (Sep 12, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> ["hip","hip"]
> (hip hip array!)


----------



## Nerevarine (Sep 12, 2013)

Id rather kill myself than commit suicide


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 12, 2013)

Unix is user friendly. It's just very particular about who its friends are.


----------



## Desmond (Sep 12, 2013)

A guy and a girl are attending a java class. Suddenly the guy grabs the girl's b**b.

Girl : Hey! These are private.

Guy : But we are in the same class.


----------



## Nerevarine (Sep 12, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> A guy and a girl are attending a java class. Suddenly the guy grabs the girl's b**b.
> 
> Girl : Hey! These are private.
> 
> Guy : But we are in the same class.



This made me lol


----------



## Flash (Sep 12, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> A guy and a girl are attending a java class. Suddenly the guy grabs the girl's b**b.
> 
> Girl : Hey! These are private.
> 
> Guy : But we are in the same class.


Girl: Ok. Let's don't do it in Public.


----------



## TheSloth (Sep 12, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> Three logicians are in a bar. Barkeep asks whether they would like a beer each. First says, "I don't know." The second says,"I don't know." The third says, "Yes."



I didn't get the joke


----------



## Zangetsu (Sep 12, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> A guy and a girl are attending a java class. Suddenly the guy grabs the girl's b**b.
> 
> Girl : Hey! These are private.
> 
> Guy : But we are in the same class.


lets derive a child class


----------



## Desmond (Sep 12, 2013)

lightningfassst said:


> I didn't get the joke



Use some logic and try again. Won't be fun if I explain it to you.


----------



## Gen.Libeb (Sep 13, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> Use some logic and try again. Won't be fun if I explain it to you.



Logicians applying "AND"  & don't want the answer to be False ?


----------



## Desmond (Sep 13, 2013)

Gen.Libeb said:


> Logicians applying "AND"  & don't want the answer to be False ?



Not exactly.



> Three logicians are in a bar. Barkeep asks whether they would like a beer each. First says, "I don't know." The second says,"I don't know." The third says, "Yes."



The barkeep asked if they want a beer each. The first logician wanted a beer, but he did not know whether the other two wanted a beer or not, so he said I don't know. The second understood that the first one wanted a beer and he himself wanted a beer but he did not know if the third one wanted a beer, so he said I don't know. The third one understood that both of them wanted a beer and he himself wanted one so he said yes.

Another joke :

Logicians wife is having a baby. The doctor places the baby in the logicians hands.

Wife : Is it a boy or a girl?

Logician : Yes.


----------



## Flash (Sep 13, 2013)

It's a Geek joke, not a Poor joke.


----------



## SaiyanGoku (Sep 13, 2013)

TDF main page is trolling us  
see the marked region ( I am using Google Chrome BTW)

*www.thinkdigit.com/forum/attachments/chit-chat/12161d1379091903-poor-jokes-thread-explain.jpg


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 14, 2013)

int getRandomNumber() 
{ 
return 6; // chosen by fair dice roll 
              //guaranteed to be random
}


----------



## Nanducob (Sep 14, 2013)

Luffy said:


> TDF main page is trolling us
> see the marked region ( I am using Google Chrome BTW)
> 
> *www.thinkdigit.com/forum/attachments/chit-chat/12161d1379091903-poor-jokes-thread-explain.jpg


lol.. Spoiler show button was blue yesterday..



Luffy said:


> TDF main page is trolling us
> see the marked region ( I am using Google Chrome BTW)
> 
> *www.thinkdigit.com/forum/attachments/chit-chat/12161d1379091903-poor-jokes-thread-explain.jpg


lol.. Spoiler show button was blue yesterday..


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 14, 2013)

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."


----------



## Nerevarine (Sep 14, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> Not exactly.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 24, 2013)

A son asked his father(a programmer) why the sun rises in the east, and sets in the west. His response?
  It works, don't touch!


----------



## Nipun (Sep 24, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> A son asked his father(a programmer) why the sun rises in the east, and sets in the west. His response?
> It works, don't touch!


----------



## Desmond (Sep 24, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> A son asked his father(a programmer) why the sun rises in the east, and sets in the west. His response?
> It works, don't touch!



I confirm that we should never mess with legacy systems.


----------



## Flash (Sep 24, 2013)

C isn't that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void.


----------



## dashing.sujay (Sep 24, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> A son asked his father(a programmer) why the sun rises in the east, and sets in the west. His response?
> It works, don't touch!



Can anyone explain please ?


----------



## harshilsharma63 (Sep 24, 2013)

dashing.sujay said:


> Can anyone explain please ?



His father being a programmer believes in the principle that you should not alter a system that works. As in don't try to improve a code, you will break it.


----------



## RCuber (Sep 24, 2013)

dashing.sujay said:


> Can anyone explain please ?



something like "if it ain't broke, don't fix"


----------



## dashing.sujay (Sep 24, 2013)

harshilsharma63 said:


> His father being a programmer believes in the principle that you should not alter a system that works. As in don't try to improve a code, you will break it.





RCuber said:


> something like "if it ain't broke, don't fix"



Thanks


----------



## TheHumanBot (Sep 25, 2013)

I hear they make gender-specific versions of ActiveX now: ActiveXX and  ActiveXY. Unfortunately, ActiveXX overflows for a few days every month  and ActiveXY constantly tries to mount drives it shouldn't.


----------



## Flash (Sep 25, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> I hear they make gender-specific versions of ActiveX now: ActiveXX and ActiveXY. Unfortunately, ActiveXX overflows for a few days every month and ActiveXY constantly tries to mount drives it shouldn't.


----------



## harshilsharma63 (Sep 25, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> I hear they make gender-specific versions of ActiveX now: ActiveXX and  ActiveXY. Unfortunately, ActiveXX overflows for a few days every month  and ActiveXY constantly tries to mount drives it shouldn't.



lol rofl


----------



## suyash_123 (Sep 26, 2013)

Mine one now !!

Once a Teacher ask the a Student in Class  " Tell me the Spelling of Duniya in ENGLISH"

Student : Sir Duniya is Spells as "D" "U" "N" "I" "Y"  "A"   and Teacher Note it on Balckboard

Teacher  : does "Duniya" has I in It ??

Student : yes 

Teacher  : IF Duniya mai I Ho to kya Karna Chaiye ?

Student : doono sir !!

...
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
..
....
...
..
..
..

Teacher :  Duniya me Aye (I) ho to Love kar lo , Duniya me Aye (I) ho to Love kar lo  , Thoda sa jele Thoda thoda mar lo ...

Lolz


(NO Offense  - to All Hindu Guys  here - Me Hindu too - but cannot resist it )

BAL Ganesh : Dad Please!!!  Please Pick me in your  ARMS !! Please 

Lord Shiv : No Child no ..

BAL Ganesh  : Pleaseeeeeeeeee......

Lord Shiv : No Means No 

BAL Ganesh  : DAD !!!  COME on!! 

Lord Shiv : Pagala Ho Gyaa Kya be ? ????   Saap kat -le ga Na !!!


----------



## Harsh Pranami (Oct 2, 2013)

Old one...




Q: Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?????






A: Because they  don't have balls to scratch.


----------



## TheHumanBot (Oct 2, 2013)

Your mouse has moved. The system must reboot to effect the change!


----------



## Flash (Oct 2, 2013)

Harsh Pranami said:


> Old one...
> Q: Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?????
> A: Because they  don't have balls to scratch.


----------



## TheSloth (Oct 3, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> Your mouse has moved. The system must reboot to effect the change!



this one awesome


----------



## RCuber (Oct 3, 2013)

Gearbox said:


>



you are telling crazy about the joke he said or about the fact that girls do have balls.. only much bigger..


----------



## Flash (Oct 3, 2013)

^ The latter..


----------



## suyash_123 (Oct 8, 2013)

RCuber said:


> you are telling crazy about the joke he said or about the fact that girls do have balls.. only much bigger..



But point is abt scratching in morning right ?

LOLz


----------



## Desmond (Oct 10, 2013)

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."


----------



## TheHumanBot (Oct 11, 2013)

Why do anarchists prefer functional programming languages? Because they're stateless.


----------



## cutemug (Oct 11, 2013)

Ek bahot masoom si biwi thi..
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
..

.
.
arey neeche kya dekh rahe ho bhai,
joke toh upar hi tha


----------



## Desmond (Oct 14, 2013)

If you ascii wrong question, you will get wrong ansi.


----------



## CommanderShawnzer (Oct 14, 2013)

Pj =/= gj


----------



## Desmond (Oct 14, 2013)

That was a PJ.


----------



## deepakkrishnan (Oct 14, 2013)

Saw this one on whatsapp

 +  = 69


----------



## Nanducob (Oct 15, 2013)

deepakkrishnan said:


> Saw this one on whatsapp
> 
> +  = 69


do you have a screenshot?


----------



## TheHumanBot (Oct 15, 2013)

Physics Teacher: What is this measurable unit "µ" called? Student : Torrent


----------



## Desmond (Oct 15, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> Physics Teacher: What is this measurable unit "µ" called? Student : Torrent



 ...


----------



## deepakkrishnan (Oct 15, 2013)

Nanducob said:


> do you have a screenshot?



didn't get you ???


----------



## Flash (Oct 15, 2013)

deepakkrishnan said:


> didn't get you ???


He want the picture of 69 with real people.


----------



## deepakkrishnan (Oct 15, 2013)

Gearbox said:


> He want the picture of 69 with real people.



 My mind drifted to that direction .. but wanted to make sure ..

Any hooo .... the message I posted was the one that I got on whatsapp .. but with better smileys


----------



## Desmond (Oct 15, 2013)

You can take a screenshot in android by pressing the power button and the home key simultaneously.


----------



## Desmond (Oct 15, 2013)

Like this
*i.imgur.com/AuuMBp1.jpg


----------



## Nanducob (Oct 15, 2013)

deepakkrishnan said:


> didn't get you ???



hehe i thought it was some app named +  for 69 rupees


----------



## arijitsinha (Oct 15, 2013)

deepakkrishnan said:


> Saw this one on whatsapp
> 
> +  = 69



Modified .


----------



## Mr.Kickass (Oct 15, 2013)

That's more like it


----------



## deepakkrishnan (Oct 16, 2013)

arijitsinha said:


> Modified .


Shouldn't the colors be other way round...


----------



## Zangetsu (Oct 16, 2013)

A wife sends her naked pics to her soldier husband everyday with message below "I'll be waiting for u..like this my darling..come soon love.."
husband replies: "That's OK..but who is clicking these pics?"


----------



## sling-shot (Oct 16, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> Like this
> *i.imgur.com/AuuMBp1.jpg



OFFTOPIC:

Is there an official Digit Forum application for Android?


----------



## Zangetsu (Oct 16, 2013)

sling-shot said:


> OFFTOPIC:
> 
> Is there an official Digit Forum application for Android?


 thats Tapatalk forum app for android (works for many forums)


----------



## quagmire (Oct 19, 2013)

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." And asks the keeper:
"What's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving school children from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


----------



## Nipun (Oct 29, 2013)

Chances are that after Krrish and Krrish 3, it will be Krrish 5.. Yeah.. Krrish is an odd superhero

Uday Chopra is like that SC/ST guy in Dhoom series who doesn't deserve a seat in IIT but gets one before anyone else because of reservation.
Abhishek Bachan is like that son of a powerful man in town who doesn't deserve a seat anywhere, but gets one because of his dad.


----------



## amjath (Oct 29, 2013)

Nipun said:


> Chances are that after Krrish and Krrish 3, it will be Krrish 5.. Yeah.. Krrish is an odd superhero
> 
> Uday Chopra is like that SC/ST guy in Dhoom series who doesn't deserve a seat in IIT but gets one before anyone else because of reservation.
> Abhishek Bachan is like that son of a powerful man in town who doesn't deserve a seat anywhere, but gets one because of his dad.



 what the hell got into you man


----------



## Zangetsu (Oct 29, 2013)

Nipun said:


> Chances are that after Krrish and Krrish 3, it will be Krrish 5.. Yeah.. Krrish is an odd superhero
> 
> Uday Chopra is like that SC/ST guy in Dhoom series who doesn't deserve a seat in IIT but gets one before anyone else because of reservation.
> Abhishek Bachan is like that son of a powerful man in town who doesn't deserve a seat anywhere, but gets one because of his dad.


ladka puggal ho gaya kaa


----------



## $hadow (Oct 29, 2013)

I asked a Chinese girl if she would come out with me for a date and I asked her number so I could call her.
She got excited and said: sex sex sex free sex tonight... wow such an open girl...
Later, my friend told me that she really meant to say 6663629!?


----------



## bssunilreddy (Oct 29, 2013)

$hadow said:


> I asked a Chinese girl if she would come out with me for a date and I asked her number so I could call her.
> She got excited and said: sex sex sex free sex tonight... wow such an open girl...
> Later, my friend told me that she really meant to say 6663629!?



Wow such an accent from the Chinese...


----------



## Nipun (Oct 29, 2013)

amjath said:


> what the hell got into you man





Zangetsu said:


> ladka puggal ho gaya kaa




Kya hua?


----------



## Flash (Oct 29, 2013)

$hadow said:


> I asked a Chinese girl if she would come out with me for a date and I asked her number so I could call her.
> She got excited and said: sex sex sex free sex tonight... wow such an open girl...
> Later, my friend told me that she really meant to say 6663629!?


----------



## amjath (Oct 29, 2013)

Nipun said:


> Kya hua?



ur post and title any similar or there is a poor joke hidden inside ur post


----------



## Nipun (Oct 29, 2013)

amjath said:


> ur post and title any similar or there is a poor joke hidden inside ur post




What I posted, were they not jokes? Or was that a true story?


----------



## Flash (Oct 29, 2013)

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]A Beautiful Girl Goes To Professor Room [/FONT]and Say : I'll Do AnyThing To Pass In The Exams. . . . 
Professor Says: NOW OPEN YOUR


Spoiler



Books & Study. . . .


----------



## quagmire (Oct 29, 2013)

^y u no use sub spoilers for more suspense..


----------



## $hadow (Oct 29, 2013)

Gearbox said:


> [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]A Beautiful Girl Goes To Professor Room [/FONT]and Say : I'll Do AnyThing To Pass In The Exams. . . .
> Professor Says: NOW OPEN YOUR
> 
> 
> ...



That's a good one.


----------



## TheHumanBot (Oct 30, 2013)

cop pulls me over and asked "do you know why i pulled you over?" me: "because spider was not invited for avengers?"


----------



## SaiyanGoku (Oct 31, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> cop pulls me over and asked "do you know why i pulled you over?" me: "because *spiderman* was not invited for avengers?"



Even Wolverine wasn't included


----------



## TheHumanBot (Nov 8, 2013)

There are only three infinite things in the world:

1. - The Universe.

2. - Human stupidity.

3. - The "It is less than a minute ..." Windows.


----------



## ariftwister (Nov 8, 2013)

TheHumanBot said:


> There are only three infinite things in the world:
> 
> 1. - The Universe.
> 
> ...



Little modified version.

There are only three infinite things in the world:

1. - The Universe.

2. - Human stupidity.

3. - The amount of time you say to your mother that you can't pause online game.!


----------



## CommanderShawnzer (Nov 8, 2013)

ariftwister said:


> Little modified version.
> 
> There are only three infinite things in the world:
> 
> ...



modified a little bit more
There are only three infinite things in the world:

1. - The Universe.

2. - Human stupidity.

3. - The amount of time before i get my  gaming pc


----------



## Theodre (Nov 8, 2013)

One man enters into a barbershop thinking it is a hotel :

Man : What's in the menu?

Barber : Cutting and shaving!

Man : 2 plates each


----------



## Nipun (Nov 8, 2013)

ariftwister said:


> Little modified version.
> 
> There are only three infinite things in the world:
> 
> ...



Arnab Goswami's "The nation wants to know"
Win RAR's trial period.
MDH wale uncle ji's age.


----------



## Piyush (Nov 8, 2013)

Nipun said:


> MDH wale uncle ji's age.



Besharam nazar mat laga un uncle ki age ko


----------



## Desmond (Nov 12, 2013)

What does the military and a fart have in common?



Spoiler



Air force.


----------



## Flash (Nov 12, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> What does the military and a fart have in common?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


.....


----------



## Nanducob (Nov 12, 2013)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> What does the military and a fart have in common?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Man i never thought you would pull out these kind of jokes,not because of fart,but the joke felt 'muddy' if you know what i mean.


----------



## TheHumanBot (Nov 13, 2013)

I'm so lazy I awoke from the coma and I pretended to be asleep five more minutes.


----------



## Desmond (Nov 13, 2013)

Nanducob said:


> Man i never thought you would pull out these kind of jokes,not because of fart,but the joke felt 'muddy' if you know what i mean.



You mean "soiled"?

New one :



> Asian Keanu arrives at party.
> 
> Asian Keanu gets bored.
> 
> Asian Keanu Reeves.



Also one of the best anti-jokes I found :



> A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before it's knocked over a couple of glasses and soiled itself. Needless to say, the bar is closed for the rest of the day. Jesus walks up to the bar, but it's closed for hygiene reasons and he goes next door to a hotel. He hands the receptionist a couple of nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?" The receptionist takes a moment to understand, not speaking Aramaic, but is able to explain in mime that nails are not legal tender. After Jesus leaves disgruntledly, a duck that has been kind of harrassing the receptionist for the last few days by asking for grapes waddles in. The duck asks if the receptionist has any nails, and the receptionist finally snaps. Deciding to walk out on the most ludicrous workday of his life, receptionist goes to the bar, and is infuriated to find it closed. He jimmies open a window, not caring who sees. But two old friends across the street, a priest and a rabbi, DO see. They decide they should do something to calm this agitated man down, and follow him into the bar. The bartender, having spent all day cleaning up after the horse, sees the receptionist, the priest and the rabbi come into the bar, and stops scrubbing **** long enough to ask "Is this some kind of a joke?"


----------



## Nanducob (Nov 13, 2013)

^yeah soiled


----------



## TheHumanBot (Nov 16, 2013)

She: What operating system do you recommend to install on my new computer?

ME: Windows XP.

She: Thanks XD.


----------



## prehistoricgamer (Nov 16, 2013)

Probably old, but one of the PJs I still remember that i facepalmed so hard to. 

What did the male chimney say to the female chimney?



Spoiler



You are so hot



What did the female chimney say to the male chimney?



Spoiler



HOW THE FCK SHUD I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT CHIMNEYS? Ask the chimneys


----------



## Nanducob (Nov 16, 2013)

NikiNfOuR said:


> One man enters into a barbershop thinking it is a hotel :
> 
> Man : What's in the menu?
> 
> ...



i know where you are from


----------



## TheHumanBot (Dec 14, 2013)

Customer: I use Windows.
Support: Yes.
Customer: My computer is not working properly.
Support: You've said that already.


----------



## sling-shot (Mar 5, 2014)

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also, to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.

Still couldn't? Then see below.........

Think hard

Common.............

Tired....?

Wanna know the answer????

Okay........ here is the Answer............

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!!


----------



## nikku_hot123 (Mar 6, 2014)

WTF... Lolol


----------



## Nanducob (Mar 8, 2014)

A Guy in a hurry used the
ladies toilet in a posh
hotel.. 


He sat down and
noticed four buttons -
WW, WA, PP & APR...








Curious, he pressed WW &
his butt was gently
sprayed with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much..!!








He then pressed WA & a
blast of WARM AIR dried
him up. Still loving it..., 








He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him
smell fresh. 
Feeling pampered.., 








He decided to press the last button APR.








He later woke up in a
hospital
















A Nurse smiled & said to
him  "Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER.








Your balls are in the jar
over there


----------



## SaiyanGoku (Mar 8, 2014)

^


----------



## Nerevarine (Mar 9, 2014)

^


----------



## sling-shot (Apr 12, 2014)

One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him Ramayana. 




Donald duck is impressed and starts reading verses from Ramayana. 





Mickey Mouse continues to listen. After completing the whole 


Ramayan, Donald Duck lets out a big sigh and asks Mickey Mouse, 


"Mickey Mouse, tell me...who was the father of Lord Ram?" 





Mickey Mouse cannot. 





Angry, Donald duck, again asks, " Mickey Mouse!!! tell me...what 


was the capital of Ram's kingdom!" 





Mickey Mouse cannot answer again. 





Infuriated, Donald Duck kicks Mickey Mouse hard, and MickeyMouse 


goes and collides with a wall. As soon as he collides with the 


wall,he gets up and starts saying verses of Ramayana from start to 


end.... 





How did this happen??? 








SCROLL DOWN 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


::: 


Think Think.... 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


- 


Ok 


- 


- 


- 








After hitting the wall, Mickey becomes 





Wall-Mickey (Valmiki)...


----------



## flyingcow (Apr 12, 2014)

dolan pls


----------



## Desmond (Apr 12, 2014)

sling-shot said:


> One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him Ramayana.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Actually is Dolan.


----------



## flyingcow (Apr 13, 2014)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> Actually is Dolan.


pls dnt quot longe posts ddosmund


----------



## Inceptionist (Apr 13, 2014)

flyingcow said:


> pls dnt quot longe posts ddosmund



DDoSmund? nice name.


----------



## Desmond (Apr 13, 2014)

flyingcow said:


> pls dnt quot longe posts ddosmund



flyingcow pls

*img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130816031929/thefakegees/images/f/fc/Dolan_vector_by_sapphirebeam-d5aantn.png


----------



## Faun (Apr 13, 2014)

Ok guys, on topic now.


----------



## snap (Apr 15, 2014)

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

*www.bash.org/?top


----------



## juliastiles406 (Apr 17, 2014)

How do you cut roads?????
by laughing......
Because "Haste Haste Cut Jaye Raste"


----------



## Nanducob (May 23, 2014)

Dis is one of best suspense jokes

A Father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, 
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. 
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, 
"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. 

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. 
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said, 
"I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting 


----------



## Zangetsu (May 23, 2014)

A guy was walking down a dense forest where he saw 3 men sitting on 3 trees
he noticed them closely, 1st man was shouting _vrrmmmmm..vrooooommmmm...pe pe_ and moving his hand like controlling steering.
so the guy understood he is simulating the tree as a car and himself (the man) as driver.
then he moved on to 2nd man who was doing the same but with moving his body more fiercely and crying out loud...._bhrrrrooooomm,bhhhhhroooom...._
so, the guys knew he was also doing the same....but when he moved on to the 3rd Man......who was sitting idle and doing nothing just looking up above the skies,
birds and wind flows,leaves etc (such like he was thinking of something)

so, the guy (spectator) thought why only this Man is not doing anything..so out of curiosity he asked the 3rd Man..."hey pal, why u r sitting idle....your other partners are driving (simulating) cars..so y don't u do the same....."
the moment the 3rd Man heard that he said "Ohhhhhhh my god....the Race has been started.....vrooooooooooooovrmmmrmrmmroomoommormmmm...!!!!"


----------



## 10 numberi (May 25, 2014)

*fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t1.0-9/p180x540/179739_602510423107315_1608238817_n.jpg


----------



## .jRay. (May 25, 2014)

A new trend of shortening names has begun in politics. Narendra Modi is called "Namo" and Rahul Gandhi is called "RaGa".

Harish Goyal and Mukesh Tomar have decided to quit politics.

Supriya Sule did not respond to our queries


----------



## nikku_hot123 (May 25, 2014)

^^Is "salah" written so small deliberately???


----------



## dashing.sujay (May 25, 2014)

.jRay. said:


> A new trend of shortening names has begun in politics. Narendra Modi is called "Namo" and Rahul Gandhi is called "RaGa".
> 
> Harish Goyal and Mukesh Tomar have decided to quit politics.
> 
> Supriya Sule did not respond to our queries



I was getting this msg from many persons since day before.


----------



## .jRay. (May 25, 2014)

dashing.sujay said:


> I was getting this msg from many persons since day before.



Yeah. I received it day before too.


----------



## Nanducob (May 25, 2014)

HaGo MuTo SuSu doesnt make any sense in hindi(iiar),english..


----------



## mobimonkey (May 26, 2014)

^


----------



## flyingcow (May 26, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> HaGo MuTo SuSu doesnt make any sense in hindi(iiar),english..


you got that right, the mentioned words dont have any meaning in hindi..


----------



## Nanducob (May 26, 2014)

Hmmm maybe they are badwords in chinese or japanese. Cos they sounds like one.


----------



## .jRay. (May 26, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> HaGo MuTo SuSu doesnt make any sense in hindi(iiar),english..



You're kidding right?


_Update:_

In hindi.



Spoiler



HaGo means to sh!t
MuTo means to piss
SuSu means piss


----------



## nomad47 (May 26, 2014)

A man whose wife went into labor calls 108
Man: Send the ambulance. My wife has gone into labor.
Operator: Is this her first born?
Man: No, this is her husband


----------



## Flash (May 26, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> HaGo MuTo SuSu doesnt make any sense in hindi(iiar),english..


I had the same doubt, thanks to [MENTION=137438].jRay.[/MENTION] now i know the meaning.


----------



## Nanducob (May 26, 2014)

.jRay. said:


> You're kidding right?
> 
> 
> _Update:_
> ...



Dont teach me hindi i got 96 in hindi exam


----------



## .jRay. (May 26, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> Dont teach me hindi i got 96 in hindi exam


 okay


----------



## RCuber (Jun 2, 2014)

> A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science, mathematics, and formatting Reddit comments so they get the most upvotes. One day, the Chief's wife gives birth to... a white child!
> 
> The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock. The chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look, you're the only white man we've ever seen around here, and this woman just gave birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
> 
> ...



From Reddit


----------



## Nipun (Jun 2, 2014)

^ Predicted that.


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 2, 2014)

Hmm.not a joke..but there are places in Columbia where young boys are allowed to spend tiem with donkeys until they get married.


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 2, 2014)

RCuber said:


> From Reddit



I didn't get it. Could anyone explain?


----------



## powerhoney (Jun 2, 2014)

lightningfassst said:


> I didn't get it. Could anyone explain?




Not for minors, I assure you!!!


----------



## .jRay. (Jun 2, 2014)

RCuber said:


> From Reddit



Lol..


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 2, 2014)

I am no minor. Tell tell bolo bolo


----------



## 10 numberi (Jun 2, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> Dont teach me hindi i got 96 in hindi exam


What happened to the other 4 marks. Who will get the other 4 marks.


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 2, 2014)

10 numberi said:


> What happened to the other 4 marks. Who will get the other 4 marks.


Its obviously the evaluators fault xd


----------



## powerhoney (Jun 3, 2014)

lightningfassst said:


> I am no minor. Tell tell bolo bolo



Maybe someone else can help!!! I don't wanna get banned!!! Lol!!!


----------



## moniker (Jun 3, 2014)

lightningfassst said:


> I didn't get it. Could anyone explain?



Hint: bestiality


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 3, 2014)

[MENTION=146873]moniker[/MENTION]: ooooooooookkkkkkkkkk. Thanks for hint


----------



## powerhoney (Jun 3, 2014)

lightningfassst said:


> [MENTION=146873]moniker[/MENTION]: ooooooooookkkkkkkkkk. Thanks for hint



So, you understood??? 
Lol!!!


----------



## kaz (Jun 3, 2014)

Centuries with the least number of balls:
Azhar - 62
Sehwag - 60
Virat - 52
Jayasuriya - 48
Lara - 45
Boucher - 44
Afridi - 37
Gayle - 30



Dhritharashtra - 2


----------



## ashs1 (Jun 3, 2014)

kaz said:


> Centuries with the least number of balls:
> Azhar - 62
> Sehwag - 60
> Virat - 52
> ...



  awesome !


----------



## powerhoney (Jun 3, 2014)

^^ lol  I


----------



## .jRay. (Jun 3, 2014)

kaz said:


> Centuries with the least number of balls:
> Azhar - 62
> Sehwag - 60
> Virat - 52
> ...



Lmao .


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 3, 2014)

I didnt get this one either, Dhrithrashtra?


----------



## nomad47 (Jun 3, 2014)

lightningfassst said:


> I didnt get this one either, Dhrithrashtra?



Lightningfassst is as fast as BSNL broadband.


----------



## powerhoney (Jun 3, 2014)

nomad47 said:


> Lightningfassst is as fast as BSNL broadband.



Lol!!!


----------



## kaz (Jun 3, 2014)

lightningfassst said:


> I didnt get this one either, Dhrithrashtra?



I didn't even knew the person Dhritrashtra even though I got it as I read the message...Century with 2balls...  Now you get that?


----------



## powerhoney (Jun 3, 2014)

lightningfassst said:


> I didnt get this one either, Dhrithrashtra?



Dhrithrashtra had 100 children... Go figure!!!


----------



## Hrishi (Jun 3, 2014)

powerhoney said:


> Dhrithrashtra had 100 children... Go figure!!!



Plz.....Vicky donor has more than him....


----------



## kaz (Jun 3, 2014)

powerhoney said:


> Dhrithrashtra had 100 children... Go figure!!!



Wait I google this person


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 3, 2014)

kaz said:


> Centuries with the least number of balls:
> Azhar - 62
> Sehwag - 60
> Virat - 52
> ...



How is kohli even in the list?Hes not even married


----------



## kaz (Jun 3, 2014)

Yeah 100 sons and 1 daughter...The fresh air then really made a difference in stamina IMO 

- - - Updated - - -



Nanducob said:


> How is kohli even in the list?Hes not even married



Bad logic...Marriage is not necessary in both the cases  *lulz*


----------



## anirbandd (Jun 3, 2014)

Ohhhhhh this thread!!!


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 3, 2014)

powerhoney said:


> Dhrithrashtra had 100 children... Go figure!!!



Thanks.


----------



## kaz (Jun 3, 2014)

One more:
Nandu ek party me gaya aur wahan usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
Kuch deer baad toilet se rone ki awaaz aayi "hey bhagwan! yaa jaan nikal de, ya naan nikal de"


----------



## SaiyanGoku (Jun 3, 2014)

kaz said:


> One more:
> Nandu ek party me gaya aur wahan usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
> Kuch deer baad toilet se rone ki awaaz aayi "hey bhagwan! yaa jaan nikal de, ya naan nikal de"





only 8 of them?


----------



## kaz (Jun 4, 2014)

Guys just go through the comments here: CBSE Topper *lulz*


----------



## .jRay. (Jun 4, 2014)

kaz said:


> Guys just go through the comments here: CBSE Topper *lulz*



Itne me 3 garib bacche pass ho jate..  Rofl.


----------



## Nipun (Jun 4, 2014)

.jRay. said:


> Itne me 3 garib bacche pass ho jate..  Rofl.



On the day it was posted, there was another comment, "Baaki ke 0.4% kaha gaye? Agarwal khandan ki naak katwa di tune... Aaj ke baad shakal na dikhaio!".


----------



## kaz (Jun 8, 2014)

*scontent-b-cdg.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t1.0-9/q71/s720x720/10363113_10152139938468663_3765523631400732746_n.jpg


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 8, 2014)

kaz said:


> One more:
> Nandu ek party me gaya aur wahan usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
> Kuch deer baad toilet se rone ki awaaz aayi "hey bhagwan! yaa jaan nikal de, ya naan nikal de"


Next time please use ur original name describing ur personal experience


----------



## kaz (Jun 8, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> Next time please use ur original name describing ur personal experience



It lasted so long that you came today..After 5 days


----------



## Harsh Pranami (Jun 10, 2014)

kaz said:


> One more:
> Nandu ek party me gaya aur wahan usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
> Kuch deer baad toilet se rone ki awaaz aayi "hey bhagwan! yaa jaan nikal de, ya naan nikal de"



Mast. 

- - - Updated - - -

Tell me if this is too much 


Once pappu was standing alone at bus stop on one hot sunny afternoon. Rakhi S@\/@nt passes by. She says to pappu: "Dhup me kyu khada hai?"

Pappu murmurs to himself: "S@@li aar paar dekh leti hai"


----------



## TheSloth (Jun 10, 2014)

Harsh Pranami said:


> Mast.
> 
> - - - Updated - - -
> 
> ...


----------



## kaz (Jun 10, 2014)

*fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t1.0-9/q71/s720x720/10394508_880732661940731_4597567363470530780_n.jpg


----------



## Harsh Pranami (Jun 11, 2014)

kaz said:


> *fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t1.0-9/q71/s720x720/10394508_880732661940731_4597567363470530780_n.jpg



???


----------



## Desmond (Jun 11, 2014)

All hail Norinder Mudi. Teak che?


----------



## .jRay. (Jun 11, 2014)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> All hail Norinder Mudi. Teak che?



Teak che. Naw guve mi sum dakola.



kaz said:


> *fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t1.0-9/q71/s720x720/10394508_880732661940731_4597567363470530780_n.jpg



Iz mudi magixx.


----------



## Nipun (Jun 11, 2014)

kaz said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> *fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t1.0-9/q71/s720x720/10394508_880732661940731_4597567363470530780_n.jpg



This is not the pics thread!


----------



## kaz (Jun 11, 2014)

Nipun said:


> This is not the pics thread!



You mean to say there is no joke in that pic 

- - - Updated - - -



.jRay. said:


> Teak che. Naw guve mi sum dakola.



No dhoklas in New Delhi...They say Dhoklas have melt into Mango Shake


----------



## Nipun (Jun 11, 2014)

kaz said:


> You mean to say there is no joke in that pic



You mean to say only non-joke images go to that thread?


----------



## kaz (Jun 11, 2014)

Nipun said:


> You mean to say only non-joke images go to that thread?



Report it then...Let the mods decide that


----------



## CyberKID (Jun 11, 2014)

[MENTION=112980]Nipun[/MENTION], kaz, ok guys, let's fight it out


----------



## nomad47 (Jun 11, 2014)

Fight fight till death (read ban)


----------



## sling-shot (Jun 11, 2014)

There exists an "All fail/epic/funny pictures" thread. So please post pictures there.

Only PJs here.


----------



## kaz (Jun 11, 2014)

sling-shot said:


> There exists an "All fail/epic/funny pictures" thread. So please post pictures there.
> 
> Only PJs here.


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 11, 2014)

A regular joke in whatsapp
.

This is the final notice! Hello everyone, it seems that all the warnings were real, the use of WhatsApp cost money from summer 2014. If you send this string to 18 different on your list, your icon will be blue and will be free for you. If you do not believe me see tomorrow at 6 pm ending WhatsApp   have to pay to open it, this is by law This message is to inform all of our users, our servers have recently been very congested, so we are asking you to help us solve this problem. We require our active users to forward this message to each of the people in your contact list to confirm our active users using WhatsApp, if you do not send this message to all your contacts WhatsApp will then start to charge you. Your account will remain inactive with the consequence of losing all your contacts. Message from Jim Balsamic (CEO of Whatsapp ) we have had an over usage of user names on whatsapp Messenger. We are requesting all users to forward this message to their entire contact list. If you do not forward this message, we will take it as your account is invalid and it will be deleted within the next 48 hours. Please DO NOT ignore this message or whatsapp will no longer recognise your activation. If you wish to re-activate your account after it has been deleted, a charge of 25.00 will be added to your monthly bill. We are also aware of the issue involving the pictures updates not showing. We are working diligently at fixing this problem and it will be up and running as soon as possible. Thank you for your cooperation from the Whatsapp team” WhatsApp is going to cost us money soon. The only way that it will stay free is if you are a frequent user i.e. you have at least 10 people you are chatting with. To become a frequent user send this message to 10 people who receive it (2 ticks) and your WhatsApp logo should turn blue


----------



## anirbandd (Jun 11, 2014)

oh wow thanks!!! i'll fwd this asap to other guys and save their whatsapp accounts too!! 



Spoiler


----------



## powerhoney (Jun 11, 2014)

anirbandd said:


> oh wow thanks!!! I'll fwd this asap to other guys and save their whatsapp accounts too!!
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler



:-d :-d :-d


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 11, 2014)

Loyalty Tests...

Test 1:
Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour for hubby..

Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people

Total silence...



Test 2:
A couple sees a hot girl.. 
Wife: So big, aren't they? 
Husband: Yes 
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural. 
Wife: Ear-rings & Natural?? 
.
Total Silence 
.

Best one
Test 3:
Men will always be Men - 
Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra. Their guide explained to them that they might see some ladies bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all. When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on. Next day they started the yatra and one of the men in the group said- "HARI OM" and rest of them said- "KIDHAR HAI, KIDHAR HAI!" ... 
Men ll b  men...


----------



## anirbandd (Jun 11, 2014)

heh lol


----------



## Nanducob (Jun 11, 2014)

Subscribing...


----------



## ashs1 (Jun 11, 2014)

Test 2 and Test3 were awesome !!


----------



## haniya11 (Jun 24, 2014)

hahaaha thats cool.....


----------



## kaz (Jul 4, 2014)

1 Aadmi Raat Mei Sharab Pee Kar Ghar Aaya,
Aur Sote-Sote Bhagwan Ko Pyara Ho Gaya.

Upar Jakar Usne Bhagwan Se Jeene Ka Dusra Chance Maanga,
Bhagwan Ne Use Murgi Banakr Waps Bhej Diya.
Murgi Bankar Usne 1 Anda Diya,

Jaise Hi Usne Ande Ko Dekha To Uske Hosh Udd Gaye...
Anda Sone Ka Tha..
Khushi Mein Usne zor lagaya aur Ek or Anda Diya.....

Aur
Jaise Hi Wo Teesra Anda Dene k liye ZORR Lagane laga to Uske Sar Pe Kisi Ne Joota Maara...
Aur Jab Usne Aankhein Kholi To Usne Dekha Biwi Chilla Rahi Thi....
? 
?
?

Uth Jaa kutte !!!!!
Subah subah Bistar Pe Tatti Kiye Jaa Raha Hai..!!


----------



## kaz (Jul 8, 2014)

In train
TTE: Kya karte ho
Me: B.Tech
TTE: Aaj to sab engineer hi hain
me trolled....


----------



## powerhoney (Jul 8, 2014)

kaz said:


> In train
> TTE: Kya karte ho
> Me: B.Tech
> TTE: Aaj to sab engineer hi hain
> me trolled....


Didn't understand... 
Explain...


----------



## ashs1 (Jul 8, 2014)

^another version : 
Relatives or parents's friends : Kya karte ho beta ??
Me : Engineering
Relatives or parents's friends : acchha..humme Lagaa Padaai-Wadaai Karte Hoge..  
Me :


----------



## kaz (Jul 8, 2014)

[MENTION=139494]powerhoney[/MENTION]  
  [MENTION=173432]ashs1[/MENTION] OMG


----------



## anirbandd (Jul 8, 2014)

kaz said:


> 1 Aadmi Raat Mei Sharab Pee Kar Ghar Aaya,
> Aur Sote-Sote Bhagwan Ko Pyara Ho Gaya.
> 
> Upar Jakar Usne Bhagwan Se Jeene Ka Dusra Chance Maanga,
> ...


Holy ****!!!!


----------



## sling-shot (Jul 30, 2014)

Why don't people clap in Afghanistan? 
?
??
???
????
?????
Because there is 'tali-ban'


----------



## TheSloth (Aug 1, 2014)

a good pj after long time


----------



## arijitsinha (Aug 1, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> A regular joke in whatsapp
> .
> 
> This is the final notice! Hello everyone, it seems that all the warnings were real, the use of WhatsApp cost money from summer 2014. If you send this string to 18 different on your list, your icon will be blue and will be free for you. If you do not believe me see tomorrow at 6 pm ending WhatsApp   have to pay to open it, this is by law This message is to inform all of our users, our servers have recently been very congested, so we are asking you to help us solve this problem. We require our active users to forward this message to each of the people in your contact list to confirm our active users using WhatsApp, if you do not send this message to all your contacts WhatsApp will then start to charge you. Your account will remain inactive with the consequence of losing all your contacts. Message from Jim Balsamic (CEO of Whatsapp ) we have had an over usage of user names on whatsapp Messenger. We are requesting all users to forward this message to their entire contact list. If you do not forward this message, we will take it as your account is invalid and it will be deleted within the next 48 hours. Please DO NOT ignore this message or whatsapp will no longer recognise your activation. If you wish to re-activate your account after it has been deleted, a charge of 25.00 will be added to your monthly bill. We are also aware of the issue involving the pictures updates not showing. We are working diligently at fixing this problem and it will be up and running as soon as possible. Thank you for your cooperation from the Whatsapp team” WhatsApp is going to cost us money soon. The only way that it will stay free is if you are a frequent user i.e. you have at least 10 people you are chatting with. To become a frequent user send this message to 10 people who receive it (2 ticks) and your WhatsApp logo should turn blue



Once I got this msg from someone.

...


10 seconds later "Not Working"


----------



## Flash (Aug 1, 2014)

^ It should goto 'dumbest thing about technology' thread..


----------



## ramakanta (Aug 2, 2014)

Boy asked God, 'Why she loves rose which dies in a day,
 but doesn't love me who dies for her every day?'
God replied, 'Mast hai! Put it on Facebook!'

- - - Updated - - -

*Dangerous Dosti: *

Main ghar late aaya toH Dad ne puchha:"Where were you?"

Maine kaha:"Friend k ghar tha."

Dad ne mere hi samne mere 10 friends ko call kiya.


4 ne kaha:"Ha Uncle,Yehi par tha." 



2 ne kaha:"Abhi just nikla hai." 



3 ne kaha:"Yehi hai Uncle,Padh raha hai,Phone du kya?" 







1 ne to had hi kar di,kaha:"Ha Papa bolo kya hua"...!!!



 (Ab bolo HAR EK friend zaroori hota hai!!)


----------



## sling-shot (Aug 6, 2014)

Ek photographer aaj giraftaar ho gaya tha. Kyunki usne Canon ko haath mein liya tha!


----------



## Flash (Aug 6, 2014)

^ Guys, please post the jokes in English. :/
It's the common language, which works for all.


----------



## sling-shot (Aug 6, 2014)

Flash said:


> ^ Guys, please post the jokes in English. :/
> It's the common language, which works for all.


OK here you go...

And-a-man walked into Nicobar.


----------



## amjath (Aug 7, 2014)

I demand a translation


----------



## Anorion (Aug 7, 2014)

sorry, nsfw


----------



## amjath (Aug 7, 2014)

Anorion said:


> sorry, nsfw


Ah, You removed it. Good


----------



## kaz (Aug 7, 2014)

Anorion said:


> sorry, nsfw



Why you do this


----------



## ashs1 (Aug 7, 2014)

Come on anorion.. Not exactly a nsfw joke..
 :-/..rough translation :



Spoiler



A boy drops a lady at her home. The lady requests the boy to stay at her place as it was getting dark and late. As it was indeed late, the boy agreed. The lady said : you can sleep in bittu's room. The boy politely refuses and said : it's Ok, aunty. I'll sleep here in the living room couch. 
Next day, a beautiful girl comes and wakes him up. 
Boy : whoa.. Who are you?? 
Girl : I am bittu.. Who are you?? 
Boy : I am an idiot.


----------



## sling-shot (Aug 7, 2014)

Why is it easy to change a light bulb?
Because it is a lite bulb


----------



## Anorion (Aug 7, 2014)

ashs1 said:


> Come on anorion.. Not exactly a nsfw joke..
> :-/..rough translation



yep, I know there are varying definitions of nsfw, but the hindi version had a swear word. plus it was in hindi.


----------



## rohitshubham (Aug 9, 2014)

Subscribing


----------



## TheHumanBot (Aug 13, 2014)

It must be horrible to be Japanese and have the pixelated genitals.


----------



## harshilsharma63 (Aug 13, 2014)

TheHumanBot said:


> It must be horrible to be Japanese and have the pixelated genitals.



I wouldn't have understand it if I haven't watched a Japanese porn


----------



## TheHumanBot (Aug 13, 2014)

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it back and forth, chances are it is not that good.


----------



## Nipun (Aug 13, 2014)

*on call*
He- hi
She- so ri hu main
He- arre dosti me no sorry no thanks.


----------



## Desmond (Aug 13, 2014)

Nipun said:


> *on call*
> He- hi
> She- so ri hu main
> He- arre dosti me no sorry no thanks.



Did you do this IRL [MENTION=112980]Nipun[/MENTION]?


----------



## sling-shot (Aug 13, 2014)

Q : How many Ishanth Sharmas are required to change a light bulb?

A : Only one. He is 6' 4".


----------



## Nipun (Aug 13, 2014)

DeSmOnD dAvId said:


> Did you do this IRL [MENTION=112980]Nipun[/MENTION]?



Naah, but I did ask people this:

Phone me battery hai?
"Yes"/"3% hai"/"Ha shayad"/"Charge ho rha hai"
Phone me assault hai? 

What's blue and not heavy?
Light Blue! 

Sach baat itni chubhti kyo hai?
Kyonki usme point hota hai! 

Now people respond to me 'hi' with a 'Nai, koi joke nai sunna!'.


----------



## arijitsinha (Aug 19, 2014)

Spoiler



*d3dsacqprgcsqh.cloudfront.net/photo/aXEEgVP_700b.jpg


----------



## kaz (Aug 19, 2014)

move it here *www.digit.in/forum/cafe-games/1480...ics-here-nsfw-content-will-lead-bans-164.html


----------



## kaz (Aug 27, 2014)

15 Absolutely Hilarious Flipkart Reviews. 9th Will Crack You Up


----------



## beingGamer (Aug 27, 2014)

kaz said:


> 15 Absolutely Hilarious Flipkart Reviews. 9th Will Crack You Up



read that on fb.
Thanks god for a spare kidney


----------



## .jRay. (Aug 27, 2014)

How does ISRO throw a party? They planet.



Spoiler



No claps please.


----------



## sumit05 (Sep 18, 2014)

ACP Pradyuman : Laash Mein Se Kidney Gayab Hai..Iska Matlab Samjhe Daya?
Daya : Kya Sir?
ACP: Marne Se Pehle Zaroor Isne iPhone 6 Kharida Hoga!


----------



## Shah (Sep 18, 2014)

Why do Java developers wear spectacles?



Spoiler



Because, They can't see sharp(C#)


----------



## Flash (Sep 18, 2014)

^ It's not a poor joke, but a technology joke.  But i liked it.


----------



## $hadow (Sep 18, 2014)

Shah said:


> Why do Java developers wear spectacles?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


good one


----------



## sumit05 (Sep 23, 2014)

Congratulations... iphone 6 launched...
The best feature of iPhone 6 is that if you hold it upside down it becomes iPhone 9.

iPhone users who've been saying, "I love my small iPhone, Android phones are too big for me," all these years... Apple just orphaned you...!!!"

Gujjus will not be affected by iPhone 6 launch... They will continue to flash their iPhone 4S and say: "iPhone Chhe"

With the launch of iPhone 6, OLX is more excited than Apple.... as people will sell old phones, car, house etc to buy iPhone.

Apple is Chinese, all iPhones look the same.

Dear Apple,
iPhone-6 Will Be Priced At 70k...
iPhone-9 Ke Saath Kya Nano Free Milegi ...??

iPhone's are like the Golmaal movie:
Every new version has the same features... but is longer than the previous one..!!!
iPhone6 costs more than the total money Harman Baweja earned from hi Bollywood career...!!!


----------



## Flash (Sep 23, 2014)

^ 

The best feature of iPhone 6 is that if you hold it upside down it becomes iPhone 9. ---> Ultimate trollerhood.


----------



## TechnoBOY (Sep 24, 2014)

[MENTION=117522]sumit05[/MENTION] 
Troll master. - Imgur


----------



## arijitsinha (Oct 9, 2014)

I told a girl to call me when she gets home I guess she's homeless...


----------



## Faun (Oct 9, 2014)

^^hehe...good one


----------



## TechnoBOY (Oct 9, 2014)

arijitsinha said:


> I told a girl to call me when she gets home I guess she's homeless...


Lol good one ! And why its poor jokes thread


----------



## sling-shot (Oct 9, 2014)

There are jokes, funny jokes, LoL jokes and then there are the PJs. They are the ultimate level. After listening / reading one you wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry but instead you would be looking to bang the head against nearest stone / concrete wall 

To celebrate those this thread!


----------



## Flash (Oct 9, 2014)

TechnoBOY said:


> @sumit05
> Troll master. - Imgur


I wish i could like this. Sadly the like button is gone from our forum. :/


----------



## $hadow (Oct 9, 2014)

Flash said:


> I wish i could like this. Sadly the like button is gone from our forum. :/



And still waiting for it to come back


----------



## amjath (Oct 9, 2014)

^raabo said not possible


----------



## Flash (Oct 11, 2014)

What will students do, if they got bored in Chemistry class?
They will pass sar-caustic comments.


----------



## sumit05 (Oct 16, 2014)

Instead of burning a Pataka,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Date a Pataka!
Have an eco-friendly Diwali!
Applicable to bachelors only!
Because married men are already living with Nuclear Bombs!


----------



## kaz (Oct 16, 2014)




----------



## Shah (Oct 16, 2014)

^^ That last line.


----------



## abhigeek (Oct 16, 2014)

So Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer...
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.


----------



## ASHISH65 (Oct 26, 2014)

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: can kids of our age have kids?


Teacher replied: NO Never!!


Boy said to girl : see i told you not to worry!


----------



## $hadow (Oct 28, 2014)

ASHISH65 said:


> Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: can kids of our age have kids?
> 
> 
> Teacher replied: NO Never!!
> ...


Now that was not a poor one but a good joke


----------



## Nanducob (Oct 28, 2014)

This message came in my sister's inbox in matriomonial site account.
*s27.postimg.org/6ulatbmyr/qwerty.png
we should look at things before pressing enter key


----------



## anirbandd (Oct 29, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> This message came in my sister's inbox in matriomonial site account.
> *s27.postimg.org/6ulatbmyr/qwerty.png
> we should look at things before pressing enter key



poor joke?? where is the joke??


----------



## kaz (Oct 29, 2014)

lawl


----------



## SaiyanGoku (Oct 29, 2014)

anirbandd said:


> poor joke?? where is the joke??



Read again :*Dead parent*


----------



## abhigeek (Oct 29, 2014)

^^ Auto correct made 'Dear' to 'Dead' ^_^


----------



## sushovan (Oct 31, 2014)

Tim Cook came out as gay.

now it is clear why they used to say Samsung is always 'behind' Apple.

Xiaomi CEO Hugo Barra is expected to come out soon.

Lastly, Micromax CEO is also expected to announce that He is more gay but isnt gay. ( Nothing like anything).


----------



## Nanducob (Nov 4, 2014)

Lady : Do you smoke ?
Man : Yes
Lady : How many packs a day ?
Man : 3 packs
Lady : How much per pack
Man : $10.00
Lady : And how long have you been smoking ?
Man : 15 years
Lady : So 1 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be$10,800 correct ?
Man : Correct
Lady : If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct ?
Man : Correct
Lady : Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari ?
Man : Do you smoke ?
Lady : No
Man : Where's your Ferrari then ?
Lady :


----------



## SaiyanGoku (Nov 4, 2014)

^ add this
Man: See that Ferrari over there
Lady: Yeah, what about it?
Man: That's mine.


----------



## Nanducob (Nov 4, 2014)

^^Lady :here is my ferrari (.) (.)


----------



## Flash (Nov 5, 2014)

Nanducob said:


> ^^Lady :here is my ferrari (.) (.)


Are those 2 wheels?


----------



## Nanducob (Nov 5, 2014)

Flash said:


> Are those 2 wheels?


Yup side view


----------



## sumit05 (Nov 5, 2014)

Little girls want Barbie Dolls and little boys want big cars.
After growing up, big girls want big cars and big boys want Barbie girls!


----------



## sling-shot (Nov 10, 2014)

Advani is so old that carbon uses Advani dating to know its age.


----------



## Nipun (Nov 10, 2014)




----------



## sumit05 (Nov 21, 2014)

Who's the father of the chicken?
Chiken Ka-bab.

Who's the mother of the chicken ?
Chicken Ki-ma.

How do you tell a chicken to call you on your mobile?
Kal-mi Kabab.

What happens when a chicken takes a bath ?
Chicken Shower-ma.


----------



## Flash (Nov 21, 2014)

sumit05 said:


> Who's the father of the chicken?
> Chiken Ka-bab.


Chicken lolly-pop.


----------



## Nanducob (Nov 22, 2014)

Two reasons i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone.1)I don't have an iPhone2)I don't have girlfriend


----------



## sumit05 (Nov 23, 2014)

Ladies of 1970s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Abhi laee ji.

Ladies of 1980s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Abhi laee.

Ladies of 1990s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Laa rahi hu.

Ladies of 2000:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee! 
Wife: Banake pee le.

Ladies of 2014:
Husb: Ek Cup Coffee!
Wife: Kya kaha?
Husb: Maine kaha, ek cup coffee bana du kya?

- - - Updated - - -

A very effective Dhamki by wife in new style:
Tum Jitna Time Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter Ko Doge... Mein Utna Time Flipkart, Amazon, Snapdeal, Jabong, ebay ko dungi !!!

A Philosopher HUSBAND said: Every WIFE is a 'Mistress' of her Husband...
'Miss' for first year & 'Stress' for rest of the life.

A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage.
She said: Sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot.

Listening to your Wife is like reading terms & conditions of a website. You understand nothing but still click on "I AGREE"


----------



## Flash (Dec 1, 2014)

What should a Jedi do, if his/her PC hangs up?
Force Restart.


----------



## Vyom (Dec 1, 2014)

Flash said:


> What should a Jedi do, if his/her PC hangs up?
> Force Restart.


----------



## $hadow (Dec 1, 2014)

Flash said:


> What should a Jedi do, if his/her PC hangs up?
> Force Restart.



way to go


----------



## Flash (Dec 2, 2014)

Vyom said:


>





$hadow said:


> way to go


That's my own PJ.


----------



## sling-shot (Dec 5, 2014)

(Need Hindi knowledge to get it) 

Which song is this?
12.99999
















































"tera hone laga hoon"


----------



## Nerevarine (Dec 5, 2014)

sling-shot said:


> (Need Hindi knowledge to get it)
> 
> Which song is this?
> 12.99999
> ...


----------



## sling-shot (Dec 5, 2014)

One more in the same vein:

On  similar lines
Guess which song is this
212
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.









Two mere agal bagal hai


----------



## harshilsharma63 (Dec 5, 2014)

sling-shot said:


> (Need Hindi knowledge to get it)
> 
> Which song is this?
> 12.99999
> ...



Why am I alive after reading this...


----------



## Flash (Dec 5, 2014)

harshilsharma63 said:


> Why am I alive after reading this...


To hear another one, like this...


----------



## $hadow (Dec 5, 2014)

Flash said:


> To hear another one, like this...



Lol..


----------



## sumit05 (Dec 7, 2014)

Patni: Chalo Ek Khel Khelte Hain... Main Chhupti Hoon Aur Aap Mujhe Dhoondhna. Agar Aapne Dhoondh Liya Toh Main Aapke Saath Shopping Karne Chalungi.
Pati: Aur Agar Nahin Dhoondh Paya Toh ?
Patni: Aaisa Mat Kaho Jaanu...... Bas Darwaje Ke Peechhe Hee Chhupoongi ...!!!

Ek Aurat Apne Boyfriend Ke Saath Bazaar Mein Ghoom Rahi Thee Ki Tabhi Uska Pati Mila Gaya.
Pati Ne Boyfriend Ko Peetna Shuru kar Diya.
Aurat: Maaro Saaley Ko... Apni Biwi Ko Kabhi Ghumaane Le Jaata Nahi Aur Doosron Ki Biwion Ko Le Jaata Hai.
Tabhi Boyfriend Ko Josh Aa Gaya Aur Woh Pati Ko Peetne Shuru Kar Deta Hai.
Aurat: Maar Saale Ko !!! Khud Toh Kabhi Ghumaane Le Jaata Nahi Aur Doosron Ko Bhi Nahin Ghumaane Deta!!!

Husband: Tumhare Shaadi Se Pehle Kitne Boyfriend The??
Wife silent...
Husband Chilla Ke: Mein Iss Khamoshi Ka Kya Matlab Samjhun?
Wife: Haaye Rabba... Gin Toh Rahi Hun.... Chilla Kyun Rahe Ho...

Pati: Saab, Meri Patni Gum Ho Gayi Hai!!!
Postmaster: Oye, Andhaa Hai Kya ??? Ye Post Office Hai, Police Station Jaa Na.
Pati: Maaf Karna Bhai, Kyaa Karoon, Khushi Ke Maare Kuchh Samajh Nahi Aa Rahaa Ki Kidhar Jaauun ???`


----------



## Nipun (Dec 7, 2014)

None of them are PJs.

- - - Updated - - -

These are PJs:
"Civil Engineers ki life JCB ho, maza aata hai".
"Woh flour pe giri aur fir woh roti jaa rhi thi".

And a slightly lesser poor:
"Zindagi me koi bhi takleef ho to kissan ke paas jana chahiye... unke paas _hal_ hota hai!".


----------



## Desmond (Dec 7, 2014)

Nipun the PJ master knows best. Lel.


----------



## harshilsharma63 (Dec 7, 2014)

Nipun said:


> None of them are PJs.
> 
> - - - Updated - - -
> 
> ...


----------



## Flash (Dec 16, 2014)

What do Rajinikanth and Chuck Norris have in common?


Spoiler



R, I, N, K and H


----------



## Flash (Oct 13, 2017)

Poor Jokes Thread


----------



## Nanducob (Oct 19, 2017)

my life


----------



## Nerevarine (Nov 3, 2021)

Begone bot. On a side note, thanks for the bump. we need this thread to be active again


----------



## Vyom (Nov 4, 2021)

I didn't know of this thread's existence.
But I liked Nanducob's PJ the most.


----------

